Monday afternoon I picked up a load delivering to Basin Electric Power CO-OP in Stanton, ND (pop. 345) The address given was a state highway. Shouldn't be too difficult to find a power plant somewhere in or around Stanton.
About 10 miles out of Stanton I could see flashing strobe lights. As I got closer I could make out the outline of the smoke stacks and see ground level light. Definitely a power plant. That was easy!
I found a sign directing me to a road that led to the main gate. Only problem was the sign read Great River Energy. Probably in the midst of a name change. My power company does that every few years. Besides, what are the odds of delivering to the wrong power plant in Stanton,ND??
From a call box at the gate I was informed that the odds are 50/50. I was at the wrong power plant. Basin Electric was next door. I was told to go back to the highway and 1 1/2 miles I would find the gate to Basin.
I found a sign and a road that led toward Basin. I was on a dirt road that intersected with another dirt road. Just in front of me was a gate, a call box and a dark guard shack inside the gate. To my right was a sign, ALTERNATIVE ENERGY and an arrow pointing the way. When it comes to energy I'm a conventional gasoline and potatoes kind of guy. And I'm not into alternative lifestyles either. I'll leave that alternative stuff to that chunk of carbon that won the Nobel Peace Prize.
To my left was a 4 x 8 sheet of plywood propped up against a pile of dirt or coal. Hand lettered in blaze orange, with an arrow it read; LOS SCRUBBERS CONS. I haven't had any Spanish classes since 6th grade, so I was clueless. The caffeine coursing through my brain momentarily brought up a mental image of a gay Mexican bath house. With men sweating out coal dust and scrubbing each others backs with LOS LOOFAHS. I shouldn't have had that last cup of coffee.
The only logical and safe choice was the gate in front of me. I pulled up to the call box. The instructions were to dial 0, if no answer dial 2119. I picked up the phone, heard no dial tone but dialed 0 anyway. No ringing, no answer, only silence. I dialed 2119. Nothing! I dial my truck number. Nothing! I dialed my S.S. number. Nothing! I began to dial random sets of numbers. More nothingness. I really didn't need that last cup of coffee!
Finally I concluded that the phone was O.T.F.L. (Out To F in' Lunch) So I used my cell phone and called a contact number from the load offer. A cheerful female voice answers my call. It's 02:30 in the a.m. I explain who I am, what I have, where it is from and that I am at an unmanned gate. The gate part confused her so she transfered my call.
This time I talk to a man. I do the Who, what, where, when and sometimes why thing for him. He asks me what city am I in. I explain that I am about 6 miles from Stanton, ND, outside a power plant and I am trying to get in the gate. He tells me he is in Bismarck. Gee, that's nice. I guess everyone has to be somewhere. He asks if I am at the main gate. I describe the gate, the LOS SCRUBBERS CONS and ALTERNATIVE ENERGY signs. He tells me I am at the old main gate and I need to go back to the highway, and about a mile I should see the new main gate. He suggested I look for the "light station". He again mentioned the "light station" and said I couldn't miss it. I had no idea what a light station was, but it sounded important to my finding the new main gate.
The new main gate was right where he said it would be. Bathed in harsh white light supplied by the "light station" I could see the gate, a trailer-guard shack and a porta potty. The "light station" was two of those portable generator things with pole mounted flood lights that are commonly used for nighttime construction.
I did the who, what, where, when and sometimes why thing with the guard. She told me to follow the signs marked warehouse. I had so many questions for her, why had this become the new main gate, was the LOS SCRUBBER CONS really a gay Mexican bath house, why would a huge plant that turns coal into electricity mess around with portable generators.
Couldn't they run an extension cord? Did these generators have anything to do with the ALTERNATIVE ENERGY sign? Did Cleveland beat Boston? But the only question I asked was if I could use her porta potty. All of the coffee that filled my head was now sloshing around in my bladder.
The road to the warehouse was clearly marked at every intersection and rail crossing with a sign that read LOS ADMIN. OFFICE LOS WAREHOUSE. How quaint, they carried over the Spanish theme inside the fence. Some 6th grade Spanish came back to me. I fancied myself as Los Expeditos Magnifico, agent of Los Gatos Negro. Whoa! No more coffee for me for the rest of the week.
Eventually I found LOS WAREHOUSE. I greeted the man waiting for me with a "Buenos Dias Amigo". He asked if I was getting prepared for Mexico's annexation of the U.S. I told him that the LOS SCRUBBERS CONS and LOS ADMIN LOS WAREHOUSE signs had me puzzled. I wasn't about to mention the gay bath house or alternative life style stuff to him.
He explained that LOS, was really L.O.S. Which stood for Leland Olds Station. I was at the Basin Electric CO-OP Leland Olds Station. The LOS SCRUBBERS CONS was a construction gate for construction workers building the new scrubbers. I guess the guy with the blaze orange paint thought punctuation marks such as periods were a waste of good paint. With deer season just around the corner he probably used the extra paint to touch up his hunting outfit. Those North Dakotans are a thrifty bunch. Ya, you betcha. Gordon Kohl would be pleased. As would the Brothers Coen.
About 10 miles out of Stanton I could see flashing strobe lights. As I got closer I could make out the outline of the smoke stacks and see ground level light. Definitely a power plant. That was easy!
I found a sign directing me to a road that led to the main gate. Only problem was the sign read Great River Energy. Probably in the midst of a name change. My power company does that every few years. Besides, what are the odds of delivering to the wrong power plant in Stanton,ND??
From a call box at the gate I was informed that the odds are 50/50. I was at the wrong power plant. Basin Electric was next door. I was told to go back to the highway and 1 1/2 miles I would find the gate to Basin.
I found a sign and a road that led toward Basin. I was on a dirt road that intersected with another dirt road. Just in front of me was a gate, a call box and a dark guard shack inside the gate. To my right was a sign, ALTERNATIVE ENERGY and an arrow pointing the way. When it comes to energy I'm a conventional gasoline and potatoes kind of guy. And I'm not into alternative lifestyles either. I'll leave that alternative stuff to that chunk of carbon that won the Nobel Peace Prize.
To my left was a 4 x 8 sheet of plywood propped up against a pile of dirt or coal. Hand lettered in blaze orange, with an arrow it read; LOS SCRUBBERS CONS. I haven't had any Spanish classes since 6th grade, so I was clueless. The caffeine coursing through my brain momentarily brought up a mental image of a gay Mexican bath house. With men sweating out coal dust and scrubbing each others backs with LOS LOOFAHS. I shouldn't have had that last cup of coffee.
The only logical and safe choice was the gate in front of me. I pulled up to the call box. The instructions were to dial 0, if no answer dial 2119. I picked up the phone, heard no dial tone but dialed 0 anyway. No ringing, no answer, only silence. I dialed 2119. Nothing! I dial my truck number. Nothing! I dialed my S.S. number. Nothing! I began to dial random sets of numbers. More nothingness. I really didn't need that last cup of coffee!
Finally I concluded that the phone was O.T.F.L. (Out To F in' Lunch) So I used my cell phone and called a contact number from the load offer. A cheerful female voice answers my call. It's 02:30 in the a.m. I explain who I am, what I have, where it is from and that I am at an unmanned gate. The gate part confused her so she transfered my call.
This time I talk to a man. I do the Who, what, where, when and sometimes why thing for him. He asks me what city am I in. I explain that I am about 6 miles from Stanton, ND, outside a power plant and I am trying to get in the gate. He tells me he is in Bismarck. Gee, that's nice. I guess everyone has to be somewhere. He asks if I am at the main gate. I describe the gate, the LOS SCRUBBERS CONS and ALTERNATIVE ENERGY signs. He tells me I am at the old main gate and I need to go back to the highway, and about a mile I should see the new main gate. He suggested I look for the "light station". He again mentioned the "light station" and said I couldn't miss it. I had no idea what a light station was, but it sounded important to my finding the new main gate.
The new main gate was right where he said it would be. Bathed in harsh white light supplied by the "light station" I could see the gate, a trailer-guard shack and a porta potty. The "light station" was two of those portable generator things with pole mounted flood lights that are commonly used for nighttime construction.
I did the who, what, where, when and sometimes why thing with the guard. She told me to follow the signs marked warehouse. I had so many questions for her, why had this become the new main gate, was the LOS SCRUBBER CONS really a gay Mexican bath house, why would a huge plant that turns coal into electricity mess around with portable generators.
Couldn't they run an extension cord? Did these generators have anything to do with the ALTERNATIVE ENERGY sign? Did Cleveland beat Boston? But the only question I asked was if I could use her porta potty. All of the coffee that filled my head was now sloshing around in my bladder.
The road to the warehouse was clearly marked at every intersection and rail crossing with a sign that read LOS ADMIN. OFFICE LOS WAREHOUSE. How quaint, they carried over the Spanish theme inside the fence. Some 6th grade Spanish came back to me. I fancied myself as Los Expeditos Magnifico, agent of Los Gatos Negro. Whoa! No more coffee for me for the rest of the week.
Eventually I found LOS WAREHOUSE. I greeted the man waiting for me with a "Buenos Dias Amigo". He asked if I was getting prepared for Mexico's annexation of the U.S. I told him that the LOS SCRUBBERS CONS and LOS ADMIN LOS WAREHOUSE signs had me puzzled. I wasn't about to mention the gay bath house or alternative life style stuff to him.
He explained that LOS, was really L.O.S. Which stood for Leland Olds Station. I was at the Basin Electric CO-OP Leland Olds Station. The LOS SCRUBBERS CONS was a construction gate for construction workers building the new scrubbers. I guess the guy with the blaze orange paint thought punctuation marks such as periods were a waste of good paint. With deer season just around the corner he probably used the extra paint to touch up his hunting outfit. Those North Dakotans are a thrifty bunch. Ya, you betcha. Gordon Kohl would be pleased. As would the Brothers Coen.
