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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. What type of bra?" asked the clerk. Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type? Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea...

A campaign encouraging people to enter an emergency contact number in their mobile phone's memory under the heading ICE (In Case of Emergency), has rapidly spread throughout the world as a particular consequence of last week's terrorist attacks in London. Originally established as a nation-wide...

Lawrence...number 7...what about dweeb.

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter. 3. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center. 4. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 5. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 6...

Doctors: (A) The number of doctors in the U.S. is 700,000 (B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000 (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14% Statistics courtesy of the U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services ************************************ Guns: (A)...

The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price...

This is an answer to a letter which stated: "Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base: Whom do we thank for the morning air show? Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11 a.m., a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall, continuing west over Bell Road at...

Finally a Barbie you can relate to. At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic... 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain...

The new models are out. Pick the one that`s right for her.

I lie awake waiting for you. As I lie on my bunk, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me. You...

John Average started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE...

2004 Darwin Award Winners Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners for 2004. And the winner is: 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a...

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well for example yesterday I drove into town and went to a store on Main Street. I was only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him...

1.70 loaded and empty sounds high unless it`s with fuel surcharge and a deicated run. 2200 miles a week? What do you do the other 3 days? I think we`d all have to see some figures on these claims, so please elucidate.If anyone looks closely at any carrier contract, and sees what they offer,and...

RE: Getting starting in expedited/hot shot truckin Though hotshotting is a specialized niche in the fast freight market, you have to keep in mind the location you run out of, and the limitation of your equipment. When I first started expediting years ago, I was coming out of big rigs, and I...

I70 out of Denver is a beautiful drive, especially in the summer. I`ve gone across in the winter, and it`s also beautiful, but dicey with snow closings at any given time. For that reason, I used to go across I40 when doing a cross country run after September. You won`t be dissapointed in the...

About those REDNECKS........... Many of us have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so...

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly fell into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out...

Lawrence...how do you enlarge thise cartoons? They are thumbnails on my computer, and iI can`t find a way to make them larger. Last one, 4.

Secretary: - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you. George B. : - Good, send her in. Secretary: - Yessir. (Hangs up. Condi enters.) Condoleeza: - Good morning, Mr. President. George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening? Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have...