A union man's dog

[AMonger]

Cut & paste. Illiteracy in original.


*** A UNION MANS DOG ***

Four workers were discussing how smart thier dogs were. The first was an engineer, who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named "T-Square" and he told him to get some paper and draw a square, a circle, and a triangle, which the dog did with no sweat.

The accountant said he thought his dog was better. His dog was named "Slide Rule." He told him to fetch a dozen cookies, bring them back, and divide them into piles of three, which he did with no problem.

The chemist said that was good, but he felt his dog was better. His dog "Measure" was told to get a quart of milk and pour seven ounces into a ten-ounce glass. The dog did this with no problem.

All three men agreed this was very good and their dogs were equally smart. They all turned to the Union Member and said "What can your dog do ?" The Teamster member called his dog, whose name was "Coffee Break" and said, "Show the fellows what you can do." "Coffee Break" went over and ate the cookies, drank the milk, **** on the paper, screwed the other three dogs and claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance for unsafe working conditions, applied for work-man's compensation and left for home on sick leave.

 

[zorry]

As a union member 19 years, I see little humor here.
Never had an on the job injury, took sick leave, or did anything I wouldn't do at a non-union job.
Many union workers go in and give a real good day's work because they are trying to protect their great situation.
Unfortunately most here only see UAW and USW members.
Both those unions took advantage of bad management and got carried away
Give a reasonable man a good union work crew and everyone can prosper.
And be profitable.
When the guy negotiating is spending HiS own money and is reasonable, it can work.
With GM, Ford,,etc it got crazy because management wasn't spending their own money.
I dislike putting up with the stupid stuff as much as the next guy. I drove out of US Steel 8 years, and GM 12 years. I've seen Stupid Stuff.
I never did anything but work hard to protect my employer's bottom line. In hope that he could stay profitable and keep me in my situation.

 

[Ragman]

As a union member 19 years, I see little humor here.
Never had an on the job injury, took sick leave, or did anything I wouldn't do at a non-union job.
Many union workers go in and give a real good day's work because they are trying to protect their great situation.
Unfortunately most here only see UAW and USW members.
Both those unions took advantage of bad management and got carried away
Give a reasonable man a good union work crew and everyone can prosper.
And be profitable.
When the guy negotiating is spending HiS own money and is reasonable, it can work.
With GM, Ford,,etc it got crazy because management wasn't spending their own money.
I dislike putting up with the stupid stuff as much as the next guy. I drove out of US Steel 8 years, and GM 12 years. I've seen Stupid Stuff.
I never did anything but work hard to protect my employer's bottom line. In hope that he could stay profitable and keep me in my situation.

Well said, my friend, well said.

 

[AMonger]

Union-ism is unethical & immoral at its core, and should be illegal--as currently practiced. Nothing wrong with voluntary collective bargaining, but coercion is another matter.

WWATD? What would Andy Taylor do?

 

[Turtle]

As a union member 19 years, I see little humor here.

How about here?

Two managers and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war...could you help me?" "Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."

Or here?

A union negotiator was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who said "I am a powerful genie. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."

The union negotiator pulled out a map and said "I'd like there to be a just and lasting peace among the people in the Middle East."

The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I am very powerful and can do just about anything, but this is beyond even my limits."

“OK,” the negotiator said, "Well, I’m a union negotiator, please make every one of our members happy with the contract proposal, and let the bosses make reasonable requests."

The genie considered this and then said, "Uh, let me see that map again."

 

[zorry]

I chuckled. Cute.