What would you do??

[letzrockexpress]

What? Is that susposed to be funny? It is not. In fact, it makes NO sense. That was just plain silly Rocket. You are slipping. Excuse me for posting things that MIGHT just help her out.

Of course it doesn't make sense to you. Why would it? I quit trying to make sense to you a long time ago, and just because you don't think it's funny doesn't mean it isn't...

 

[Jenny]

Well I am sorry that I asked for the opinion of what others would have done in this situation, Not to have been made to feel like I did something wrong. Thats half of the reason why I have never posted much on here before because the rediulous amounts of critism that comes from others. Sorry for trying to make myself feel safer.
Thank you to those who provided me with advice and actually understand what I am going through and what I am trying to say.

 

[Turtle]

Men are what they are, that's the way it is. Whether you're wearing t shirts and tank tops, jeans, or capris, or even a burlap bag, men are gonna look. That's what we do. If you're that uncomfortable with it, then it's probably not best to hang out at places where there are a lot of men... like, oh, I dunno, a truck stop.

What a jack-*** thing to say!

Well, it may very well be a jack-*** thing to say, but it's the stone cold truth just the same. Sorry. Men are pigs, and no matter what you may believe, you're not going to change that, so like Dave said, it's probably better to focus on how you choose to react to it rather than trying to change the masses.

Is it possible for you to make any more excuses for the actions of your fellow man?

Well, gee, I dunno. I haven't made any excuses yet, but if you like I can probably come up with a few.

If you don't know where "the line" is, maybe you're more a part of the problem than you are a part of the solution.

You would do well to be very careful of what you accuse me of doing.

And then to top that off..... It's HER problem because she DARES to "hang out" in a truck stop?

You would also do very well to be extraordinarily careful in your interpretation of what I say. I am very exacting with my words and I mean precisely what I say. I did not say that anything was her fault, so be very careful what words you choose to put into my mouth. If you go visit the Midget Retirement Home, you'd better be prepared to deal with a bunch of old midgets. If you go to a truck stop, you'd better be prepared to deal with the men who frequent truck stops. I cannot make it any plainer than that. Even you should be able to grasp the meaning.

You're joking, right?

I often joke about many things, but not in this thread about this subject.

As to the first quote....there are MANY women, who FOR YEARS, have endured this and far worse, and remained at their work place. Most have no choice. Why should SHE be the one to leave? Why is SHE expected to make the adjustment?

Well, sexual harassment in the workplace is not good under any circumstances. As for "most" having no choice, that's something I would disagree with. Some don't, and some can't deal with it, not that they should have to, but it happens when you mix the sexes in the workplace. Just the same, I have seen too many women stop sexual harassment dead in its tracks.

As for "SHE" being expected to leave, I wasn't aware that Jenny worked in a truck stop. A public truck stop is not the same as a workplace unless you work at the truckstop. If you don't believe me, get harassed at the fuel island by another trucker and see how far your lawsuit against the truckstop goes.

As for who needs to make the adjustment, SHE or everyone else at the truckstop, get real, go to the Midget Retirement Home and try to get rid of all the old little people and replace them with young, tall people. Good luck with that. You need accept things for what they already are, and deal with it accordingly, rather than trying to make it into what you want it to be. Truckstops are by and large seedy places, and they will likely always be seedy places, no matter how much you wish they weren't.

As for the rest of it..."boys will be boys" doesn't cut it anymore. Grow up, "it's just what we do" is unacceptable.

It may not cut it, and you may not find it acceptable, but it is, nonetheless, a fact of life. It's no different than YOU believing YOU have the RIGHT and the POWER to tell me to "grow up" or that what I have to say is a "jack-*** thing to say". Clearly, men do not hold a monopoly on being rude.

This is what I've witnessed in my life.....the same men that do the cat-calling, the stare downs, and the other idiotic comments, are the same ones, who when they're with their WIVES, will hardly make eye contact with another female. This is how "Johnny" acts when Mama has his testicles in her purse! Point being, it isn't that he doesn't KNOW how to act, it's that he CHOOSES to act improperly when not on Mama's leash.

Another good example of a fact of life.

Too many men just don't get it. Jenny comes in here and asks advice, and for the most part, she gets good stuff. Then comes a couple that want to victimize her all over again....you see, this is what happens to the woman far too many times, even in this day and age.

Actually, my advice was to take charge of the situation and deal with it, rather than be a victim. It astounds me (well, OK, not really) that you failed to comprehend that.

Maybe a couple of you knuckle-draggers still think that rape is the woman's fault as well?

Well, aren't you just the bestest Drama Queen, ever! No one here, least of all me, is condoning or excusing the actions of immature and rude men. But it's pure fantasy to think that men will think and act like you want them to just because you want them to.

I realize it's not safe to assume anything but I'm going to step out on a limb here and guess that the negatives are solo drivers who's wives are not with them out here on the road and have never had to watch THEIR women "deal" with what Jenny's dealing with.

I dunno, could be. One thing I do know for sure is that a woman will always act exactly the same whether she's with her man or whether he's nowhere to be found. <snort>

 

[OntarioVanMan]

Well I am sorry that I asked for the opinion of what others would have done in this situation, Not to have been made to feel like I did something wrong. Thats half of the reason why I have never posted much on here before because the rediulous amounts of critism that comes from others. Sorry for trying to make myself feel safer.
Thank you to those who provided me with advice and actually understand what I am going through and what I am trying to say.

Hope I didn't contribute to the negative and ridiculous...

I was just commenting on the way it is....at times it isn't nice.
It is too bad there are still ignorant guys out there that will utter out dirty little comments...and very bluntly stare...
Maybe an understanding with nick if he gets a blank text message from you...it means help? That way you don't have to type the words and save a few seconds....

And ya did the right thing and did absolutely nothing wrong!

 

[moose]

Howdy folks.

The truck stop where this particular incident happened was the Pilot at exit 5 on I23 in MI. This wasn't the first time something has happened there, but I can guarantee you it is the last time we will stop there. .

O'hhh , you hit a nerve here .
this is a bad place to begin with.
i have visited that place twice in the last few years.
first visit resulted with a 911 call .last year.
second one , only some 10 days ago with a call to the Pilot 1800 # , complaining about the store manger , and one preticular Employee , and I made a lot , and i mean a lot of noise , while in their store , making sure they will not treat anyone else they way they treated me ,
I will never ever visit that place again , and encourage everyone else to do the same ~!
i will not tolerate this kind of behavior , at any TS , and the few times that i'm witnessing this , i'm doing my best , to make sure they will hire a gourd before my next visit .

BTW , did you call 911 ?
or the corp. office ?
or do you expect them to fix the TS for you ?

BTW ,the pilot in TX @ exit 0 , used to be the same , gusee what , now they have 2 gourds on duty , scaring Mexicans & other animals away , & yes i made the same calls , some years ago , apparently , i wasn't the only one.

you can make a different , if you choose to .

 

[dieseldiva]

Obviously there are some here that will never "get it", why waste the time and effort that it takes to respond to each individually. I'm not sure what decade some live in and I don't want to find out. To those I'll say, do not forget the old saying that "what goes around, comes around"......someday, somewhere, someone you care about will be treated in the manner described in this thread and you'll be made to rethink your positions.

"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." – Edmund Burke​

 

[Turtle]

There aren't any positions to rethink. No one here, far as I can tell, has taken the position of condoning or excusing bad behavior. The fact that it is unacceptable and inexcusable is irrelevant to the fact that it will happen. So, the focus needs to be on how you deal with it, and how to protect yourself and minimize the risk of the likelihood of it occurring. If you don't want to get wet, don't go out in the rain. If you don't want to get attacked or raped, don't walk alone in a bad neighborhood late at night. If you have a problem with men at truck stops, the logical thing to do is minimize your time at truck stops, because the chances of you changing all the men at all the truck stops is zero, no matter how badly you wish they would change how they think and how they act. This is not a case of someone not "getting it", this is a case of real life and how you deal with it.

I don't know what it was that someone did to you or to someone very close to you that made you so bitter, but it's a shame that it happened. Yes, women should be able to go about their business without being harassed. It's unacceptable and inexcusable when it happens. But it's also just as unacceptable and inexcusable to assume that all men are out to do you harm. I man looking in your window and then knocking on the window may mean something bad. It also might mean that he's just looking for someone to have some company with over a cup of coffee, or he may be simply wanting to ask you about expediting. When I have my windows covered and I'm asleep in the van, I don't want to be bothered, yet people knock on the windows and doors all the time. Is that harassment? Should I call 911 when it happens.

 

[jujubeans]

There aren't any positions to rethink. No one here, far as I can tell, has taken the position of condoning or excusing bad behavior. The fact that it is unacceptable and inexcusable is irrelevant to the fact that it will happen. So, the focus needs to be on how you deal with it, and how to protect yourself and minimize the risk of the likelihood of it occurring. If you don't want to get wet, don't go out in the rain. If you don't want to get attacked or raped, don't walk alone in a bad neighborhood late at night. If you have a problem with men at truck stops, the logical thing to do is minimize your time at truck stops, because the chances of you changing all the men at all the truck stops is zero, no matter how badly you wish they would change how they think and how they act. This is not a case of someone not "getting it", this is a case of real life and how you deal with it.

I don't know what it was that someone did to you or to someone very close to you that made you so bitter, but it's a shame that it happened. Yes, women should be able to go about their business without being harassed. It's unacceptable and inexcusable when it happens. But it's also just as unacceptable and inexcusable to assume that all men are out to do you harm. I man looking in your window and then knocking on the window may mean something bad. It also might mean that he's just looking for someone to have some company with over a cup of coffee, or he may be simply wanting to ask you about expediting. When I have my windows covered and I'm asleep in the van, I don't want to be bothered, yet people knock on the windows and doors all the time. Is that harassment? Should I call 911 when it happens.

Don'tcha dare Turtle..you know us ladies is just dying to ketch ya nekkid...*LOL*

 

[cheri1122]

Jenny: I feel bad that you were frightened, and worse that you feel some here weren't terribly understanding regarding the fear - it's real, I know.
But by the same token, [maybe because I haven't got anyone to 'protect' me], I think that how you deal with it is, as Turtle says, your choice. Be aware of your surroundings, be ready to protect yourself, but if you 'live scared', then you've given control to the lowlifes, IMO.
In the years I've been alone, [t/t, cargo van, and s/t], I've never once felt endangered by men [except the rotten drivers!]. I don't think twice about getting out of the truck after dark, or going alone to the rest room [wouldn't be able to go at all if I did, lol]. Perhaps it's foolhardy of me, but I just REFUSE to let the bad guys control my life to that extent.
I hope it offers some comfort to you, to know that there many women who expedite solo, and I seriously doubt that we're any tougher than you are - we just do what needs done, and we ignore the jerks who would make it unpleasant, letting them know nonverbally that we don't want to be messed with.
Not trying to downplay the aggravation, or the fear factor, but it's a lot easier when you decide that YOU are in control, not the knuckle draggers or the creeps. It would be good if men could stop being pigs, but all we can control is our own behavior, sigh.

 

[jujubeans]

Yeppers Cherri...betcha you just give them that one fingered salute and they get the message??

 

[wellarmed]

The shelled one can be quite harsh but (hanging my head in shame) I would have to agree,though would think he wouldn't be as harsh with a women as he is with me. I would also like to take this time to point out that his posts are beginning to look very similar to his mentors. (broken up and quoting every sentence) You have learned well grasshopper!!

 

[cheri1122]

Yeppers Cherri...betcha you just give them that one fingered salute and they get the message??

No, that's reserved for family and close friends, lol.
Either I'm too old and unattractive to catch their interest, or my entire demeanor says "back off" - I know which scenario I choose to believe

 

[wellarmed]

What? Is that supposed to be funny? It is not. In fact, it makes NO sense. That was just plain silly Rocket. You are slipping. Excuse me for posting things that MIGHT just help her out.

OVM took the bug spray joke much better. I think he was just trying to show a more lighter side with you outside of the soapbox, of course that is just my opinion and we know where those get me.

 

[jujubeans]

No, that's reserved for family and close friends, lol.
Either I'm too old and unattractive to catch their interest, or my entire demeanor says "back off" - I know which scenario I choose to believe

You're a tough cookie gf..and nope...I've seen your picture and you sure wouldn't crack any mirrors!

 

[cheri1122]

You're a tough cookie gf..and nope...I've seen your picture and you sure wouldn't crack any mirrors!

Aaah, but I have broken a few mirrors, only I blame that on being a klutz. See? It's all about how you decide to see things, lol.

 

[Turtle]

The shelled one can be quite harsh but (hanging my head in shame) I would have to agree,though would think he wouldn't be as harsh with a women as he is with me. I would also like to take this time to point out that his posts are beginning to look very similar to his mentors. (broken up and quoting every sentence) You have learned well grasshopper!!

Grasshopper? Puhleze. If you go back and look at some of my earliest posts, you'll see that I practically invented the quoted breakups (actually, the technique is a long-time Usenet method of breaking down exactly what you are replying to). It drives a few folks absolutely nuts. hehe

As for me being harsh with you, hey, what happens in Sprinter stays in Sprinter.

I am glad Cheri finally chimed in, since she was one I had in mind during my posts here. She's 90 pounds of nothing, wouldn't crack a mirror if she threw it, but won't take crap off nobody, least of all some heathen trucker who can't mind his manners.

 

[cheri1122]

LMAO [and 'doing that floor thing' as Moot says]
You're right about the mirror, though - I have thrown a few, and neither my arm nor my aim is worth a dam....
I just hope Jenny understands what I mean: don't let them ruin your day, whomever 'they' are!

 

[cheri1122]

Turtle's comments made me laugh so hard that I forgot about a point I wanted to make: the part where Jenny was hiding the phone while texting for help - wouldn't it be better to make it obvious that help was coming, you think?
I've always thought so, and figured I'd grab the CB mike, [and hope they don't notice that it's not even on] or the cellphone in an effort to scare someone off if the situation called for it, and it wasn't really a clear enough threat to hit the horn & lights.
Attention is exactly what folks with bad intentions don't want, right?

 

[Wingnut]

Howdy folks. Just wanted to clear a few things up about Jenny and I.

First of all we use truck stops because of the fuel discounts, shower credits, occasionally getting to meet another expediter/van driver. When we do go to a truck stop we fuel, use the restrooms if they are clean and buy a drink, maybe a snack. We don't hang out in the TS, usually eat in there maybe once a month. We don't sit in the TV room, game room or even do our laundry there. So Jenny and I just don't hang out there.

The picture of Jenny's avatar is her. She is an attractive young lady. Its a shame that pretty much when we go to a TS she has to put up with all the things she was saying. Trust me there have been plenty of times where I was about to go fully off on some jacka**. Not all the TS's are like that. Some we do spend a little time at them, but these are few and far in between. Most of our time is spent at a Wal-Mart, parks, book stores or malls. Some places we will get a room for a night or weekend to get away from the TS, I don't mind spending that money to get away from the Idiocracy of the TS's .

Just an example, for both of us to even go to the bathroom, I take Jenny inside and wait, when she is done I take her back out to the truck and then I go inside. I just can't trust many people these days. As far as telling her deal with it, she has accepted some of the crap out here, but some stuff she shouldn't have to. We have met some real nice older truckers out here, but is seems like a lot of the middle aged guys out here are the ones we have problems with. Seems like most think they are still 18 and are god's gift to every woman out there. The old saying that a guy is a "gentleman" just doesn't seem to apply anymore these days.

I am not out playing king protector here, but at the same time I am not going to let things happen to the woman I love. All of you that say deal with it, think about this, what if it was your wife, g/f, fiancee, daughter or mother that had to deal with these kinds of things on a daily basis. Would you just sit there and tell them to deal with it or would you actually try to do something about it. I guess its easy to shell out advise when you haven't experienced things like we have.

The truck stop where this particular incident happened was the Pilot at exit 5 on I23 in MI. This wasn't the first time something has happened there, but I can guarantee you it is the last time we will stop there. By the time I got Jenny's "HELP" text, came out of the bathroom and went outside the guy was gone. But she described him to me and I do remember seeing him inside.


Now that I have said my piece, ya'll have a good day.

Well said Nick. I not only commend you in the way you handled your statement here but also for the way you defend Jenny in all walks of your life together. Too bad more guys can't be more like you. You are awesome.

 

[Wingnut]

Well, it may very well be a jack-*** thing to say, but it's the stone cold truth just the same. Sorry. Men are pigs, and no matter what you may believe, you're not going to change that, so like Dave said, it's probably better to focus on how you choose to react to it rather than trying to change the masses.

Well, gee, I dunno. I haven't made any excuses yet, but if you like I can probably come up with a few.

You would do well to be very careful of what you accuse me of doing.

You would also do very well to be extraordinarily careful in your interpretation of what I say. I am very exacting with my words and I mean precisely what I say. I did not say that anything was her fault, so be very careful what words you choose to put into my mouth. If you go visit the Midget Retirement Home, you'd better be prepared to deal with a bunch of old midgets. If you go to a truck stop, you'd better be prepared to deal with the men who frequent truck stops. I cannot make it any plainer than that. Even you should be able to grasp the meaning.

I often joke about many things, but not in this thread about this subject.


Well, sexual harassment in the workplace is not good under any circumstances. As for "most" having no choice, that's something I would disagree with. Some don't, and some can't deal with it, not that they should have to, but it happens when you mix the sexes in the workplace. Just the same, I have seen too many women stop sexual harassment dead in its tracks.

As for "SHE" being expected to leave, I wasn't aware that Jenny worked in a truck stop. A public truck stop is not the same as a workplace unless you work at the truckstop. If you don't believe me, get harassed at the fuel island by another trucker and see how far your lawsuit against the truckstop goes.

As for who needs to make the adjustment, SHE or everyone else at the truckstop, get real, go to the Midget Retirement Home and try to get rid of all the old little people and replace them with young, tall people. Good luck with that. You need accept things for what they already are, and deal with it accordingly, rather than trying to make it into what you want it to be. Truckstops are by and large seedy places, and they will likely always be seedy places, no matter how much you wish they weren't.

It may not cut it, and you may not find it acceptable, but it is, nonetheless, a fact of life. It's no different than YOU believing YOU have the RIGHT and the POWER to tell me to "grow up" or that what I have to say is a "jack-*** thing to say". Clearly, men do not hold a monopoly on being rude.

Another good example of a fact of life.

Actually, my advice was to take charge of the situation and deal with it, rather than be a victim. It astounds me (well, OK, not really) that you failed to comprehend that.

Well, aren't you just the bestest Drama Queen, ever! No one here, least of all me, is condoning or excusing the actions of immature and rude men. But it's pure fantasy to think that men will think and act like you want them to just because you want them to.

I dunno, could be. One thing I do know for sure is that a woman will always act exactly the same whether she's with her man or whether he's nowhere to be found. <snort>

I really like your posts TURTLE but be careful about derogatory stuff....like your "......Midget retirement home...." stuff. Some of us shorter people might take offense to it. I, personally, do not but I'm sure there are people out there who will.