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These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of...

YouTube - Continuous Chest Compression CPR - Mayo Clinic Presentation

Tell me...are YOU lonesome tonight? YouTube - Are You Lonesome Tonight (Senior Moments Version)

My wife and I are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George . Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decided to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later...

I'm a legal American citizen and I must show my ID when: 1 Pulled over by the police. 2 Making purchases on my department store credit card. 3 When I show up for a doctor's appointment. 4 When filling out a credit card or loan application. 5 When applying...

This had to take days to set up. YouTube - OK Go - This Too Shall Pass - Rube Goldberg Machine version - Official

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands...

What I Want In a Man, Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking...

Drafting Guys Over 60 This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier... New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing...

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time. 2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it. 3. They will then discover #1 is a lie. 4. You are smiling now because YOU are an idiot. 5. You soon will forward this to another idiot. 6. There is still a...

I write on behalf of Mr. Anthony Hayward, whom you insulted in your column of last week entitled “A Message from Real Americans.” First: You silly twit! Second, you clearly have delusions of intelligence wrapped in a pasta of patriotism and marinated in that “self-love” you Americans love...

FIND OUT WHO TRULY IS YOUR ROLE MODEL. DON'T SCROLL DOWN YET, DO THE SIMPLE MATH BELOW, THEN SCROLL DOWN TO FIND YOUR HERO. ONLY TAKES A MINUTE. It's CRAZY how accurate this is! No peeking! 1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9 2) Multiply by 3 then 3) Add 3 4)...

Tea Party Member Stuns Crowd! | Personal Liberty Digest

A man got on a bus after finishing a round of golf with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls. A blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets, Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." The blonde continued to...

Barack Obama is on track to have the most spectacularly failed presidency since Woodrow Wilson. In the modern era, we've seen several failed presidencies--led by Jimmy Carter and LBJ. Failed presidents have one strong common trait-- they are repudiated, in the vernacular, spat out. Of course...

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under fiction. Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement . When you're...

In 1972, Joe Miller was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Tulsa Junior College. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Joe approached it very carefully. He got down on one...

One of the surprises we'll find come next year, is what follows - - a little "surprise" that 99% of us had no idea was included in the "new and improved" healthcare legislation . . . the dupes, er, dopes, who backed this administration will be astonished! Starting in 2011, (next year...

An elderly man in Tennessee had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond...

A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and...