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An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test. The human resources manager tells him, 'You will be hired at minimum wage of $6.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so...

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. 'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?' 'Well, to tell you...

tragic news from state up north

DIVORCE COURT Angelina and Giuseppe were standing before the judge in divorce court. Angelina says: "Your honor, we beena marry 25 years ana Giuseppi he always picka his nose ana when we maka love he a never letsa me on topa. I justa canna taka dis nomore." The judge...

The Global Facts.. At Any Given Moment: Fact: 79,000,000 people are engaged in intercourse right now. Fact: 58,000,000 are kissing. Fact: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex ... Fact: 1 lonely bugger is reading emails... - You hang in there sunshine!

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex..... #10... A below par performance Is considered **** good. #9... You can stop in the middle And have a cheeseburger And a couple of beers. #8.. It's much easier to Find the sweet spot. #7... Foursomes are encouraged. #6...

Dear Santa, Please send me a baby brother . Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother..."

From way back it has long been thought that the game of golf originated in Scotland in the 15th century. Recently uncovered evidence indicates that this sport actually began in eastern Europe and for many years was enjoyed by the Jews of the area. Stories passed down from generation to...

now this would make a b unit

This idea sounds just crazy enough to possibly work, so naturally it won't be given serious consideration. How great is our bureaucracy!! I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. In stead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend. To make...

Childbirth at 65 This is why we are not supposed to have children when we get older……… Childbirth at 65 Too good not to pass on, Enjoy !!! With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged...

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, 'What seems to be the problem?' 'I'm out of gas,' the man replied. The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm...

Franklin Delano. Roosevelt > 32nd. President, Democrat > Terms of Office March 4, 1933, to April 12, 1945 a Democrat, introduced the > Social Security (FICA) Program. He promised: > > 1.) That participation in the Program > would be completely voluntary, > > 2.) That the participants would only...

Makes Me Go "Hmmm" ... As you watch the flooding in the Midwest , have you noticed that there are no farmers running around with stolen plasma TVs or holding stolen liquor over their heads. There's no looting or yelling "Where's Bush?", "Where's FEMA?, Where's my check?", or...

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district. Spellings have been left intact. 1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. 2. Please exkuce lisa for being...

The Banana Test There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee,a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer...

OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel. OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel. Solution: Sell our grain for $136.00 a bushel. Can't buy it? Tough! Eat your oil! Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel Butt!!!

Well heading out the door,Going Salem Oh,Quaker City Dragway,going try supplement my income,my new word,learned it yesturday,while applying for medicare,told i should get a supplemental health carrier,so i m heading out the door,Going to race my pride and joy ! win and 6 runner ups,maybe get...