Back when I was doing church directories for Olan Mills, I once had a flat tire, left rear tire, while on the way to Hot Springs, AR. It was on that road that leads there from the Interstate. I was on my way to the church, dressed in a suit and tie, jacket was on a hanger. I was driving a Soccer Mommy Van that had the tire jack on the right front side under the hood by the engine. I pulled over, right to the edge of the shoulder. Changed the tire no problems. As I was reinstalling the jack in its proper place, I had no idea that my left foot was off the shoulder and smack dab in the middle of a fire ant mound.
The ants were not pleased.
This happened in a matter of seconds as I only had moved my left foot around the side of the van to install and tighten the wing nut securing the jack. I felt a stinging and looked down, and my left pant leg below the thigh was
totally covered in ants. A good number of them were up inside my pant leg and were biting like crazy in a highly coordinated attack, both on bare skin and through the socks. A separate regiment was headed for my right leg and had already covered my right shoe.
Even in the throws of passion I've never removed my shoes, socks and pants so fast as I did that day.
There I was standing on the side of the road, barefoot and pantless, wearing my tighty-whities and a button-down Oxford shirt and a tie. The locals knew exactly what was going on, many laughed as they drove by, a couple of cars stopped and between the hysterical laughing they helped me out and dealt with the ants. One was a State Cop and his family on the way to the church to have his picture taken. He said that it's very common for someone on the side of the road down there to lose their pants once in a while, especially for cops who are standing off the shoulder writing a ticket, as those ants like to make home near the new roads because of the loose dirt around them. Said he's had to take his off several times while dealing with someone on the side of the road.
But I got through the day and nursed a bazillion donut-shaped pustules on my legs. Fortunately none left any scars.
For those who have never been attacked by fire ants, I highly recommend it. It's one of life's truly awe-inspiring and astonishingly humbling experiences.