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  1. louixo

    Rube Goldberg dog machine

    Dog Goldberg Machine by Beneful® - YouTube
  2. louixo

    Train #4 New York City

    Panhandler Party - YouTube
  3. louixo

    100 most mispelled words

    100 Most Often <strike>Mispelled</strike> Misspelled Words in English
  4. louixo

    A brilliant plan.

    Holy poo poo Batman! When I was sent the original piece, quotes and all, I never thought it would be accepted in any way other than the humor that it was intended to be. I never imagined it would be cleverly hijacked to vent one's own view of anything. I'd seen those quotes attributed to Lincoln...
  5. louixo

    Vasectomy

    A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her...
  6. louixo

    A brilliant plan.

    Part I ....... (This is absolutely brilliant!) A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men. B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women. C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies. D. In three generations, there will be...
  7. louixo

    Italian Grandma's advice.

    A young Italian girl was going on a date. Her Nonna said: 'Sita here ana letame tella you about this- a younga boy. He's agonna try ana kiss you, you are agonna likea dat, but don't let him do dat. He's agonna try ana kiss your breasts, you are agonna likeadat too, but don'ta let him do...
  8. louixo

    Why sharks circle before attacking.

    Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fin showing." And they did. "Well done, son...
  9. louixo

    Japanese Ingenuuity

    It's in Japanese, but has subtitles. I want one! Man invents machine to convert plastic into oil - YouTube
  10. louixo

    Marriage is sharing everything

    The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink. He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front...
  11. louixo

    $20

    There are female jokes and there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hope that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it! A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her...
  12. louixo

    My first condom

    I recall my first time with a condom. I was 14. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at Parchen's pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the young lady (I think her name was Nola) knew...
  13. louixo

    Rules of engagement.

    Maverick....i think you're seeing something that is not there...it's just humor...nothing political implied or meant.
  14. louixo

    Murphy's Law Updates

    Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal...
  15. louixo

    Rules of engagement.

    Marine Corps Rules: 1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. 2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough. 3. Have a plan. 4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work. 5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. 6...
  16. louixo

    The Jewish Samurai

    Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai . After a year, only three applied for the job: a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish Samurai. "Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor. The Japanese samurai Chopwak, stepped forward...
  17. louixo

    What a great idea!

    A broadcaster speaking in Auckland, says, "I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Auckland. I think it should be the goal of every NZ'er to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus the mosque should be allowed, in an effort to...
  18. louixo

    Hamburgers again

    I have a friend who manages several Mcdonalds in New York city. Where I live Mcdonalds had a long ongoing promotion for combo's, A diffents one each day of the week at a special price. One day I asked him why you couldn't exchange what the combo of the day was for another combo if it wasn't to...
  19. louixo

    A Male Fairy Tale

    Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?" The Princess said, "No!!!" And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated long-legged well endowed cheerleaders, hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and drank whiskey...
  20. louixo

    GamblingThe Royal Marine Way

    Recently a 42 Commando Royal Marine Recce Troop captured a Taliban leader in Afghanistan and took him to a warehouse where they gave him one dice. The Sergeant says "Roll the die and if you get a 1 2 3 4 or 5 your head comes off''. The Taliban Leader asks ''What if I throw a 6?'' The...
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