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One day, while walking to the store, I passed by a nursing home. On the front lawn were six old ladies lying naked on the grass. I thought this was a bit unusual, but continued on my way to the store. On my return trip, I passed the same nursing home with the same six old ladies lying naked on...

The Mrs. was watching a cooking show the other day. I said, "What are you watching that for? You can't cook." She said, "You watch porn."

dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you...

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut andStormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to...

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Rob’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site...

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat, in Lake Miona, fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, "I think I'm gonna divorce Linda Sue - she ain't spoke to me in over 2 months." Earl spits, sips his beer and says, "Better think it over... women like...

American Association for Retired People Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Q:Where can menover the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them? A:Try a bookstore, under fiction. Q:What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause...

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Angelina Jolie...

> > Arthur is 90 years old. > > > > > > He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. > > One day he arrives home looking downcast. > > > > "That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight > > has got so bad. Once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."...

2011 GM Car

Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness And kindness. One afternoon, the pastor Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she...

A successful Rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was avery good-looking woman anddetermined to keep the Ranch, but knew verylittle about Ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper, for a Ranch-Hand. Two Cowboys applied for the...

A woman meets an attractive man in a bar and asks him what he is drinking. Magic Beer, he says. She thinks he's a little crazy so she walks around the bar but after realizing there's no one else worth talking to, she goes back to the guy and asks, That isn't really Magic Beer, is it? Yes it...

Subj: Fw: Fwd: New Years Thoughts for a Wandering Mind -- I had amnesia once -- maybe twice. -- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were catholic. -- I am neither for nor against apathy. -- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. -- If the world were...

Did you know... that the words "race car" spelled backward still spells "race car?" Did you know... that "eat" is the only word that, if you take the 1st letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense, "ate?" And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal...

Ten Thoughts to Ponder Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .. Number 7 Give a person a fish and you...

Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase, "You Gotta Be Shlttin Me"? Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of Our Country, way back when Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops. There were 33 (remember this number) in...

--my elbow and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear. "Just relax." Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my...

Tyrone applied for a fork lift operator jobat a famous firm based in Detroit. A white man applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in...