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A plane is on its way to toronto , when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in...

Help Kickstart World War III! - YouTube

A couple were laying in bed after a fantastic love making session. The woman spent the next hour just rubbing the guy, which was something she just loved to do. The guy asks her "Why do you love to rub me so much?" She answers, "Because I miss mine so much". I TOLD YOU IT WAS A CALIFORNIA LOVE...

Ray Stevens - Come to the USA - YouTube

Canadian's Version of David Letterman's Top 10. This is Canada 's Top Ten List of America 's Stupidity. Of course we look like idiots … because we are … 10) Only in America ... could...

An older gentleman that was a little hard of hearing took his wife with him to the doctor's office so she could help him. A nurse came into the waiting room, walked over to the old couple and in a quiet voice to the husband so other patients would not hear she said "The doctor would like a sperm...

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has...

TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armored booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person. Israel sees...

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are lie-clocks. Everyone on Earth has a lie-clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will...

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbors' male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds...

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 98%.. It's called Wedding Cake. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they...

Two little boys are going to the hospital the next day for operations. Theirs will be first on the schedule. The older boy leans over and asks, "What are you having done?" The second boy says, "I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm afraid." The first boy says, "You've got...

You can doctor this a little to make it your type of chocolate. The serve it with a pistol laying beside the plate, because after eating this your guest will want to commit suicide. It just doesn't get any better for a chocoholic. INGREDIENTS 1 package regular Oreo cookies (Not Double...

________________________________ BLACK GIRLFRIENDS I HAVE DATED By Tiger Woods ____________________________________________ THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY By Jane Fonda and Cindy Sheehan Illustrated by Michael Moore Foreword by George Soros...

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while...

A camel jockey immigrant goes to a Doctor and says "I feel terrible". The Doctor says "You need to urinate and crap in a bucket for a week, throw in a dead fish, and a rotting cabbage. Put a towel over your head, and inhale the vapours for 3 days". The man does this, and goes back to...

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed A computer chip that can store and play high fidelity Music in women's breast implants. The iBOOB will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 Depending on speaker size. This is considered to be a major...

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction! After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to...

I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid . He says he can stop any time. How...

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Lets have a look at the evidence: - No Christmas - No television - No nude women - No football - No pork chops - No hot dogs - No burgers - No beer - No bacon - Rags for clothes - Towels...