ATTN: ALL bEaGLe OFFICE PERSONEL
In a company wide effort to instill better understanding between Office Personnel and Driver/Contractors, all Office Personnel will now be required to follow a few new rules.
You must sign an employment contract written by company attorneys.
The contract is solely for the benefit of the company. You are not allowed to change it in any way. The company will totally ignore this contract. You however are expected to live up to your end of it. If you complain about the company not fulfilling its contractual obligations, you will be terminated for having a bad attitude.
The employment contract makes an additional job almost impossible.
You are on call for the company 24-7, other jobs are frowned upon.
If however someone will do your job for one cent less than you,
They will be used to do your job, and you can sit at home and wait for work.
*There is no more regular working hours,
You must call in to the office between 13:00 and 13:05 for your next days work schedule. If no one answers the phone, if the phone is busy, or if you forget to call, you do not work or get paid tomorrow, try again tomorrow for the following day.
*Please do not worry about this policy, because even if you call, get scheduled, and drive into work, there may be little or no work for you to do when you arrive, So you must sit in your work area all day and wait for work to do, without any pay of course.
You will also be required to wait for an indefinite amount of time before starting work, for no apparent reason.
During these periods, you must remain in your workspace, and you will never be paid compensation of any kind.
You are now on call 24 / 7
You will be alerted via Nextel, never mind its 2 am, that the kids are asleep and that you drank a 6-pack of beer, be in the office after being alerted in one hour or less. You MUST always respond to an alert, or you will be construed as having a bad attitude.
Your pay will now be a random number,
You will never understand how it was arrived at. The exact same job done on different days will pay differently. Your pay will vary by the season, by the day of the week, and by whom ever inputs your pay into the company payroll system. This person will usually be a newly hired individual who has no concept of the industry.
You are encouraged to complain about you pay,
The company feels that this is meaningful dialog.
Sometimes if you complain you be paid a little more. The next day however you will be paid much less. But the pay system works fine for the company and will not be changed.
You have 24 hours to get your pay mistakes corrected. After 24 hours and ONE minute it is beyond the companies power to make any upward adjustment in your pay. The system does not allow it. But the pay system works fine for the company and will not be changed.
Your pay will be VERY carefully audited to insure you are never over-paid.
Any mistakes in which you were over-paid will be corrected, even if the mistake is found WEEKS or MONTHS after the fact.
ANY and ALL mistakes where you are under-paid, no matter how excessively, will be ignored.
Your boss’s bonus will now be based upon how much money he can skim from you and your fellow employee’s pay. The pay system works fine for the company and will not be changed.
You car is now company property,
The company will insure your car, so that the company will lose nothing if you have an accident. Your deductible will be huge, and the company will profit from the insurance policy. But do not worry… the insurance premium will be deducted from your pay, and you will hardly notice it.
You are now required to use you car for company business.
You must pay for the gas out of your own pocket . The company will charge the customer for the fuel you bought and used, and give you a little more half of what they make on the fuel.
Your direct supervisor will now be a babbling idiot.
He will now require you to do things that are obviously stupid, to cover-up for his incompetence and lack of planning, you must also thank him for allowing you to do these tasks, no matter how much a waste of time and resources they are. All additional costs will be deducted from YOUR pay.
You are now required to buy an new car every 5 years.
If you can no afford a new car the company can lease you one. The company lease program charges 24% interest, and the selection is limited, so please hurry.
Open Door Policy, There isn’t any
Each employee must have a change of clothing and personal necessities that they may need in their car at all times,
If the company needs you to drive 18 hours to deliver a box that someone left off the Hub truck, after your 11 hour shift is up you must be prepared. Also your car is now subject to unannounced inspection by company or government personnel at any time.
Employees may now be required to sleep in their work area, with no advance notice and they must provide their own bedding.
The sleeping environment will be very noisy and you will be interrupted. And of course if you receive a alert via Nextel during this time you must answer it immediately even if it’s only a dispatcher who has forgotten that you are “off duty“.
You must now pay to use the company phone, for company business.
Don’t worry it will be deducted from your pay, you will hardly notice.
UGLYEGL Company uniforms are now mandatory,
Don’t worry it will be deducted from your pay, you will hardly notice
Each employee must maintain a record of how he or she spent each minute of every day.
These records will be submitted daily to the company and audited by company and government personnel. Any violations of these regulations will result in a heavy fine, reprimand, or termination
No matter how much work the employee has to do, it must be done within the time allotted for it.
And your logbook must miraculously prove this. Any violations of these regulations will result in a heavy fine, reprimand, or termination.
You are now required to attend MANDATORY, monthly safety meetings.
Meetings will be before your regular working hours, You will not be paid for attending, The Company will not even supply coffee and donuts, The meetings will be totally without any useful content. These meetings are held entirely to protect the companies ASSets.
You are expected to maintain a positive approach in all situations
and be cheerful, respectful and deferential in your dealings with management, other employees, customers, and the general public.
We appreciate suggestions, but if we feel that your comments could be seen in anyway of being critical of the company …you will be construed as having a bad attitude.
Finally, please don’t worry. Since you are office personnel, we will never ask you to do any of the truly nasty stuff, such as deal with crazy road-raging four-wheelers or negotiate with insolent dock guys, many of who don’t speak word one of English. You won’t be responsible for late night deliveries in dark and dangerous neighborhoods. And we certainly won’t expect you to drive through any raging snowstorms - let alone carry a 385 lb sofa up 3 narrow flights of stairs by yourself. We have contractors to do those things .
In a company wide effort to instill better understanding between Office Personnel and Driver/Contractors, all Office Personnel will now be required to follow a few new rules.
You must sign an employment contract written by company attorneys.
The contract is solely for the benefit of the company. You are not allowed to change it in any way. The company will totally ignore this contract. You however are expected to live up to your end of it. If you complain about the company not fulfilling its contractual obligations, you will be terminated for having a bad attitude.
The employment contract makes an additional job almost impossible.
You are on call for the company 24-7, other jobs are frowned upon.
If however someone will do your job for one cent less than you,
They will be used to do your job, and you can sit at home and wait for work.
*There is no more regular working hours,
You must call in to the office between 13:00 and 13:05 for your next days work schedule. If no one answers the phone, if the phone is busy, or if you forget to call, you do not work or get paid tomorrow, try again tomorrow for the following day.
*Please do not worry about this policy, because even if you call, get scheduled, and drive into work, there may be little or no work for you to do when you arrive, So you must sit in your work area all day and wait for work to do, without any pay of course.
You will also be required to wait for an indefinite amount of time before starting work, for no apparent reason.
During these periods, you must remain in your workspace, and you will never be paid compensation of any kind.
You are now on call 24 / 7
You will be alerted via Nextel, never mind its 2 am, that the kids are asleep and that you drank a 6-pack of beer, be in the office after being alerted in one hour or less. You MUST always respond to an alert, or you will be construed as having a bad attitude.
Your pay will now be a random number,
You will never understand how it was arrived at. The exact same job done on different days will pay differently. Your pay will vary by the season, by the day of the week, and by whom ever inputs your pay into the company payroll system. This person will usually be a newly hired individual who has no concept of the industry.
You are encouraged to complain about you pay,
The company feels that this is meaningful dialog.
Sometimes if you complain you be paid a little more. The next day however you will be paid much less. But the pay system works fine for the company and will not be changed.
You have 24 hours to get your pay mistakes corrected. After 24 hours and ONE minute it is beyond the companies power to make any upward adjustment in your pay. The system does not allow it. But the pay system works fine for the company and will not be changed.
Your pay will be VERY carefully audited to insure you are never over-paid.
Any mistakes in which you were over-paid will be corrected, even if the mistake is found WEEKS or MONTHS after the fact.
ANY and ALL mistakes where you are under-paid, no matter how excessively, will be ignored.
Your boss’s bonus will now be based upon how much money he can skim from you and your fellow employee’s pay. The pay system works fine for the company and will not be changed.
You car is now company property,
The company will insure your car, so that the company will lose nothing if you have an accident. Your deductible will be huge, and the company will profit from the insurance policy. But do not worry… the insurance premium will be deducted from your pay, and you will hardly notice it.
You are now required to use you car for company business.
You must pay for the gas out of your own pocket . The company will charge the customer for the fuel you bought and used, and give you a little more half of what they make on the fuel.
Your direct supervisor will now be a babbling idiot.
He will now require you to do things that are obviously stupid, to cover-up for his incompetence and lack of planning, you must also thank him for allowing you to do these tasks, no matter how much a waste of time and resources they are. All additional costs will be deducted from YOUR pay.
You are now required to buy an new car every 5 years.
If you can no afford a new car the company can lease you one. The company lease program charges 24% interest, and the selection is limited, so please hurry.
Open Door Policy, There isn’t any
Each employee must have a change of clothing and personal necessities that they may need in their car at all times,
If the company needs you to drive 18 hours to deliver a box that someone left off the Hub truck, after your 11 hour shift is up you must be prepared. Also your car is now subject to unannounced inspection by company or government personnel at any time.
Employees may now be required to sleep in their work area, with no advance notice and they must provide their own bedding.
The sleeping environment will be very noisy and you will be interrupted. And of course if you receive a alert via Nextel during this time you must answer it immediately even if it’s only a dispatcher who has forgotten that you are “off duty“.
You must now pay to use the company phone, for company business.
Don’t worry it will be deducted from your pay, you will hardly notice.
UGLYEGL Company uniforms are now mandatory,
Don’t worry it will be deducted from your pay, you will hardly notice
Each employee must maintain a record of how he or she spent each minute of every day.
These records will be submitted daily to the company and audited by company and government personnel. Any violations of these regulations will result in a heavy fine, reprimand, or termination
No matter how much work the employee has to do, it must be done within the time allotted for it.
And your logbook must miraculously prove this. Any violations of these regulations will result in a heavy fine, reprimand, or termination.
You are now required to attend MANDATORY, monthly safety meetings.
Meetings will be before your regular working hours, You will not be paid for attending, The Company will not even supply coffee and donuts, The meetings will be totally without any useful content. These meetings are held entirely to protect the companies ASSets.
You are expected to maintain a positive approach in all situations
and be cheerful, respectful and deferential in your dealings with management, other employees, customers, and the general public.
We appreciate suggestions, but if we feel that your comments could be seen in anyway of being critical of the company …you will be construed as having a bad attitude.
Finally, please don’t worry. Since you are office personnel, we will never ask you to do any of the truly nasty stuff, such as deal with crazy road-raging four-wheelers or negotiate with insolent dock guys, many of who don’t speak word one of English. You won’t be responsible for late night deliveries in dark and dangerous neighborhoods. And we certainly won’t expect you to drive through any raging snowstorms - let alone carry a 385 lb sofa up 3 narrow flights of stairs by yourself. We have contractors to do those things .
