On the "starter cable", OK, now I know what you mean. You won't need to disable that. You can leave it alone, just the way it is. The charging current that comes back though it is uber minimal, literally a trickle charge to replace the amps needed to start the generator in the first place. It'll send an amp or so, two max to the aux battery, and even then if there is another charging source connected to the battery, the voltage present in the battery from the other charging source will push back the trickle charge. The trickle charge will be around 13.0-13.2 volts, which isn't a "charging" voltage, it's more of a "maintaining" voltage. Remember voltage is like water pressure, the higher the voltage the higher the pressure.
The idea of using the generator for any 110 volt loads seems simple, but it's not quite as efficient as running the laptop off an inverter. With the generator running, it's generating a whole lot more electricity than you'll be using. Better to use the generator to run larger loads, like a battery charger to recharge the batteries, or an air conditioner, and then run the low amp loads like the laptop and such right off the aux battery. But it can certainly be done either way.
The benefit of that 3-way transfer switch is that you can add an inverter to it without any problems. And it can be a small one, like a 600W or 800W inverter.
To the transfer switch, you make a shore power connection, and connect the generator, and then plug any 110 volt loads right into the switch. Whatever source you are using, generator or shore, you'll have power. You'll plug a battery charger into the switch, so that whenever you have shore or generator power the aux battery will be charged.
You can get a battery isolator that works both ways, meaning if there is a charging source to the aux battery, the cranking battery will be connected and will be charged at the same time. As soon as the charging current disappears from either end (alternator or generator/shore), the cranking and aux battery are disconnected and isolated from each other.
It should be a rare thing when you have the van running and charging the aux battery, and the generator or shore power also connected and charging the aux battery at the same time. If you do that a lot or for extended periods, then you'll want to install something like
this between the isolator and the aux battery to shut off the circuit from the alternator.