Humourous Quotes & Puns (Add your favourites)

[EnglishLady]

Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean)

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest




And todays pun is .....


Experts say the cost of funerals have risen by 50%, they blame it on the cost of living

 

[Doggie Daddy]

And todays pun is .....


Experts say the cost of funerals have risen by 50%, they blame it on the cost of living

On the same subject, from Yogi Berra:

"If you don't go to other people's funerals,they won't go to your's".

 

[cheri1122]

The inimitable Yogi could keep us entertained all day, all by himself - one of my favorites:
"Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded."

 

[WestSide]

After watching True Grit, was reminded of the three-legged dog that walked into the bar and declared "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"

 

[Ragman]

The inimitable Yogi could keep us entertained all day, all by himself - one of my favorites:
"Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded."

Don't forget - "If you come to a fork in the road, take it"

 

[Hightech_Hobo]

...."I have been accused of being a procrastinator....but we will talk about that later...."

 

[louixo]

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?"

 

[Pilgrim]

"I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

- Winston Churchill

 

[Doggie Daddy]

Don't forget - "If you come to a fork in the road, take it"

LOL,that Yogi quote was part of the directions to his house, he lived on a cul de sac and so it didn't matter which way you turned at the fork in the road.


Another good one from Yogi: "you better cut the pizza into four pieces,because I'm not hungry enough to eat six".