DougTravels is Bored Storytelling Episode II
- Thread starter mypie
- Start date
inkasnana
Expert Expediter
the whole film will fall out of whack and not make any sense at all. It will also cost us a fortune to rewrite and reshoot everything, and frankly, we just don't have the budget for it."
Meanwhile, Inky, who has been napping in her trailer after suffering sun-stroke from sitting in the hot El Paso sun too long reading the latest gossip magazines, checks her email and responds back to mypie.
Feeling much better, Inkasnana returns to the set to catch up on what is going on. She gets back to the group in time to hear Doug say..
Meanwhile, Inky, who has been napping in her trailer after suffering sun-stroke from sitting in the hot El Paso sun too long reading the latest gossip magazines, checks her email and responds back to mypie.
It sounds like you are having a wonderful time on your cruise! Make sure you take plenty of pictures of all those hunky men that you've been eying. Cheri and I have a great idea for a calandar!
The filming has been a mess, but I think the director has finally gotten things, and highway star, under control. Now if he can just get Doug to lay off the glue for the remainder of the shoot, this film might have a chance. As far as the candy bridge, the candy is frozen when the set is built, but it thaws quickly and the Mexicans keep eating chunks of it. I foresee a huge expense trying to make this idea work.
I'm very curious about what the voodoo lady had to say to you. Your encounter with her sounded very errie, almost spooky! You, Cheri and I will have to have a private spa lunch when you get back so you can tell us all about it. Oh, and don't forget to bring the pictures!
The filming has been a mess, but I think the director has finally gotten things, and highway star, under control. Now if he can just get Doug to lay off the glue for the remainder of the shoot, this film might have a chance. As far as the candy bridge, the candy is frozen when the set is built, but it thaws quickly and the Mexicans keep eating chunks of it. I foresee a huge expense trying to make this idea work.
I'm very curious about what the voodoo lady had to say to you. Your encounter with her sounded very errie, almost spooky! You, Cheri and I will have to have a private spa lunch when you get back so you can tell us all about it. Oh, and don't forget to bring the pictures!
Feeling much better, Inkasnana returns to the set to catch up on what is going on. She gets back to the group in time to hear Doug say..
DougTravels
Not a Member
"Hey good looking, you got some fries to go with that shake" thats when Inkasnana..................
mypie
Seasoned Expediter
all sewed up.
After another fun day in the sun, Mypie sends an email to Inky.
After another fun day in the sun, Mypie sends an email to Inky.
Hi Inky,
Finally looks like you're starting to pull things together on the set. In Corpus Cristi I dispatched a refer truck to have Doug's new frozen shrunken head sent to you. I have also arranged to have the surgeons from ER meet you on the set to attach his head. They were available because after 12 years they have finally been cancelled and shot their final episode, they have plenty of experience and should do well. Try to get Doug into a Narcotics Anonymous 12 step program before surgery. There is no more glue sniffing with this new head. This is Doug's last chance to get straight. Thanks.
We have taken tons of pictures. Here is just a sample:
I really don't think that I can tell you what the VooDoo Priestest told me. She explicitly said that "I shouldn't utter a word to anybooooodie." I'm afraid of what might happen if I disobey her. I'm also not sure what is in this sack that she handed me. She told me that "when I need someting the sack woooood let me know," just as it did with Doug's head. I dare not cross her or I could end up looking like Doug is about to. It's just too risky.
Anyway, we had a great time parasailing in Corpus Cristi today. We could see the Mexican border from where we were and I really don't think that they are building a bridge. Looks more like they are digging a tunnel. You might want to have someone look into that. We need this film to be as true to life as possible or it will crash at the boxoffice.
Anyway, tomorrow we finally dock in Belize for 3 days. We just can't wait. How is the money holding out? Did I send enough? Stay in touch.
Mypie
PS - Please give my regards to Doug and tell him "its going to be a bumpy ride."
Finally looks like you're starting to pull things together on the set. In Corpus Cristi I dispatched a refer truck to have Doug's new frozen shrunken head sent to you. I have also arranged to have the surgeons from ER meet you on the set to attach his head. They were available because after 12 years they have finally been cancelled and shot their final episode, they have plenty of experience and should do well. Try to get Doug into a Narcotics Anonymous 12 step program before surgery. There is no more glue sniffing with this new head. This is Doug's last chance to get straight. Thanks.
We have taken tons of pictures. Here is just a sample:
I really don't think that I can tell you what the VooDoo Priestest told me. She explicitly said that "I shouldn't utter a word to anybooooodie." I'm afraid of what might happen if I disobey her. I'm also not sure what is in this sack that she handed me. She told me that "when I need someting the sack woooood let me know," just as it did with Doug's head. I dare not cross her or I could end up looking like Doug is about to. It's just too risky.
Anyway, we had a great time parasailing in Corpus Cristi today. We could see the Mexican border from where we were and I really don't think that they are building a bridge. Looks more like they are digging a tunnel. You might want to have someone look into that. We need this film to be as true to life as possible or it will crash at the boxoffice.
Anyway, tomorrow we finally dock in Belize for 3 days. We just can't wait. How is the money holding out? Did I send enough? Stay in touch.
Mypie
PS - Please give my regards to Doug and tell him "its going to be a bumpy ride."
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After a day to clear his head after Chong's departure and a good nights sleep, Highway Star takes a meeting with Cheri and the director to get up to speed on the script.
"The cast of E.R.... You're kidding, right? Is there anything more 'yesterdays news' than E.R.? We have to be current! We're expected to be on the cutting edge. You people just want to see this go down in flames, don't you? We need the cast from 'House'. Give me a call when you people get a clue!"
He heads back to the airstream, his knickers clearly in a wad.
The director gets on the phone with the producers. "Send Stars contract over to legal and let's see if we can find some kind of loophole to bounce this guy out of here."
Mypie and Inky hear about Stars criticism and...
"The cast of E.R.... You're kidding, right? Is there anything more 'yesterdays news' than E.R.? We have to be current! We're expected to be on the cutting edge. You people just want to see this go down in flames, don't you? We need the cast from 'House'. Give me a call when you people get a clue!"
He heads back to the airstream, his knickers clearly in a wad.
The director gets on the phone with the producers. "Send Stars contract over to legal and let's see if we can find some kind of loophole to bounce this guy out of here."
Mypie and Inky hear about Stars criticism and...
mypie
Seasoned Expediter
Mypie shoots off a very angry email to Highway Star.
Upon reading this irrate email from Mypie, Star curls up in a ball in the corner and sniffs and licks his own butt.
Well, Star, you think you're all this and all that! {Snapping fingers can actually be heard through the email} Let me tell you, all we hear from you is one complaint after another, this is not good enough for you or that is not good enough for you. Yet, you don't want to do any of the work or put any skin in the project. You just want to sit around smoking dope with Chong. Nuf said!
You want the cast from House, if you can get them?!? The cast from ER were available and they are actually going to perform live surgery on Doug. I'm not about to loose my investment because you have a problem.
I'm sure that the Voodoo Priestest has given me something in my little sack that can shut up your whining.
You want the cast from House, if you can get them?!? The cast from ER were available and they are actually going to perform live surgery on Doug. I'm not about to loose my investment because you have a problem.
I'm sure that the Voodoo Priestest has given me something in my little sack that can shut up your whining.
Upon reading this irrate email from Mypie, Star curls up in a ball in the corner and sniffs and licks his own butt.
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Star composes himself and answers:
I'm supposed to take this criticism from someone spending her time on the beach, on a cruise ship? I'm here on the fronts lines! I'm giving my blood, sweat and tears to this project! Put up or shut up, lady. When you're here, putting in grueling 6 hour days, with only a 2 hour break, then you can talk to me!!!
Star sends copies of both e-mails to the entire staff.
I'm supposed to take this criticism from someone spending her time on the beach, on a cruise ship? I'm here on the fronts lines! I'm giving my blood, sweat and tears to this project! Put up or shut up, lady. When you're here, putting in grueling 6 hour days, with only a 2 hour break, then you can talk to me!!!
Star sends copies of both e-mails to the entire staff.
mypie
Seasoned Expediter
At that, the Producer, Director and the entire staff sit Highway Star down for a meeting. "Listen, Star, I know its not fair, but Mypie is now a major, OK our only investor in this project. She's paying your salary. If you decide to continue to be this difficult, she can see to it that your next meal comes out of a garbage can on skid row. Is that what you want? Not only that but she will cancel your contract due to breach and see that you never work in this town again."
Tail between his legs, Highway Star returns to his Airstream and whimpers himself to sleep.
Tail between his legs, Highway Star returns to his Airstream and whimpers himself to sleep.
inkasnana
Expert Expediter
A message is delivered to the director by courier and he disappears into his office. Ten minutes later he comes out and calls the whole cast together for a big announcement. "I've just received word from the producers that there are some major changes that are to be made. Investors have had a meeting and they are completely unhappy with the way things are going and are demanding something be done."
As the cast looks on with curious interest the director continues, "Doug will be returning to the starring role, with highway star as a lead supporting role. The investors insist that Doug will be the biggest draw at the box-office and unless he is returned to the lead role they will pull their money from the film."
Upon hearing this, highway star turns and storms off to his trailer, muttering about his contract, his agent and his lawyers. Doug, who has been trying to catch a fly that is buzzing around his head, removes his fake frozen, shrunken head and gives a thumbs up to the director, saying, "You got it boss-man. Just one question though..."
As the cast looks on with curious interest the director continues, "Doug will be returning to the starring role, with highway star as a lead supporting role. The investors insist that Doug will be the biggest draw at the box-office and unless he is returned to the lead role they will pull their money from the film."
Upon hearing this, highway star turns and storms off to his trailer, muttering about his contract, his agent and his lawyers. Doug, who has been trying to catch a fly that is buzzing around his head, removes his fake frozen, shrunken head and gives a thumbs up to the director, saying, "You got it boss-man. Just one question though..."
DougTravels
Not a Member
it's about my love scenes with the pilot girls, I want to see if I can focus more on #5, Whats her name Marisa something? The director pulls out some model pics holds one up and says this chic?
Doug replies: Yeah, thats her, I think the kid deserves a break send her to my trailer we need to work on our chemistry. Doug thinks to himself, lucky girl that Marisa, getting to work with such a hottie......
Doug replies: Yeah, thats her, I think the kid deserves a break send her to my trailer we need to work on our chemistry. Doug thinks to himself, lucky girl that Marisa, getting to work with such a hottie......
"...if Mypie is our only investor, how much money can we actually have to work with? She's an expediter, for Petes sake! They ain't exactly takin' wheelbarrows full of money to the bank right now." The room is quiet, as they know Doug is making a good point. "Yes, I know a guy with my charisma and ability can put some butts in the seats, but I'm not sure we'll have enough cash to get this thing done."
Meanwhile, Highway Star is on the phone with his agent. "I'm ready to leave this mess. I'm ready to pitch that reality series I've been putting together to Fox TV. I'm going to put the Octo-mom in a Sprinter and we'll follow her adventures as an expediter. I'm getting a high school sophomore, Tiffany Tinselteeth, to take care of the kids at home. Well have cameras there as well. We can have this up and running real fast, while those amateurs in El Paso are trying to scrounge up nickles and dimes."
Mypie, lounging poolside with her copy of Daily Variety, reads the news of Stars latest venture in the gossip column.
Meanwhile, Highway Star is on the phone with his agent. "I'm ready to leave this mess. I'm ready to pitch that reality series I've been putting together to Fox TV. I'm going to put the Octo-mom in a Sprinter and we'll follow her adventures as an expediter. I'm getting a high school sophomore, Tiffany Tinselteeth, to take care of the kids at home. Well have cameras there as well. We can have this up and running real fast, while those amateurs in El Paso are trying to scrounge up nickles and dimes."
Mypie, lounging poolside with her copy of Daily Variety, reads the news of Stars latest venture in the gossip column.
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mypie
Seasoned Expediter
Which she was using to cover up the fact that she was actually reading Highway Star's contract.
In small print under Paragraph 26 line 5 it reads . . .
Mypie thinks . . . "what kind of idiot did Highway hire as an agent? Didn't Highway even read this? Where was his attorney? Now, this film can get very interesting with all kinds of action. Highway may end up a big star afterall {if he survives}."
So, Mypie spends a few minutes zipping off an email to the Producers:
She wrote . . .
In small print under Paragraph 26 line 5 it reads . . .
"In such case as Highway Star should fail to perform, . . .the aforementioned (so called "big star") shall be stripped of his lead role including, but not limited to all amenities and accommodations, without limitation (i.e., trailers, meals, personal assistants, stunt doubles, etc., etc., etc.) . . . without legal reprisal notwithstanding any . . . and to wit be forced to engage in any embarrassing and humilitating act the Project deems necessary to completion of said Project . . . so on and so forth . . . "
Mypie thinks . . . "what kind of idiot did Highway hire as an agent? Didn't Highway even read this? Where was his attorney? Now, this film can get very interesting with all kinds of action. Highway may end up a big star afterall {if he survives}."
So, Mypie spends a few minutes zipping off an email to the Producers:
She wrote . . .
cruzer
Not a Member
very little before a group of mexican truck drivers come crashing into the pool areaand rolled mypie up in a towel and ducktape,threw her in the truck and headed to there boat where they then dragged her down the very old uneven dock..THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP all the way to the awaiting boat where they threw her on board and headed for mexico where they would inslave her,making her bend tocos and sweep dirt floors,serve them there food,wash there close on a rock at the river and polish there trucks all while having her ankles chained and making her watch highway stars top movies over and over on a portable dvd player while they........
inkasnana
Expert Expediter
Suddenly Cruzer was jolted awake from his vindictive, yet somehow sastisfying, dream by someone dumping ice water on his head. Yelling, sputtering and jumping off the couch he was napping on, Cruzer tried to focus his eyes to see who had dumped the water. Smirking, Inkasnana said "Time to wake up sleeping beauty, naptime's over. It's time to get back to work. Everyone is waiting for you on set."
As Inky walked away, Cruzer...
As Inky walked away, Cruzer...
cruzer
Not a Member
just stood with a smile on his face as mexican truck drivers rolled inki in a blanket and ducktape and drug her down the stairs,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP
(cruzer thought to himself sometimes dreams do come true) and apon reaching the bottom of the stairs one mexican driver said to the other,we stop for coronas,the other replied no denaros and cruzer called to them he was buying so they turned and went back up the steps dragging inki behind them,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,after they reached the top of the stairs cruzer realized he had left his wallet downstairs in his truck so they headed back down the stairs,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,and out the door to cruzers truck,THUMP,and the mexicans realy liked cruzers truck,they said nice cheby esay, so thinking he may have befriended the mexican drivers he ask what they would be doing with inki and they said the other momaseta(mypie)was becoming slow and week and they would replace her with inki and feed the other to the dogs but cruzer could not allow that to happen to mypie so he suggested to them that instead of feeding her to the dogs to donate her to the donkey show in Nuavo Laredo because the dogs would spend a week licking there butts to get the taste out of there mouth and they replied AAAAAAAA,good idea esay,and loaded inki in there truck and of they went to mexico,and after arriving back at there yard and getting inki to the rock at the river to wash there cloths...............mean while back at the set highway asks cruzer what was going on and cruzer explained then highway smiled,at least I think he did,its hard to tell with those floppy lips,and invited cruzer back to the airstream for a glass of champain
(cruzer thought to himself sometimes dreams do come true) and apon reaching the bottom of the stairs one mexican driver said to the other,we stop for coronas,the other replied no denaros and cruzer called to them he was buying so they turned and went back up the steps dragging inki behind them,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,after they reached the top of the stairs cruzer realized he had left his wallet downstairs in his truck so they headed back down the stairs,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,THUMP,and out the door to cruzers truck,THUMP,and the mexicans realy liked cruzers truck,they said nice cheby esay, so thinking he may have befriended the mexican drivers he ask what they would be doing with inki and they said the other momaseta(mypie)was becoming slow and week and they would replace her with inki and feed the other to the dogs but cruzer could not allow that to happen to mypie so he suggested to them that instead of feeding her to the dogs to donate her to the donkey show in Nuavo Laredo because the dogs would spend a week licking there butts to get the taste out of there mouth and they replied AAAAAAAA,good idea esay,and loaded inki in there truck and of they went to mexico,and after arriving back at there yard and getting inki to the rock at the river to wash there cloths...............mean while back at the set highway asks cruzer what was going on and cruzer explained then highway smiled,at least I think he did,its hard to tell with those floppy lips,and invited cruzer back to the airstream for a glass of champain
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mypie
Seasoned Expediter
when suddenly bundles of pot and cash were shoved through the doors of the Airstream blocking any escape by Cruzer or Highway Star. The shutters and doors bolted shut and the Mexican's Cheby backed to the Airstream's hitch and off they flew down a pothole ridden road (often hitting their heads on the ceiling of the Airstream). Mind you, Inky and Mypie were at the helm giving direction to the Mexicans, shouting "Ondeley, ondeley, mucho rapido!"
When they arrived at the shore of the Gulf of Mexico the Mexicans (at Mypie's and Inky's direction) hooked the Airsream up to an anchor to a Cigarette Speed Boat dragging the Airstream to the bottom of the ocean and spinning out of control. Cruzer and Highway grabbing each other in places that are unmentionable and then puked on each other from being dizzy and seasick all at the same time. When the Airstream began to leak they pis*ed on themselves just before they crapped in their pants. When the leaks in the Airstream caused stinging jellyfish to come in and stung mostly Cruzer all over his body.
Then the Airstream came to a sudden stop, the tow released, and sunk to a level of 10000 ft. falling into a rocky underwater cave, when the rocks collapsed blocking all exits from their underwater grave. And, they were never heard from again.
Meanwhile, on the surface Mypie and Inky toasted their accomplishment with Dom Perion while the Mexicans drank Dos XX's and Corona!
Mypie then instructs the Mexicans to deliver both her and Inky to their cruise ship now docked in Belize, where Inky is invited to spend the balance of the cruise as a stowaway in Mypie's elegant cabin. Safely back on board of the cruise ship . . .
When they arrived at the shore of the Gulf of Mexico the Mexicans (at Mypie's and Inky's direction) hooked the Airsream up to an anchor to a Cigarette Speed Boat dragging the Airstream to the bottom of the ocean and spinning out of control. Cruzer and Highway grabbing each other in places that are unmentionable and then puked on each other from being dizzy and seasick all at the same time. When the Airstream began to leak they pis*ed on themselves just before they crapped in their pants. When the leaks in the Airstream caused stinging jellyfish to come in and stung mostly Cruzer all over his body.
Then the Airstream came to a sudden stop, the tow released, and sunk to a level of 10000 ft. falling into a rocky underwater cave, when the rocks collapsed blocking all exits from their underwater grave. And, they were never heard from again.
Meanwhile, on the surface Mypie and Inky toasted their accomplishment with Dom Perion while the Mexicans drank Dos XX's and Corona!
Mypie then instructs the Mexicans to deliver both her and Inky to their cruise ship now docked in Belize, where Inky is invited to spend the balance of the cruise as a stowaway in Mypie's elegant cabin. Safely back on board of the cruise ship . . .
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inkasnana
Expert Expediter
mypie and Inkasnana are enjoying a delicious gourmet meal being served by a crew of sexy, hunky men with no shirts on. They each raised their glasses of Dom Perion and sighed, "Ah, life is good!"
Suddenly, Doug bolted awake and smacked his head on the side window of the truck. "OW! Oh man! That was some dream! Where am I? Oww, that hurt." Looking around he realized he was sitting in his truck in a truck stop in northeastern Maryland and it was dark out. He had fallen into a deep sleep in his boredom and had slept for 14 hours straight.
Slowly climbing out of his truck and working the stiffness out of his back and legs, he headed towards the building to find the bathroom. His mind was still fuzzy with sleep and he stopped when...
Suddenly, Doug bolted awake and smacked his head on the side window of the truck. "OW! Oh man! That was some dream! Where am I? Oww, that hurt." Looking around he realized he was sitting in his truck in a truck stop in northeastern Maryland and it was dark out. He had fallen into a deep sleep in his boredom and had slept for 14 hours straight.
Slowly climbing out of his truck and working the stiffness out of his back and legs, he headed towards the building to find the bathroom. His mind was still fuzzy with sleep and he stopped when...