Just a comment

[Broompilot]

I have really been putting alot of time away from home (which is good for business).

So how do you all that leave your family behind, do you all get that guilt feeling that we should not have,but do? Its tougher to leave the home after a break than anything else I do out there. Once out I enjoy this business very much but leaving a ton of business items for the wife plus all the stuff that needs to get done around the home when you come in WOW now wonder I need to go back out.

Lawn taken care of, wash and detail truck, catch up on paperwork, catch up on friends, church, clean the garage, run errands, get the truck serviced, etc...

Pulling out in about an hour do not know how long out this time, record is 6 and half weeks and I hope to never break that one again. Generally stay out at least three weeks. I enjoy that routine its when it turns into 4 + but thats really not what I am asking (time out) its just the guilt of leaving. Brought on only by myself not my wife.

 

[Tennesseahawk]

Broom... I felt the exact same way. Even going out for a week or two, I hated to say goodbye to my daughter (especially when she cried) :'(

Now, I take a run (usually 500 or less), then start looking for something heading home. I've been getting home at least twice a week for the last couple weeks. Then the next day I look for something going out again. I'm starting to play it smarter. I bid higher to get out of town, then bid a little low to get back in, so I'd be sure to get it. Nothing sux worse than sitting a weekend, knowing I could be home if I went a quarter/mi cheaper. :7 :7 :7

 

[tiredofsittn]

i used to work offshore, 2 weeks out 2 weeks home, it means your gone half the year, some guys worked like that 6 months on 6 off.it seems now in expediting youve got to spend way more time out to make money, really for me being from the deep south. maybe i should head back out or try working on the pipeline they work like that also. i would probably make more money and be home more.

 

[theend]

If you have a $10 hr job for 40 hrs week + (60 miles round trip per day)
5hrs, you have 45 hours going into $400 = about $8.89 per hour.
After taxes and ins from your pay is taken out, is that better than what you earn now and have all the expenses as an owner taken out?
What I'm saying, is which position is better, financially, for you take care of your family?
Each one of you know what kind of work you can do and about what you would get for it. This is just a ballpark figure.
If you're just breaking even with what you would make at home, then wouldn't it be better if you were at home, getting home cooking, with every evening to do one chore and not get backed up on those? Have your weekends off?
Guilt is dissolved with your better sense. If your are better able to support your family by being out on the road, then let the guilt go.
The next step would be distributing those chores by paying to have them done, with some of the profit you make. It's okay to have someone mow your yard. It's okay to let someone wash the truck for you while you soak up the sun with your family.
An example of distribution is best found in Gov. If the Pres ran the whole show without any help, we wouldn't need Governors, Mayors, Judges and so on. The Pres. would have a nervous breakdown because now there would be no channels to go through for us to get to him.
Simply put: Balance is the key ingredient.
Guilt is an emotion. Balance is reality.
From the Bible: look what Moses did. As a judge he turned over the less important things to others to deal with.
An Expediter's main problem is that during the waiting time the mind wanders. It's not always a good thing to think. Have your figures to back you up. If they are positive your outlook will be positive.
If your wife is behind you 100% and is satisfied, you are blessed.

 

[louixo]

Broom...It´s all part of the choices you make. If you want the money, you stay out and run the miles. Also, it´s enjoying your work. If your marriage is a good one, then you are ahead of the game. It´s not easy for the ones waiting at home either. I wouldn´t dwell on it too much if I were you. You can always get off the road if it gets too much, and still drive local or regional, or do something else. Take the home folks with you when you can, and of course, only if they want to go. You have to put your priorities into perspective, and live with the consequences like all jobs.

 

[bryan]

HI
Thats the worst part of this business.A couple of things that I do to try and ease the pain is make sure I get as much done while in the truck as I can.Like washing the truck, doing paperwork and paying bills.I try to involve the kids as much as possible.When I wax the truck its a family affair even the 3year old grand daughter helps by wiping off the wheels and getting the bugs off the QC. She is light enough that she can get up on the roof.
My 13 year old daughter likes it when I write her letters from the road. 13 year olds don't get much mail other than credit card approvals that they can use anyway.She saves all my letters in a shoe box and when she starts missing me or is having a rough day she can pull them out and reread them.She writes me letters and then when I'm in I pick them up. I don't read them until I'm back in the truck.
I try to stay out 3 weeks at a time when its busy and then come in for 3 to 4 days before going out again.This way I can get my household chores done while she is in school.What I don't get done I dont worry about or will ask one of my older kids to take care of "with pay of course they seem to forget all the work I've done for free" .I also budget my to do list to co-inside with the slow times. If its slow I come home, try to get as much done as possible so that there isn't as much to do when it gets busy.
I ask my older kids how they handled it while I was out on the road They said they liked the freedom of not having me around all the time.My son always felt that he was better off than some of his friends.These kids didn't look forward to thier parents coming home from work.Thier parents didn't pay that much attention to them.He said that we always did stuff together like playing football and baseball or went camping or fishing.We used the time we had alot better that alot of families. We didn't waste time fighting over the small stuff,watching tv or going out drinking with friends.
Thanks and have a good one

 

[creekindian33]

get a divorce its so much easer

 

[RichM]

Creekindian, If thats the type of comments you are going to make to these forums why don't you GO AWAY. This man cares about his family and has guilt about leaving them. He is a family man and working hard to support them. He was looking for some helful advice as to handle the time away.
Your comment showed no class and was rude to a decent guy.

 

[davekc]

Creekindian33

I agree with Rich.
It was a serious question and didn't need your foolish comments.

Make an effort to show some professionalism.

Davekc
owner
21 years

 

[highway star]

Sometimes attempts at humor don't come across well in a forum. Particularly when the person trying to be funny can't seem to spell or construct a sentence at an early elementary school level.

You did get some great responces Broom. When mine were young I had an OTR job that had me home very regularly. 3 out, home overnight, 3 out, then home 2 days. I still missed out on a lot. The only consolation is that this is how you provide for your family and you just have to put everything in its place. I know, much easier said than done.

Bryan, imagine that! Teenagers that did'nt mind having their mother gone!

 

[ATeam]

I hope expediter wannabees think long and hard about this thread as part of their industry research. It well-illustrates the emotional tugs this business can involve.

The idea and meaning of "Home" varies from person to person. We've all heard the saying, "Home is where the heart is." Expediter wannabees should think long and hard about what that means to them before they jump in. Is it an address only, the place where your family is, a building, a legal concept for tax and U.S. Mail purposes, or something else?

So too with the idea and meaning of "Expediting." Will expediting be a lark for you to see the country, a career that provides the money you will use to provide a home for yourself and family, a few years doing work you'd rather not do but must to boost your retirement assets, a better opportunity than your present career, or something else?

Ask 5 expediters what home means to them and you'll get 5 different answers. Ask what expediting means and you'll get 5 different answers again. There is no right answer, only YOUR answer. It's not important how YOUR answer compares to others. It is of vital importance that you have YOUR answers to these questions before you jump into the business.

 

[Hightech_Hobo]

Broom,
I know you well and hope I can relieve some of your guilt, In a conversation with your wife we were talking about her business and she stated that she would not have been able to achieve the levels she reached if you were home. She seems to be using the new found personal time to give undivided attention to that end.

I find my wife is doing the same thing. She works many hours night and day on her bookkeeping business and seems happy in that persuit. I love the road and miss her but she has no interest in travel. On my last trip home I found a young man to help with the chores around the house that she and her bad back can not handle and this should take alot of pressure off of her. I also plan to use this person to maintain the truck when i am home so she and I can use my home time for more of the fun things.

I don't feel too guilty about my away time as modern electronics allow my wife and I to speak every day(about 2 hours phone time between morn and evening calls) and we are both doing what we want to do in life...and making some decent $$ in the process...

I will say I miss the physical hugs and such..but that makes them that much better when i get home....

Lose the guilt my friend, she loves you, supports you and is using the time to better herself. but make the most of your home time and delegate some of that truck cleaning to some kid that needs the $$ and spend quality time with the wife and daughter when you are home..


HT Hobo

 

[mschimmel]

As the wife of a Truck Driver that has only been in the business about a month I would like to comment on the guilt issue. I do not think that the feeling of guilt are one sided. Although the spouse at home is left with the additional responsibilities of both partners, we also still have the security of being at home. We still have our friends and other family members near by. I feel guilty when I discuss the 'fun' things that I do because I know that my husband would love to be part of the events. I like to talk about the things that I do when we are on the phone because I need him to continue to be part of my everyday activities although I'm sure most of what I talk about is boring and he has a lot of more important things on his mind like 'when will he get another load'. I believe the transition is going to take a lot of understanding, patience and discussions on your emotions.