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1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed. 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away. 3...

Read to the end.... One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He...

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me. 4. How come we choose from just two people to run...

Terryandrene...Everyone should see that one...very moving.

Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it? Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? Did you see/hear any of the judge's comments on TV/Radio? Didn't think so. Everyone should hear what the judge had to say. Ruling by...

GOOD A Richardson, TX policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem- a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a...

HOW THE D-DAY INVASION WOULD BE REPORTED BY TODAY'S LIBERAL PRESS: June 6, 1944: NORMANDY- Three hundred French civilians were killed and thousands more wounded today in the first hours of America's invasion of continental Europe. Casualties were heaviest among women and children. Most of...

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I had amnesia once -- maybe twice. I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. I'd give...

We in the United States have all heard the haunting song, "Taps." It's the song that gives us that lump in our throats and usually Tears in our eyes. But, do you know the story behind the song? If not, I think you will be interested to find out about its humble beginnings. Reportedly...

Many years ago there was a movie and a song by the title name of this topic. Though this may not be of the same vinatage, I hope it entertains you. 1. Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. 2. Good...

I don´t know who thinks these things up, but they are something to look at. I´d like to have a huge print of this one on my wall at home.Take a look. http://www.cs.toronto.edu/~moraes/illusion.html

This was sent to me and is pretty funny. It takes longer than normal to download, and if thier server is full you can buy the download. Don´t do that, as all you need to do is try again later. If you have the time it should be a giggle for you. http://www.jibjab.com/thisland.html

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6,9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied." "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the...

Lawrence...funny stuff!....I´m forwarding it....thanks..

I forgot to add, that I hope that each one of those "martyrs" get thier 72 virgins......and that they are gay, ugly, and angry!

For good or ill, the Iraqi prisoner abuse mess will remain an issue. On the one hand, right thinking Americans will abhor the stupidity of the actions while on the other hand, political glee will take control and fashion this minor event into some modern day My Lai massacre. I heard some Arabs...

Are you tired of all those sissy "friendship" poems and messages that you recieve form friends, aquaintances and loved ones that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speak to true friendship from me: 1. When you are sad - I...

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He stopped smoking and porno magazines in...

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Cole Hann shoes, Oakley sunglasses and DK tie, leans out the window and asks the shepherd: "If I tell you exactly how many sheep...

I was talking with a friend who left trucking about 5 years ago, after 20 odd years as a long haul o&o to do something else. It hasn´t worked out for him, so he wants to get back into OTR trucking. He was telling me that he has applied to several companies, and is being turned down for not...