IF the public has the right to decide what is done with THEIR hard earned money? IF? What would even make anyone think that we do not have a right to control what happens what is done with OUR MONEY? It is NOT the "government's" money. It is owned solely by the person that EARNED that money. We should ALL have the CHOICE of where our charity dollars go.
Money, like our home's, cars etc, is private property. We have a right to own and control our private property. We, as a people, allow the government to take some of the property to run the government. We, as a people have the right to decide what is done with that money.
When people purchase a commodity, service or product they do so by choice. People can control where their monies go in the private sector. They can, and often do, just avoid companies that they are opposed to.
As you said: we, the people, voluntarily chose to fund the government in order that it carry out basic tasks for the common welfare. Once taxes are collected, they are no longer our personal money, and we have no control [beyond the voting booth & impeachment process] over how that money is spent.
Most citizens would prefer that the needy [including children, elderly, and handicapped, as well as those down on their luck] not be left homeless, hungry, or uncared for. Private charity didn't do a very good job, which is why the government stepped in. As far as providing basic needs, they still don't - ever check out some of those 'charities'? They seem to exist to reap the monetary rewards of other peoples' generosity, but the ones they purport to help get nearly none of it. The religious charities couldn't avoid forcing their beliefs upon people as a condition of getting food or a bed, and people preferred to go without rather than go along with the false charity. [It isn't truly charity if there are strings attached.] I believe I understand that perfectly, and would do the same.
Your anecdotal support for your beliefs [your family, and people you know] does not mean a thing to the rest of civilized society, you know. Nor does your belief that if you did it, they can too [and it's odd, but almost the only people with that attitude are white males, most of whom have a wife to help out], because they are not you, and you have no idea what they can or can't do, or why.
And this is just me, personally, but I find the judgmental attitude regarding what other people [whose circumstances you know nothing about] 'deserve' or 'should have' to be about as uncharitable as humanly possible.