xxiv24
Expert Expediter
Ok, Steve. Let's see if this one puts a grin on your face...08-21 02:45
Xiggi looks at his watch and tells me that it is nearing 0300. Hurridly, we grab up our belongings from the lounge and race down the stairs to the open parking lot. I with a pack of smokes and a soda and Xiggi with his laptop cradled and cords dangling from his arms arrive in front of TJP's sprinter giggling in anticipation of the coming event. Let me first, bring you up to speed.
Several weeks ago TJP was telling me how much fun it would be to prank on some unsuspecting drivers in the lot...in particular, me it seemed. He even went as far as to name a few accomplises, giving him such goodies as shrink wrapping my van while i slept. I smiled.
It has been several weeks now, in passing and the time had come for the game to be afoot.
Early in the evening of 08-20 I go to my van and pull out the dreaded Screaming Meanie. A word about this evil device before i proceed...in design this thing is ingenious. When the alarm goes off, you get only 2 chances to hit a single button for a 5 min snooze. After the second snooze the alarm will blare until you manage to hold down two buttons on the side while pressing a third on the face. If you do not perform this deactivation, the alarm will continue to blare until turn it off or the battery runs dead. Naturally, the end result is that unless you are totally deaf, you will be awake to turn this off. There are three levels of noise making capabilities. The first being akin to a clock radio, the second to a clock radio turned all the way up,and lastly the third which sounds like the loudest screeching car alarm on the globe pressed up against your forehead. There are 3 varieties of the meanie green yellow and red. Green being the mildest version, this is the one of which i currently speak. I have not personally tried the other two types but, of them i should say this in warning. I am sure some of you have heard stories of the occaisional dead trucker found in the cab of his/her ride. Well I would not be surprised to learn that thse poor folks had the misfortune of having the red and when going off it destroyed thier internal workings before having a chance to silence the beast. EMT's merely failed to note the presence of this nasty bugger as it was sitting innocently on a shelf with a dead battery having sated its hunger on the poor unsuspecting soul...come to think of it, these things are so loud they could very well rip the soul from your body in mere nanoseconds...
Now then, I set the alarm to go off at 0300. TJP is on the cell with his girl and distracted. We manage to get him to unlock his van, claiming we want to show the inside off to a fellow driver. He does so.
As he walks away, I slip the Meanie under his passanger seat and close the door wringing my hands with an evil laugh....mwahahahaha.
You are now current, Steve. Ermm, as well as all of you other readers...
So, Xiggi stows his gear in his truck and we stand about 20 ft away from the front of TJP's truck and await the festivities. After a smoke and a couple swigs of soda, nothing. 0300 has come and gone. We are baffled, needless to say. Then it dawns on me. In my haste to set the time, i neglected to set the minutes on it. Drat. At 0320 TJP actually gets up long enough to turn on the van and go back to sleep. He did not see us standing outside of the van looking dejected. At 0330, Xiggi and I decide to retire for the night and try again on the morrow.
I crawl into my van and get undressed and crawl under the covers. Just as my head hits the pillow I hear a faint beeping. Sitting up, I look at my watch. 0341. Now it is louder as if a door had opened and then faint again as though the door had closed. I sprang from the bed and threw on a shirt, shorts and boots. Whipping open my sliding door I jumped out and ran to Xiggis van and slapped the hood...this initself was hilarious, sorry Xig. Inside i could see him suddenly struggling to escape his bunk which sits up high, near the top of the van. For those who have seen Xiggi and those who have not he is a tall slender fellow. So from my perspective, I was witness to long flailing arms and legs shooting out from a curtain like an octopuss ready to snatch you up in 3D. This was followed by a knowing pearly white grin appearing through the darkness. This is great.
As Xiggi makes his way outside, I peek around a nearby cargo van and see
TJP slowly walking about the sprinters parked near him, his side door open and the alarm blaring across the whole front lot. He is standing in the cool air with nada on but a pair of plaid shorts...not even wearing shoes...I am laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes. TJP can't find the nefarious device and assumes that his van is about to explode. Disheveled and eyes as big as coffee saucers he asks us if we can turn it off, it is making his head hurt! So I walk over and shut it down and remove it from the vehicle. TJP...well it was just priceless...I am certain had no idea what had just happened, looked like a mesmerized deer staring into oncoming headlights. Xiggi patted him on the shoulder and told him amongst laughing that it was alright and we left him bewildered in the parking lot and went to sleep.
I thank you TJP. That was the best laugh I have had in weeks, you are my hero. Too bad we didn't have a camera.
If that didn't make you laugh Steve, then i fear i cannot do it.
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