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Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was nothing they could do. Like it or not, he was stuck with it. All the years of growing up was real tough on him because all who saw the screw made fun...

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. Short line. Just one little lady in front of me. . .a sweet looking little Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars, and she was a little irritated . . . She asked...

Sorry...I also was under the wrong topic. Anyway the same goes for the essay...it´s just entertainment.

Frieght..it´s an urban poem. Credit was given to Jay Leno. It could have been Mickey Mouse. It´s entertainment, not a personal viewpoint, so don´t get your shirt in a knot over nothing. Just read it and enjoy it, or don´t read it.

I cross ocean, poor and broke, Take bus, see employment folk. Nice man treat me good in there, Say I need go see Welfare. Welfare say, "You come no more, We send cash right to your door." Welfare checks, they make you wealthy, Medicaid it keep you healthy! By and by, Got plenty money...

> > > "The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine > and came across some poll > > data I found rather hard to believe. It must > be true given the source, > > right? > > > > The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of > Americans are unhappy with > > the direction...

We all have our disagreements with President Bush. Immigration, U.S. Attorney firings, Iraq, Darfur, etc are all hot topics these days. The following "speech" was written by an ordinary 'Maine-iac.' While satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in FACT to be effective. An excellent...

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world." Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world." Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the...

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the Coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual...

How about vodka, cherry jello and a little woozy sauce...it´s called a blood clot...

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his good time to be...

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said " You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He did what he needed to...

Once upon a time ~~~~~~~~ in a land far away, ~~~~~~~~ a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess ~~~~~~~~ happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. ~~~~~~~~ The frog hopped into...

On a flight getting ready to depart for New Orleans, Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear. "What's the matter?" Jack asked. "I've been transferred to New Orleans , there's crazy...

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is...

Let's put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth...

SOME OF YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH TO REMEMBER THAT NEARLY EVERY FAMILY IN AMERICA WAS GROSSLY AFFECTED BY WW II . MOST OF YOU DON'T REMEMBER THE RATIONING OF MEAT, SHOES, GASOLINE, AND SUGAR. NO TIRES FOR OUR AUTOMOBILES, AND A SPEED LIMIT OF 35 MILES AN HOUR ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION, NO NEW...

Two boys in Boston were playing baseball when one of them was attacked by a killer Rottweiler. The dog had already locked his jaws on the boys legs. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off of a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, breaking the dog's neck. A...

A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order. The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. "Well...

YOU CANT FIX STUPID These people prove it is a terminal condition. As always, competition this year has been keen. Eighth Place In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing his head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his...