Why Are So Many Van Expediters Serial Killers?

[iheartfaye]

Okay, maybe my fellow van expediters are not really all serial killers, but come on.....

I find my van pretty comfortable. It is just a Chevy 3500 Extended that I have customized, but I have plenty to keep me busy inside. Later on today, I will be in the back watching the Dickies 500 on tv, and after that spend some more time on the internet or maybe throw in a dvd.

There are even things called books that you can read for enjoyment or to learn about a topic.

Why then, without fail, do I pull into one truckstop after another where my fellow vanners are sitting in their driver's seat from sunup to sundown? It is just flat out creepy. Not just a little creepy, but a lot creepy. Does van expediting appeal deep down to some stalking gene?

I guess I cannot even narrow it down to my fellow vanners. Last week in Dallas, a straight truck with a decent sized sleeper unit parked in the rv section (taking up 2 spots) and both drivers sat in the front the entire day just staring out the window. Doubly creepy.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think this is really strange? There are often times that I am glad that I am self-contained in my van. I don't have to leave it for days if I don't want. When I am surrounded by these front seat zombies I wonder which one is going to bolt from their truck when they see me venture outside and start sucking out my brain for a mid-day snack.

Hey, just wondering!

 

[60MPH]

we're all just watching you!!!LOL but on a real note I am in a van I sit in the front seat because my bed is behind me and I get tired of laying down, but I have plenty of things to do in here like ps2,computer,tv and magazines or just plain old paper work.

MI CASA IS MI VAN
60MPH ALL DAY-EVERY DAY

 

[Lawrence]

Brian,

That is just to funny! I love the part about "front seat zombies".
So true.

Lawrence,
Expediters Online.com

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[iheartfaye]

60MPH,

Yeah, I can see your point. If your bed has a bulkhead seperating it from the cargo area then you are pretty restricted. I have a permenant bunk also, but I left the bulkhead open so I can spend my time in the back and have 4' by 8' to lounge in.

Even still, the zombies creep the heck out of me.

 

[60MPH]

yea I love my bulkhead in here but it only leaves me a 30" living area I sometimes wish "when I sit for more than a couple of hours" I had not built the bulkhead but, oh well whats done is done

60MPH ALL DAY-EVERY DAY

 

[x06col]

What is interesting to me is, I don't understand why, if, you are going to be a seat zombie, why, do it at a truck stop where there is limited reasons to zombie. Maybe those do look like freaks, child molesters or something and get run out of desirable places to be. Dunno

 

[bamamule]

bamamule

hey Brian,

your point is well taken on this, but ,maybe there co -driver broke wind in the back ....it has to air out....that does happen....or they need shower....and they are low on funds...whatever, the case it seems creepy to us to...

 

[Moot]

I can't speak for all expediting serial killers, only myself. I chose a white cargo van because it offers more room than a car. Ever try to lug a 300 pound stiff from the trunk of a Ford Escort? Or lift one 4 feet into the back of a truck? Oh sure, one could always add a liftgate and reap the extra profits. But trucks stick out like a sore thumb!

Remember Johnny Lee Malvo the Maryland sniper. His vehicle of choice was a nondescript sedan with a custom sniper's nest. Yet after every attack several witnesses reported seeing a white van leaving the scene. Why, because white vans are abundant. Just look at any truck stop parking lot.

As for the zombie issue. I spend enough time as a zombie in the driver's seat while driving. When I park, the last thing I want to do is spend more time in the driver's seat. I purchased a folding camp chair from L.L.Bean. It is of low profile design. Somewhere between a regular lawn chair and a beach chair. Perfect for a cargo van.

iheart, your statement "There are often times that I am glad that I am self-contained in my van. I don't have to leave it for days if I don't want" reminds me of a line from a Greg Brown song - "We used to say we could eat a horse, but it ain't true. We couldn't eat a horse because we don't want to."

 

[pelicn]

Hmmm...I might be considered one of those "front seat zombies"! Our laptop sits next to the passengers seat, and our front seats swivel so it's just as easy to sit up there while on the computer. If hubby is watching a movie that I don't want to watch, I'll sit up there and paly on the computer, or read a book. I do get up an go to the back quite often, but I can see how seeing someone up front all the time would be a little creepy.

 

[CharlesD]

I've always wondered about those people. I have a 2007 Sprinter, the extended version, so I have about 40" of space for my bunk area and have plenty to do back there, DVD, PS2, and plenty of books. Sometimes I get kind of sick of sitting back there all the time so I will sit in the front seat and read. I also cover up my windows so nobody can see in, so nobody will ever know if I'm in the sleeper or in the front seat.

 

[greg334]

Front seat zombie?

I guess I got a new name.

I sit in the front seat because of my back, just like I am doing right now. If I ever get a new truck, it will have a real seat that swivels and cab curtains so I can enjoy my movies in a theater setting.

Moot,
Yes sticking those bodies in an escort was a pain, I went from an escort to a beat up Cadillac because the trunk was bigger, had the trunk lip that was only 3" and there was more room the fold the legs under the body, so I can carry my assorted tools around in the trunk - hack saw, knives, plastic and all that other stuff.

When I was a cadaver transportation specialist, I did a job the night before for a friend and in the middle of loading the caddy, I got a call to make a pick up at one of the hospitals in the area at 4 AM, that really threw me off my schedule. I plum forgot I had the left over in the trunk and open it up at the hospital only find that I had to take the one body out and fix it up that so they both could fit in the trunk. Talk about being embarrassed, those guys at the morgue would not let me forget about it.

 

[cheri1122]

It's not just vans - I can't believe how many drivers I see in the driver's seat, staring out into space, parked in the truckstops, as I walk past. (and the next one to crook a finger, or tap the city horn at me, is gonna regret it, serial killer zombie or not!) I don't see how, after driving for hours, the driver's seat is where they want to remain. Maybe it's a long lasting kind of road hypnosis?

 

[Dreamer]

Then those drivers will be the ones on here complaining about too much time... sitting...




I slay me...



Dreamer
Forums Administrator


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[arrbsthw]

I may be a front seat zombie also. My partner drives at night and I
drive days. After we unload, he goes to bed and I go to the front
seat with my coffee and laptop since I have had my 8 hrs sleep.

Middle curtains are closed so it will be dark for him but the front curtains are open so I can see out. I am NOSY and want to see what's going on outside. I hate sitting in the dark all the time. Unless sun is beating down on windshield those curtains are open so I can see.

Usually by 11:30 or 12:00 we have been dispatched and I am getting ready to go pick up our next load.

 

[Turtle]

Too funny.


People witting in the driver's seat, nearly motionless, and staring out the windshield all day long is kinda creepy.

On the other hand, I might creep someone out. I'll arrive at a truck stop, put up the window covers and close it up tight, and do what it is I do in here. Play on the computer, watch TV of movies, eat, sleep, git nekkid. Might open it up a little and peek my head out once in a while to see what's going on, might move a little to get something else to eat, might not move for days.

Then again, I'm a turtle. We do that.

Slow and steady, even in expediting, wins the race - Aesop

 

[unorthodoxneon]

When i was in my truck i had window curtains and a front windown shade to keep most of the light out, but in the very top it didnt block to well so i was still able to see out the truck. Just think just because you cant see inside the truck doesnt mean nobody isnt watching you! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[PinballWizard]

Another thing...

why do people sit at truck stops all day anyway. Last week I pulled into the Flying J just south of Knoxville for the night after unloading to get some sleep. The next morning, I got up and went inside to use the restroom then came back out and started up my Sprinter and put my curtains down. While I was doing this, another guy with the same carrier walks over to my window and says " Got a load already ? ". I say " no, I'm just going downtown to check out Worlds Fair Park ". He looks at me like I'm an idiot and says " your doing what ? " . " I'm going downtown, to worlds fair park, the site of the 1982 World's Fair " " I was there when I was 7 years old and want to see it again ". He just looks at me like I'm some crazy person and then says " You must have money to burn, I don't move anywhere unless they are paying me to move "....

Some people need to get a life. Maybe my trip was a bit geeky but I still think its better than sitting at a truck stop.

 

[Dreamer]

Pinball,
Not geeky at all.. smart! Once you're rested, why not use your waiting time for something you like? Especially in a van, you would be able to park near attractions, and be able to leave quickly if a run came up.

Good thinking, and something many expediters take advantage of.

"I don't move unless they pay me" is a great way to go nuts!


Dreamer
Forums Administrator


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"Ability can take you to the top, but it takes Character to keep you there."

- Zig Ziglar

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[redytrk]

The reason we are "Serial Killers" is because of all those nosey people starring,and wondering what we are doing. The body's are stacking up.

By the way Weren`t you in the front seat of your van watching and timing our movements?

 

[iheartfaye]

Redy,

Haha, I stopped timing you, my stopwatch broke.

I am glad I am not the only one that has found the zombies to be unnerving. When I am on my laptop, I am in the front too, but I generally have my side curtains up. I also pull head in to the spots and try to point my van towards grass or something else 'scenic.' I get plenty of light from the front window, two roof vents, and my tinted side windows.

I doubt many of the 'zombies' are on their laptops when they are upfront because they typically are the guys/gals that have the dashboard littered with 500 maps of various parts of the country. I have a table that folds out from the wall in the back of my van so I can move my pc back there if I want.

AND, for those serial killers of you complaining about lifting 300 lb bodies into the trunk of a Ford Escort.....duh....start killing skinny people.