outandbout
Active Expediter
A new day begins and here I am, for it is only a typical day. All days are typical anymore. The thing is that I love typical days as it is still better than a homeless person and I still take in several things new every one of them.
Maybe today will be one of my Walmart trips that I am so prepared for. I'll walk in the door and the greeter will see me coming in with no return bags and abruptly change his/her stance and body language representing me as invisible. Or, maybe the greeter will give me a mongoloid-like gaze and I can attempt to break it by saying "How are you today" as this otherwise intelligent person continues with this mongoloid-like gaze that I must now break. Do you know what, don't worry about it Walmart greeter, self-checkout cashier with no vocal cords, or stocking person that I jumped in front of, you are my customer and I am sorry. You have qualities that will take you places.
Oh, and on the way out as I visit the restroom, I am sorry for getting in the way of the employee with a sour face coming out of the restroom as I was entering. Furthermore, I apologize that this person had to see the feces with footprints coming out of one of the stalls while in there. It was not your job to worry about this and you are going places in life. The same to you Sears appliance salesperson. I am sorry that you had to walk out of that trashed restroom and go back quietly to sell washer/dryer machines after such trauma was imposed upon you. I don't blame you for not saying anything. Hey! Maybe you will be able to sue your employer for not automatically sending someone to check it. You are not only "the man", but you are the customer.
Time To Eat!
"Hello waitress, I see you don't talk too much............... Well,I am hungry, all I had today was a couple of sausage burritos for breakfast from Mcdonalds, do you have any recommendations? No, you say? ummm, ok, sure... you know, you work very hard to service me compared to that young and eager person at Mcdonald's and I appreciate you for what you go through as my customer. You are entitled. Therefore, I will most assuredly give you a humongous tip in appreciation for what you have to do. Thank you, it is as you are the customer and I do appreciate you."
Meal is Complete!
"Thank you waitress friend and customer for bringing me this bill as I finished my second tea. My tip to you is 20% of the total before tax on my credit card. You know the tomatoes were missing from my omelet, but that was beyond you. What!?, you now say there were no tomatoes in the reefer. Oh, I am sorry you had to go through this. I'll tell you what, round the total up to $30, ok, Hun?..........
"What do I do for a living? I am an expediter sweetie. No, HA HA, I am not a drug dealer!...kind of like a truck driver except only carrying two pallets of freight. Basically, an ambulance driver for freight servicing customers everywhere I go just like this dude from Buchananan,MI used to say about 7 years ago...... I'll tell you what, since you like me now after tipping you, we can go to Regal across the street tonight....What?... of course I'm paying I used to make a lot of money.............
Movie is over and still no load!
"Well that new Harrisson Ford movie was delightful, here is that $71.87 you need to cover your electric bill... sure I can come over, but I need you to know that I am a lesbian." She says, "Oh, that's ok my new sugar momma, I totally understand. It's so funny because I thought the banana in your pocket that you evidently took from the buffet this afternoon was something else. I say, "Sweetie it is "something else". You see, while I admit to being a lesbian, I am fond of you and must let you know that I am also a man who dresses like a woman." I gasp....... she says, "Oh, that's ok my new sugar daddy, I totally understand."
Thank you Customers, Thank you companies like G** Boy Stewie's (not that that's a bad thing)All-types Expediting, T and K, LRT, and *$%^&#$ for helping to thin the herd by destroying the contractors with no business skills. I recommend everybody to sign on at ATE, TK, and LRT. It just makes things easier if you know what I mean.
Thank you uneducated owner operators that have no business savvy, business records, business skills,aspirations, or teeth and make up a bunch of crap when filing taxes. Thank you Richard Simmons for sweating to the oldies. Thank you dependable companies that don't give cash advances and pay in 30 days and beyond. In my day there were no cash advances and people got along just fine. Albeit, gas was only .89 to .99 per gallon.
A,b,c,d,e,f-it!
Thank you life savings. Thank you pink elephant! Thank you, Mr. Don Lapre (scammer) May you RIP.and Mr. Mark Cuban (my idle). Thank you Michelin, thank you guitars, thank you computers, thank you lawyers, thank you private investigators, thank you science, thank you education and edumacation alike!
Thank you "Without Expediters, America Stops Faster" bumper sticker. It is time for a new batch, don't you think?
A,b,c,d,e,f-it!
