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When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in North Platte , Nebraska , it was believed that he had nothing left of any value . Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem . Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies...

--- A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, 'Thank you, Mr. American, for letting me in this country , giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!' The passerby...

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... 'Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I am sure of eet.' 'Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.' So, with...

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly Contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by Hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your...

watch this and be amazed.. YouTube - IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT ENERGY SAVER LIGHT BULBS!

2010 was not a good year to be President as reflected in 2033 Speech Introduction: Welcome to Toastmasters, June 13, 2033. That's right: 2033. Today Rick Campbell, one of our senior members at age 87, is here to reminisce a bit and give us a history lesson. He says he is so old that...

A careless driver can be from any company, not only Swift. I`m with Hawk on this one. First thing to do when sensing a dangerous situation at 67mph, is hit the brakes and go on the defensive. In this case, as described by Charles D, maintaining the same speed, and trying to drive your way out...

The OPEC minister may look you in the eye and say, We are at war with you infidels and have been since the embargo in the 1970s. WHY DIDN"T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT IN THE 1970's? YOU SAW IT COMING THEN! You build SUV's & gas hogs, smart thinking. You are so arrogant you haven't...

Congressman Roy Blunt put together this data to highlight the differences between House Republicans and Hous e Democrats on energy policy: ANWR Exploration House Republicans: 91% Supported House Democrats: 86% Opposed Coal-to-Liquid House Republicans: 97% Supported House Democrats: 78%...

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits...

Ray & Bubba (Georgia mechanical engineers)were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. 'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we don't have a ladder.' The woman took a wrench from her...

Because of the popularity of the Survivor shows, several southern TV stations are joining together and are planning to do their own, entitled: "SURVIVOR-- SOUTHERN STYLE" The contestants will start in Alabama, travel over to Georgia and on to South Carolina. From there they will head up to...

The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. 'May I help you?' she asked. 'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied. 'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer...

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket? Passenger: Sure. Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please! Passenger: What for? Attendant: For telling you where to sit. Passenger: But I already knew where to sit. Attendant: Nevertheless...

Just how much Senate experience does Barack Obama have in terms of actual work days? Not much. From the time Barack Obama was sworn in as a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the Senate...

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my older brother. I was maybe 2 and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among other injuries. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my...

PUT YOUR CAR KEYS BESIDE YOUR BED AT NIGHT Put your car keys beside your bed at night. If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until you turn it off...

Where are all of the Hollywood celebrities holding telethons asking for help in restoring Iowa and helping the folks affected by the floods? Where is all the media asking the tough questions about why the federal government hasn't solved the problem? Asking where the FEMA trucks (and...

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL! KEEP IT LIT!! KEEP IT LIT! For...

I called my friend Jake Lennard, a gastroenteritist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Jake showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis . Then Jake...