If "w" was to resign today...this sould be his last speech...
Normally, I start these
things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it
this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know
who more than half of you are anymore. I do know
something terrible has happened, and that you're really
not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right
to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in
a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to
avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you:
There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses
in this office.
The reason I'm quitting is
simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because
you have no understanding of what's really going on in
the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great
nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned
lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of
goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that
the majority of you think the economy is in the tank.
And that's despite record numbers of homeowners,
including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And
while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that
minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our
unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the
Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things
before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.
Despite the shock to our economy
o f 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels
and more Americans than ever are participating in these
markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas
prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize
that gas prices are high because there's increased
demand in other parts of the world, and because a small
handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar
bears and beach front property than your economic
security.
We face real threats in the world.
Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were
trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq 's
oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell.
And don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap
either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I
could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so
they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the
fact that the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the rest
of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me.
Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was
official US policy before I came into office. Some guy
named ' Clinton ' established that policy. Bet you
didn't know that, did you?
You idiots need to
understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the
cold war, there were two major competing political and
economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we
did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to
survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend
and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time.
The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they
survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as
long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of
you with them as they can. But they are. They want to
kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.
You should be grateful that they haven't gotten
any more of us here in the United States since September
11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea
how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law
enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to
make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I
warned you that this would be a long and difficult
fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a
long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of
'Survivor.'
Instead, you've grown impatient.
You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens
of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars
should last a few months, a few years,
tops.
Making matters worse, you actively support
those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New
York Times, every time you send a donation to a
cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang
it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a
Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy
enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It
just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC
News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter.
Most of you would rather watch American Idol.
I
could say more about your expectations that the
government will always be there to bail you out, even if
you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level
and has a hurricane approaching.
I could say more about your
insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is
where the money comes from. But I've come to the
conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right
over your heads.
So I quit. I'm going back to
Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there
(Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be
fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford
before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here
pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe
I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last
pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's
quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President.
You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because
I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just
enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn
this thing around in 2008.
So that's it. God
bless what's left of America .
Some of you know what
I mean.
The rest of you, kiss
off.
Normally, I start these
things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans.' Not doing it
this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know
who more than half of you are anymore. I do know
something terrible has happened, and that you're really
not fellow Americans any longer.
I'll cut right
to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in
a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to
avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you:
There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses
in this office.
The reason I'm quitting is
simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because
you have no understanding of what's really going on in
the world. Or of what's going on in this once-great
nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned
lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of
goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that
the majority of you think the economy is in the tank.
And that's despite record numbers of homeowners,
including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And
while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that
minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our
unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the
Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things
before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.
Despite the shock to our economy
o f 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels
and more Americans than ever are participating in these
markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas
prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize
that gas prices are high because there's increased
demand in other parts of the world, and because a small
handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar
bears and beach front property than your economic
security.
We face real threats in the world.
Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing. If I were
trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq 's
oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell.
And don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap
either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I
could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so
they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the
fact that the intelligence was faulty.
Let me remind you that the rest
of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me.
Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was
official US policy before I came into office. Some guy
named ' Clinton ' established that policy. Bet you
didn't know that, did you?
You idiots need to
understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the
cold war, there were two major competing political and
economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we
did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to
survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend
and out-tech them.
That's not the case this time.
The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they
survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as
long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of
you with them as they can. But they are. They want to
kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.
You should be grateful that they haven't gotten
any more of us here in the United States since September
11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea
how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law
enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to
make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I
warned you that this would be a long and difficult
fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a
long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of
'Survivor.'
Instead, you've grown impatient.
You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens
of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars
should last a few months, a few years,
tops.
Making matters worse, you actively support
those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New
York Times, every time you send a donation to a
cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well, dang
it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a
Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.
In this day and age, it's easy
enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It
just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC
News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter.
Most of you would rather watch American Idol.
I
could say more about your expectations that the
government will always be there to bail you out, even if
you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level
and has a hurricane approaching.
I could say more about your
insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is
where the money comes from. But I've come to the
conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right
over your heads.
So I quit. I'm going back to
Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there
(Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be
fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford
before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here
pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe
I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last
pillars of America fall.
Oh, and by the way, Cheney's
quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new President.
You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because
I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just
enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn
this thing around in 2008.
So that's it. God
bless what's left of America .
Some of you know what
I mean.
The rest of you, kiss
off.
