What would you do??

[moose]

I don't think Jenny came here for advice ,
she had an observation to make ,
and said she is dealing with it well .
only she said it was a daily occurred .
first time I herd of it ,
and i found it hard to believe ,
maybe i was wrong ,
but ,
with like 6% or so of truckers are women ,
i can only assumed that i would hear that claim , or something remotely close, before.

in the Politically-correct world we live in , asking those kind of questions , can get somewhat problematic .
if you don't egnolage it - then you must be a predator .

(same goe's to that statement , that if you have a gold fish then you must be gay )

the fact is that Jenny , in her posts , painted the trucking environment very bad , mach worse then what i know it to be .
and by far worst then what the Women in trucking activists are saying .

this is going well with hot items like the Feds saying they are looking for a serial killer within the trucking industry , going on fox news , and telling how EZ it is for a killer to hide among truckers - suddenly ,as far as average Joe is concern , every trucker is a potential killer .
last time i checked , we are talking on a public forum .

But ,
if you are correct , and Jenny did came here for advice ,
then my advice for her will be :
to fight it, make a change ,& get involved .
a great place to start is :

Women in Trucking Association

you can make a different , if you choose to .
i'm sure glad , i don't need to deal with it "on a daily basic",
but if i was , i would have made a lot of noise about it .

 

[greg334]

Wow Diva....

Jenny,
I told my wife this;

If she is ever in the situation where she feels stalked, use any means to attract attention and get others involved. Don't hesitate to call the cops, it is far better to explain why you called and deal with the cops than to end up being physically assaulted.

In your case, she would have used the horn, yelled and tried to get someone there to help here. Don't ignore the situation, react to it and react in such a way as to show you mean to be left alone.

In many of the truck stops it is not the nicest place, I have said for a long time trucking has become the dregs of society because of the drivers who are hired to fill the seat and move the truck. But there are a great many good people there who will step up. I believe that many will get involved because of the instinct of being a father or brother and step in when there is a problem but it take the person to show there is a problem, silence doesn't always work.

ALWAYS be aware of your surroundings.

 

[Jenny]

Don't get me wrong, I love what I do. I have been out here for over a year. My mom and dad are expediters as well, she has been out here since 2005, and my dad since 1996. She warned me that it wasnt going to be roses and sunshine and I knew that coming into it. I accepted that. I have been so many places and seen so many things that people never get to in their lifetimes.

I just wanted to make it a point to let people know what I go through, maybe get someone who is too afraid to say something to step up to the plate, and let those that arent out here yet know that its not for the faint of heart.

I know that I am cautious and watch my self and my surroundings. I know where its safe to get out of the van myself and where its not. I appreciate your input and your thoughts and I am sorry if I came across in the wrong way that was not my intent.

 

[wellarmed]

Just a quick question. Why if a person or persons are in a van or sprinter would they choose to frequent truck stops. Everything is accessible in that type of vehicle.

There is nothing I can think of at a truck stop that can't be purchased else where at a savings.

I'm not trying to sound like one of those so called knuckle dragger's but If your avatar is a picture of you I would think anywhere you go they are going to look, please don't take this the wrong way, it's just a fact.

 

[letzrockexpress]

I like the idea of sounding the horn. Another thing to do if you have a camera phone is to snap their picture.

Yeah, then she would have a picture of you...

 

[dieseldiva]

Just a quick question. Why if a person or persons are in a van or sprinter would they choose to frequent truck stops. Everything is accessible in that type of vehicle.

There is nothing I can think of at a truck stop that can't be purchased else where at a savings.

I'm not trying to sound like one of those so called knuckle dragger's but If your avatar is a picture of you I would think anywhere you go they are going to look, please don't take this the wrong way, it's just a fact.

Just speculating....fuel discounts and shower points??

 

[Jenny]

Just speculating....fuel discounts and shower points??

Exact reasons.

 

[wellarmed]

Your probably right but I would have thought the savings elsewhere would far exceed the perks allowing to pay cash for showers and also create another deduction. I've noticed getting away from the interstate gas and fuel prices can be much cheaper.

 

[xiggi]

Just speculating....fuel discounts and shower points??

I am in a sprinter and like truck stops. Just because we come to them does not keep us from shopping elsewhere. I like meeting other drivers and you meet more of them at a ts. I also feel a little out of place sitting at wally world for a day or two.

 

[dieseldiva]

Your probably right but I would have thought the savings elsewhere would far exceed the perks allowing to pay cash for showers and also create another deduction. I've noticed getting away from the interstate gas and fuel prices can be much cheaper.

Careful there, wellarmed.....the more you post in this thread, the more you're sounding like your solution is to not frequent places where one might be exposed (no pun intended) to the men that act in a less than polite way.

 

[wellarmed]

Careful there, wellarmed.....the more you post in this thread, the more you're sounding like your solution is to not frequent places where one might be exposed (no pun intended) to the men that act in a less than polite way.

Noooo, I do not keep a low profile and thought that was obvious,LOL, I do shop away from ts's and sometimes hang out at WalMart. I just thought since Jenny pointed out that she felt this was an everyday occurrence she may give a little thought to some other options. As for myself, I've been on my own since I was thirteen and have street smarts and can handle myself very well. I have made many Friends out here though I'm sure I've been the topic of a few PM's due to my direct,honest and sometimes seemingly heartless approach, I am a decent fun loving person and if we were to ever meet I think you would agree.

 

[The Enemy]

Howdy folks. Just wanted to clear a few things up about Jenny and I.

First of all we use truck stops because of the fuel discounts, shower credits, occasionally getting to meet another expediter/van driver. When we do go to a truck stop we fuel, use the restrooms if they are clean and buy a drink, maybe a snack. We don't hang out in the TS, usually eat in there maybe once a month. We don't sit in the TV room, game room or even do our laundry there. So Jenny and I just don't hang out there.

The picture of Jenny's avatar is her. She is an attractive young lady. Its a shame that pretty much when we go to a TS she has to put up with all the things she was saying. Trust me there have been plenty of times where I was about to go fully off on some jacka**. Not all the TS's are like that. Some we do spend a little time at them, but these are few and far in between. Most of our time is spent at a Wal-Mart, parks, book stores or malls. Some places we will get a room for a night or weekend to get away from the TS, I don't mind spending that money to get away from the Idiocracy of the TS's .

Just an example, for both of us to even go to the bathroom, I take Jenny inside and wait, when she is done I take her back out to the truck and then I go inside. I just can't trust many people these days. As far as telling her deal with it, she has accepted some of the crap out here, but some stuff she shouldn't have to. We have met some real nice older truckers out here, but is seems like a lot of the middle aged guys out here are the ones we have problems with. Seems like most think they are still 18 and are god's gift to every woman out there. The old saying that a guy is a "gentleman" just doesn't seem to apply anymore these days.

I am not out playing king protector here, but at the same time I am not going to let things happen to the woman I love. All of you that say deal with it, think about this, what if it was your wife, g/f, fiancee, daughter or mother that had to deal with these kinds of things on a daily basis. Would you just sit there and tell them to deal with it or would you actually try to do something about it. I guess its easy to shell out advise when you haven't experienced things like we have.

The truck stop where this particular incident happened was the Pilot at exit 5 on I23 in MI. This wasn't the first time something has happened there, but I can guarantee you it is the last time we will stop there. By the time I got Jenny's "HELP" text, came out of the bathroom and went outside the guy was gone. But she described him to me and I do remember seeing him inside.


Now that I have said my piece, ya'll have a good day.

 

[dieseldiva]

I think the BEST solution to this problem is simple. There are businesses where men AND women can go to ogle, make remarks, whistle, or in many cases, get physical with attractive women. The women that work in these establishments have, by working there, given their specific permission to do so.

Why don't these creeps that can't control their urges frequent THESE places and keep their crap away from the rest of us that don't want any part of it? Why isn't THAT option mentioned here, to remove the offender, rather than to suggest that we decent women remove OURSELVES from ignorant men?

Another thing that hasn't been brought up here is that most of the truck stops these days are also "travel centers" where there are many women AND their children.....grandmas and grandpas....people of all walks of life.......are these folks ALSO supposed to remove themselves from the trucking society so as to not be offended? They can't simply fuel their vehicles where they wish without risk of insult? And when they're in these truck stops and they see these things, as I'm sure they do, what impression of the trucking industry must they be getting? Not to mention that they then leave and while driving down the road, see the sign that reads "show me your *****".

When you think about it, trucking is one of the last few places where men can still act this way and not be held accountable for it and as long as you have other men that will defend their brother's bad behavior....that's never going to change.

 

[wellarmed]

Enemy, I would first want to apologize if any of my post were over the edge.(many are) I would say by your post that you have your bases covered. You did mention that you were not trying to be king protector and I'm thinking you just want to be a nice guy and I am sure you are, just don't let your kindness be mistaken for weakness. Truck stops are not good places and can have some aholes but I like to think for any one person looking to do harm, they are way out numbered by the ones that would come to your aid. Have fun and be safe.

 

[wellarmed]

I think the BEST solution to this problem is simple. There are businesses where men AND women can go to ogle, make remarks, whistle, or in many cases, get physical with attractive women. The women that work in these establishments have, by working there, given their specific permission to do so.

Why don't these creeps that can't control their urges frequent THESE places and keep their crap away from the rest of us that don't want any part of it? Why isn't THAT option mentioned here, to remove the offender, rather than to suggest that we decent women remove OURSELVES from ignorant men?

Another thing that hasn't been brought up here is that most of the truck stops these days are also "travel centers" where there are many women AND their children.....grandmas and grandpas....people of all walks of life.......are these folks ALSO supposed to remove themselves from the trucking society so as to not be offended? They can't simply fuel their vehicles where they wish without risk of insult? And when they're in these truck stops and they see these things, as I'm sure they do, what impression of the trucking industry must they be getting? Not to mention that they then leave and while driving down the road, see the sign that reads "show me your *****".

When you think about it, trucking is one of the last few places where men can still act this way and not be held accountable for it and as long as you have other men that will defend their brother's bad behavior....that's never going to change.

I think the real problem is ignorance and negativity stand out more in ones mind more than kindness. I'm not trying to make excuses for dimwitts. It does suck that so few can tarnish the reputation for so many and I like to believe that most expediters set a more positive example for truckers. The wife and I like to think we are not "truckers" but rather we just drive a truck.

 

[The Enemy]

Wellarmed, you didn't make me mad, everyone has their opinion. Most people that have met me will say I am a nice guy, but by no means am I a weak person, or mistaken for being weak. I have been told numerous times that I actually intimidate the person that I meet, just by my appearance. I am also one that didn't grow up in the comfortable and protective suburbia environment. Growing up in the environment I did, I had to learn things the hard way, like getting jumped, beaten and having my bike stolen when I was 11 by a group of older kids. Being out here for over 3 years and before that 5 years of courier service in MI has taught me alot about the road, what to do/ not to do. Where to go/not go. So far I have been able to survive and will for a long long time.

By me saying I don't wan't to be king protector was meant I'm not that ****y guy you see walking around flexing, thinking he's tougher than he really is. I know who I am, know my place in society and yes I will protect her as much and as long as I can.

 

[layoutshooter]

Yeah, then she would have a picture of you...

What? Is that susposed to be funny? It is not. In fact, it makes NO sense. That was just plain silly Rocket. You are slipping. Excuse me for posting things that MIGHT just help her out.

 

[davekc]

I am not sure why anyone is really worried about this type of stuff? There is much worse things to be plagued with. Every business whether trucking all the way to politics, have this element. It is just a matter of how one reacts to it.
That would be the focus rather than attempting to change the masses. One will likely walk away frustrated and disappointed expecting a change.
It is no different than the attractive male rock star that has women fall all over themselves. Well maybe not attractive, I forgot about Micheal Jackson.
Different environments breed different behaviors.
Oh....and to debunk any myths, I have been married for a good while.

 

[OntarioVanMan]

Fact of the matter is this guys oogle thats it..any comments are impolite but guys oogle the same as women and don't tell me they don't catch a tight butt in jeans neither...one of the reason women watch football...heck even JuJu will tell me when she spots a nice butt....*LOL* It is kind of flattery when a mature woman can still attract a few looks...or for that matter a guy too....

oh honey nobody watches me anymore. am i still attractive to you dear...?

Oh honey you are still as attractive as the day I met you...

oh sweetheart..you are such a lair, but I still love you anyhow

 

[davekc]

There you have it. Both look but only one side readily admits it.
Been that way since the beginning.