We get up at 5:00 am, have a quick breakfast and join the early
morning Walk and Talk Club. There are about 30 of us. Rain or shine
we walk around the streets, all talking at once. After a nimble
walk, avoiding irate drivers out to make us road kill, we go back
home, shower and change for the next activity.
The women go directly to the pool for their underwater Pilates
class, followed by gasping for breath and CPR.
The men put on 'Ask me about my Grandchildren' T-shirts, mid-calf
shorts, socks and sandals and go to the club house lobby for a nice
nap.
Before you know it it's time for lunch. We go to Costco to partake
of the many tasty samples dispensed by ladies in white hair nets.
All free! After a filling lunch, if we don't have any doctor
appointments, we might go to the flea market to buy a Rolex watch
for $2.00.
We're usually back home by 2 PM to get ready for dinner. People
start lining up for the early bird about 3 PM, but we get there by
3:45 because we are late eaters. The dinners are very popular
because of the large portions they serve. You can take home enough
food for the next day's lunch and dinner, including extra bread,
crackers, sweet-and-low packets and mints. At 5:30 pm we're home
ready to watch the 6 o'clock news. By 6:30, we're fast asleep. Then
we get up and make 5 or 6 trips to the bathroom during the night
and it's time to get up and start a new day all over again.
Doctor related activities will eat up most of your retirement
time. I enjoy reading old magazines in sub-zero temperatures in
the waiting room, so I don't mind. Calling for test results also
help the days fly by. It takes at least half an hour just getting
through the doctor's phone menu. Then there is the hold time until
you are connected to the right party. Sometimes they forget you are
holding, and the whole office goes to lunch.
Many of the receptionists are quite rude. They keep you standing at
that dopey little, closed glass window, totally ignoring you.
After 1/2 an hour, I ignore the 'Do not tap on the window' sign and
tap on the window. This always drives them nuts. If you do, they
put down their Egg McMuffin or thei r copy of the Enquirer, and fling
open the window, ready for a fight. I lie, explaining I tapped on
the window accidentally because I have Parkinson's.
They claim they are required to keep the window closed because of
the privacy law but I don't believe it. Are they afraid if I were
to overhear Sol Lip****z has hemorrhoids, that I would blackmail him
or sell the information to a foreign government? In Florida
everyone has hemorrhoids.
Choosing a development with suitable amenities is an important
decision. The various clubs in these communities provide most of the
activities. Our development has over 300 clubs. There's something
for everyone. Clubs like the Kidney Donating Club, the East Meets
West Club (not to be confused with the West Meets East Club), etc.
A truly active community is one where the ambulance is there several
times a day and is part of the Travel Club.
Mostly, it's important to choose a development with an impressive
name. Italian names are very popular in Florida. They convey world
traveler, uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather
live, in "Murray 's Condo's" or "The Lakes Of Venice?" There is no
difference. They are both owned by Murray who happens to be a cheap SOB.
I hope this material has been of some help to you future retirees.
If I can be of any further assistance, please look me up when you're
in Florida. I live in "The Leaning Condos of Pisa" in Boynton Beach.
morning Walk and Talk Club. There are about 30 of us. Rain or shine
we walk around the streets, all talking at once. After a nimble
walk, avoiding irate drivers out to make us road kill, we go back
home, shower and change for the next activity.
The women go directly to the pool for their underwater Pilates
class, followed by gasping for breath and CPR.
The men put on 'Ask me about my Grandchildren' T-shirts, mid-calf
shorts, socks and sandals and go to the club house lobby for a nice
nap.
Before you know it it's time for lunch. We go to Costco to partake
of the many tasty samples dispensed by ladies in white hair nets.
All free! After a filling lunch, if we don't have any doctor
appointments, we might go to the flea market to buy a Rolex watch
for $2.00.
We're usually back home by 2 PM to get ready for dinner. People
start lining up for the early bird about 3 PM, but we get there by
3:45 because we are late eaters. The dinners are very popular
because of the large portions they serve. You can take home enough
food for the next day's lunch and dinner, including extra bread,
crackers, sweet-and-low packets and mints. At 5:30 pm we're home
ready to watch the 6 o'clock news. By 6:30, we're fast asleep. Then
we get up and make 5 or 6 trips to the bathroom during the night
and it's time to get up and start a new day all over again.
Doctor related activities will eat up most of your retirement
time. I enjoy reading old magazines in sub-zero temperatures in
the waiting room, so I don't mind. Calling for test results also
help the days fly by. It takes at least half an hour just getting
through the doctor's phone menu. Then there is the hold time until
you are connected to the right party. Sometimes they forget you are
holding, and the whole office goes to lunch.
Many of the receptionists are quite rude. They keep you standing at
that dopey little, closed glass window, totally ignoring you.
After 1/2 an hour, I ignore the 'Do not tap on the window' sign and
tap on the window. This always drives them nuts. If you do, they
put down their Egg McMuffin or thei r copy of the Enquirer, and fling
open the window, ready for a fight. I lie, explaining I tapped on
the window accidentally because I have Parkinson's.
They claim they are required to keep the window closed because of
the privacy law but I don't believe it. Are they afraid if I were
to overhear Sol Lip****z has hemorrhoids, that I would blackmail him
or sell the information to a foreign government? In Florida
everyone has hemorrhoids.
Choosing a development with suitable amenities is an important
decision. The various clubs in these communities provide most of the
activities. Our development has over 300 clubs. There's something
for everyone. Clubs like the Kidney Donating Club, the East Meets
West Club (not to be confused with the West Meets East Club), etc.
A truly active community is one where the ambulance is there several
times a day and is part of the Travel Club.
Mostly, it's important to choose a development with an impressive
name. Italian names are very popular in Florida. They convey world
traveler, uppity sophistication and wealth. Where would you rather
live, in "Murray 's Condo's" or "The Lakes Of Venice?" There is no
difference. They are both owned by Murray who happens to be a cheap SOB.
I hope this material has been of some help to you future retirees.
If I can be of any further assistance, please look me up when you're
in Florida. I live in "The Leaning Condos of Pisa" in Boynton Beach.