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1. Do You Love As Good As You Look? 2. Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life 3. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye 4. Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares 5. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 6. I Fell In A Pile Of...

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was...

i also say it's A....2123

I solved it on the first go. I was thinking of the least impact on the average citizen. Not politics, or influence, or re-election. Can you solve it? Actually I had more than solved it. nytimes.com/interactive/2010/11/13/weekinreview/deficits-graphic.html

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when...

Husband comes home from work and finds his wife standing in the mirror rubbing her breast with tissue. Husband: Honey, why are you standing in the mirror rubbing your breast with tissue ? Wife: Well, I was watching Oprah this afternoon and she had this expert on the panel who says a...

High-Tech Car Factory

Deck the halls with boughs of non-endangered plant species Fa la la la la, la la la la 'Tis the season to be self-actualizing, Fa la la la la, la la la la Don we now our alternate-lifestyle apparel Fa la la la la, la la la la Toll the ancient non-denominational-winter-solstice-holiday...

In the beginning, there was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form, And the Plan was without substance. And the darkness was upon the face of the workers, and they spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of kaka, and it stinketh." And the...

1. Thou shalt always fool around on your girlfriend (that way when she dumps you can always get the last laugh). 2. Thou shalt not do thy girlfriends friends unless you're sure you can get away with it AND it happens in her bed. 3. Thou shalt never spend more than $100...

Dear Earthling, Hello! I am a creature from a galaxy far away, visiting your planet. I have transformed myself into this text file. As you are reading it, I am having sex with your eyeballs. I know you like it because you are smiling. Please pass me on to someone else because I'm really horny.

A man named Fred was well into middle age, and had never had a "relationship" with a woman. He was unattractive, poor, and had little you could call personality. His strong moral upbringing prevented him from paying for sex. He had all but resolved to spend the rest of his life a frustrated...

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in...

A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?" "It's for your headache." "I don't have a headache. . ." "Gotcha!"

Pumpkin Pie - animated Flash ecard by Jacquie Lawson

Delay convicted on money laundering. I'm betting he only gets probation. What say you?

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party. The Indian Chief proclaims,"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger!" "In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days." "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests" "What is your FIRST...

Interesting dolphin bubbles. [VIDEO]

Can't see London, Can't see France, til we check your underpants. If we did our job any better, we'd have to buy you dinner first. Only we know if Lady GaGa is really a lady. Not to worry, my hands are still warm from the last person. We handle more bills than Barney Frank. We...

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The welfare clerk behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job...