Hawkeye: Turtle's comments describe my early adult years perfectly. I got married in 1964 and, as a young sailor, I spent four of my first seven months of marital bliss at sea while my new bride worked at her job in Boston, Mass. In 1965, I was transferred to a ship homeported in Hawaii. I left my pregnant wife at the dock on the day of our arrival in Honolulu and didn't return for six months. Three or four months later, after a couple of two-three week absences, I sailed again for another six months. Some months later, I left her in Hawaii for four and a half months of temporary duty in Virginia. The next year and a half we had a relatively calm homelife with my absences occurring about an average of two weeks at sea each month. The calmness ended and I was ordered to a 13 month tour in southeast Asia. A year and a half after my return, we parted with an amicable divorce after nearly ten years of repeated absences with, as my wife stated, little hope of a steady homelife with a father and husband being home for his family. I was too young, perhaps, to appreciate the wisdom of those words.
The life of a military spouse and family is little different than that of a truck driver's family. Frequent and lengthy absences from home are the personal price we pay to earn enough money to provide financial security for our families. It takes an extremely strong relationship for a husband and wife to overcome the small paychecks, the last minute departures and the long separations.
The strain on a marriage though, is nothing compared to the strain on the children. It takes constant and consistent attention to properly rear a child from infancy to socially acceptable adulthood. Children need more than a father, they need a daddy, day and night.
Rene' and I succeeded in expediting because we were in this together. We traveled together and nurtured our marriage with companionship and communication. Thirty three years later, and 19 years of expediting, our relationship is as strong as ever. I wish every bit of a similar success for Hawkeye, but the odds are against him unless he takes Turtle's words to heart, reassesses his current operation and, with the concurrance and support of his wife, plans for the future of his children.
The life of a military spouse and family is little different than that of a truck driver's family. Frequent and lengthy absences from home are the personal price we pay to earn enough money to provide financial security for our families. It takes an extremely strong relationship for a husband and wife to overcome the small paychecks, the last minute departures and the long separations.
The strain on a marriage though, is nothing compared to the strain on the children. It takes constant and consistent attention to properly rear a child from infancy to socially acceptable adulthood. Children need more than a father, they need a daddy, day and night.
Rene' and I succeeded in expediting because we were in this together. We traveled together and nurtured our marriage with companionship and communication. Thirty three years later, and 19 years of expediting, our relationship is as strong as ever. I wish every bit of a similar success for Hawkeye, but the odds are against him unless he takes Turtle's words to heart, reassesses his current operation and, with the concurrance and support of his wife, plans for the future of his children.
