Bruno is not incorrect, but I would not go so far as to say that if I do not forgive FedEx Custom Critical it will eat at me for years to come. That is because it does not eat at me now, at least most of the time.
When we felt betrayed, cheated by and lied to by FedEx Custom Critical when they purchased reefer trailers and began passing over our truck to put reefer freight on the company-owned trailers, emotions ran high and continued to do so in the weeks following our move to Landstar Express America. In time, however, that subsided. And as more time passed, my interest in anything FedEx Custom Critical faded to almost nothing.
About two years after our carrier change, Diane and I returned to Landstar HQ for some training and the profound contrast between the two companies triggered old memories and revived old emotions.
If there is such a thing as a healthy divorce, it is characterized by a period of emotional intensity followed by an adjustment that comes with time. In time, you move on. But there are also times and events than can revive old thought and feelings and that possibility exists forevermore.
Most people who have been deeply hurt and outraged by a negative negative event of any kind get over it as time passes. They adjust and move on. But that does not mean that memories of the pain and outrage cannot be revived. You can prove this by asking a normally adjusted person who has been through a divorce about his or her ex years after the event. Doing so triggers memories and emotions that are not normally present. These are not things that eat at you. They are just there and can be triggered from time to time.
It has been said, "Forgive and forget."
The forget part I have mostly done. Time has passed. Emotions have calmed. I do not think about our former carrier much these days and when I do it is not with the feeling I once did.
The forgive part is a more interesting topic. From Webster:
Forgive:
1
a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult>
b : to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt>
2
: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon <forgive one's enemies>
Regarding definition one, FedEx Custom Critical owes me nothing. They never did. When I was an independent contractor with them, I expected nothing from them and do not do so today. In that regard, there is nothing to forgive.
Definition two talks about resentment and I will freely admit that there are things about FedEx Custom Critical that I resent.
Now, there are two kinds of resentment. There is the kind you nurse and feed off. That kind of resentment will eat at you. And there is the kind that will sometimes give rise to negative emotions and comments but is less personal and does not eat at you.
An example of the latter is the resentment some truckers have toward the government that imposes HOS rules changes. Another example is the resentment people feel when they read about a priest who abused the children he was entrusted to teach and minister to. Yet another example is the resentment you may feel when you see on the news people in a foreign country burning the American flag. You see something as wrong and it offends your sensibilities.
I am, by nature, an activist. As a child, I put on little carnivals to raise money for charity. In a community, I'm the guy who starts a new drive to supply the food shelf. In politics, I once dedicated ten years of full-time effort to government reform.
Attending Landstar training reminded me of the profound difference between how one carrier treats its contractors compared to another. It triggered my activist impulses and led me to speak out. My comments were not powered by resentment in the first sense, but in the second sense. As I said in the original post:
It does not have to be that way, and I post this to goad the decision makers at our former carrier to think about that. Diane and I are the same human beings and trucking professionals at Landstar as we were at our former carrier. We bring the same skills to the table and do the same work.
There is no good reason on earth why contractors should be treated with the respect and dignity that Landstar so eagerly provides while our former carrier, seemingly by design, withholds the same.
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