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  1. louixo

    IRS GENIE

    The IRS Genie A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden, he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him...
  2. louixo

    More blonde funnies

    Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:" Which do you think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida.......????? A police officer stops a blonde for...
  3. louixo

    Generic Names

    In pharmacology, all drugs have two names - a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol is acetaminophen. Aleve is known as naproxen, Amoxil is amoxicillin, and Advil is ibuprofen. The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After consideration by a team...
  4. louixo

    THANKYOU

    I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to sendmeyour damn chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern... I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer...
  5. louixo

    Good day Mr. American!

    A Pakistani arrives in Houston, Texas. All excited, he stops the first person he meets. "Good day, Mr. American, thank you to accept me in your nice country, and... " The person interrupts and says: "I am not American, I'm Chinese " The Pakistani continues on his way and meets another...
  6. louixo

    Sentiments yu won`t find at Hallmark

    Rich M, Tom Robertson, Lawrence and others who have sent me personal messages. First let me apologize for not replying, but for some reason I never see the persoanl message icon flashing when logging in (which is seldom anyway), or it isn`t flashing. Today it was flashing and I found messages...
  7. louixo

    Sentiments yu won`t find at Hallmark

    Greeting card companies try to think up verses to convey anything that they think will sell a card. But there are some things you can`t find a card for. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry...
  8. louixo

    THE POLITICS OF COWS

    Funny and original Terry and Rene....not to mention TRUE!
  9. louixo

    Another TOP 10

    Her`s another one of those top 10 gags. Top Ten Most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper is Down..... 10. The cucumber has left the salad. 9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 7. Pag ing...
  10. louixo

    A Chinese Wedding

    A Chinese couple got married. They both worked in the same Chinese restaurant and it was love at first sight. She was a virgin, and truth be told, he was none too experienced either. On their wedding night, she cowered naked under the bed sheets as herhusband undressed. He climbed in next to...
  11. louixo

    THE POLITICS OF COWS

    DEMOCRATIC: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you. REPUBLICANISM: You have two cows...
  12. louixo

    Preacher, get well soon!

    Get your stength back and do what the doctor tells you. There will still be plenty of frieght out there, and you´ll be stronger and more productive, when you return. Hope your feeling good , and not letting your downtime get to you. Take care. Get well.
  13. louixo

    A well thought out peace plan

    Here is a well thought out 10 point peace plan. The UN ambassador should stand up at the United Nations and read this to the world assemblage. 1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich...
  14. louixo

    Working the system

    A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, "What can I do for you?" The man says, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that...
  15. louixo

    Some poiticians are in touch with thier constituen

    This guy needs to seek higher office. He´s a city councilman from Midland, TX. City Councilman ejected from studio! T. Bubba Bechtol, part time City Councilman from Midland, TX, was asked on a local live radio talk show the other day just what he thought of the allegations of torture of...
  16. louixo

    Forest fables

    Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says...
  17. louixo

    New versions of old songs

    Some of the artists of the 60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. A new geezer tour is planned for this fall. They include: Herman's Hermits...Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker The Bee Gees......How Can You Mend a Broken Hip Bobby...
  18. louixo

    You can´t argue with the math.

    What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical...
  19. louixo

    Journalistic Truth

    - News Anchor Dan Rather and Peter Jennings, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts and a U.S. Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the leader. The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom...
  20. louixo

    You know your from California if...

    So as not to be outdone by all the Redneck, Hillbilly, and Texan jokes, you know you're from California if: 1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible. 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying...
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