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A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli...

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet. Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me". Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet". ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -- Paddy spies a...

Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you...

Frances Dilorinzo - Homemade Implants - This is one of the funniest things I`ve seen! It cracked me up! She did it really well!

You do the crime...you do the time. End of story. Violent criminals, and sex offenders whose who are rehabilitated and freed, should be forced to live with their lawyers, or the judges who decreed they were rehabilitated.

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Medical Animation - Heal: ghOst Production's 2009 Orthopedic Demo Reel - YouTube

General Electric is planning to move its 115-year-old X-ray division from Waukesha, Wis., to Beijing. In addition to moving the headquarters, the company will invest $2 billion in China and train more than 65 engineers and create six research centers. This is the same GE that made $5.1 billion...

Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by posing the following question: You're walking down a Deserted street with your wife And two small children. Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife Comes around the corner, Locks eyes with you...

A blonde is in a small two-seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. "Mayday, Mayday, Help, Help ! My pilot just died!" Ground control received her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, ma'am. I'll talk you down, just do as I...

> Things You Can Only Say at Thanksgiving (and get away with it) > > 1. Talk about a huge breast! > > 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. > > 3. It's Cool Whip time! > > 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! > > 5. Whew, that's one terrific spread! > > 6. I'm in the...

The History of the Middle Finger: Well, now...here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it? Before the...

There once was a powerful old Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief. A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai...

Breaking news for those that may be in the market for a new vehicle. Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the Renault Clio and the Ford Taurus, they have designed the Clitaurus. It also comes in pink and the average male car thief won't be...

Simple Ideas That Are Borderline Genius (35 Pics)

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?' The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws." The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten...

Biertijd.com // Media » Tablecloth Trick

I woke up this morning, got dressed and went in the kitchen where my wife was already fixing breakfast. I looked to see what she was cooking, and I see one of my socks in the frying pan. "What are you doing?" I asked her. She looked a little testy and said "I'm doing what you asked me to do...

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs, enough times that her husband finally asks, "Are you wearing...

A Pakistani immigrant goes to a Doctor and says "I feel terrible". The Doctor says "You need to pee and poop in a bucket for a week, throw in a dead fish and a rotting cabbage.. Put a towel over your head and inhale the vapors for 3 days" The man does this and goes back to the Doctor...