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If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility.... Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?" A...

80-year-old George goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, "George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" George replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's...

Question: What is Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with...

There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table. Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom. When he returned his trousers were wet all over. What happened...

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the administration had...

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway. I was thinking...

According to a news report, a certain school in Garden City, MI was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom.That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror...

A woman stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law laying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm...

August 31, 2007 WASHINGTON – The U.S. Department of Transportation has delayed plans to open the border to long-haul Mexican trucks until at least Thursday, after earlier reports that it could happen over Labor Day weekend. In a filing yesterday in the Ninth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in...

Remember that song by Don McLean? For years people have been trying to figure out what it all meant. Check out this video. Music trivia par at it´s best. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ycgegp0KdE4

Marine Corps Rules 1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough. 3. Have a plan. 4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 5. Be polite. Be professional, but, have a plan to...

Islam as explained by a Brit. http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=418_1176494781

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently...

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School Psychiatry at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it! 1. This is this cat. 2. This is is cat. 3. This is...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugk4MhwNfiA

Friendship between Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew about it. Friendship between Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told...

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big ###### red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll...

Many over the road truckers, have gotten off the road to be home with the family, and then later on want to go back on the road. Many take non driving jobs after being on the road. I have two close friends that did just that, and now are ready to go back out on the road again, after being in...

Bubba, a furniture dealer in Georgia, wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store. Although he had never traveled outside the USA, he decided to go to Paris to get some ideas. After arriving in the French city he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would...

http://jokelibrary.net/yyPictures/m/2008..html