WHY can't I think of anything positive?
Maybe you can build on these negative mottos for the expedite saying:
(God what people will do for that toy van!)
...These were the mottos in my head for FedEx CC when I ran for them..
"We Complicate the Uncomplicated"
"Don't Expect Much, and You Won't Be Disappointed"
"Over Hill, Over Dale, and Every Garbage Pail"