A New Story With New Writers, Please!!

[mypie]

which just goes to prove that men are weak. Even ducks are smarter then men. And, women should rule the world because men have screwed everything up.

 

[layoutshooter]

But Layoutshooter, being a "super brain" , knows that ducks are not really what they are "quacked up" to be. Layoutshooter

 

[letzrockexpress]

While layoutshooter was not being fooled by the lovely decoy, his flying saucer shaped boat sprung a leak. As he was looking for something to stuff in the hole Chef floated up and.......

 

[layoutshooter]

and handed him some very sticky bread dough

 

[mypie]

. . . you know, the green kind. Dough man! Chef said, "Hey, Layout! Got this sticky dough and I need you to get it laundered. Think you can handle that?"

Layout, looking at the dough said, "No problem." Then off Layout went to the laundrymat. He threw the cash into the washer and looked at the guy next to him and said, "how much detergent should I use to wash all this money? And, what temp should I set it at? Gentle cycle, right?

 

[cruzer]

The guy looked down his nose at layout and asked,did you say gentle cycle? Layout said yeah gentle cycle,the guy then said follow me.They walked over to one of the big tumble dryers and it slid to the side,under the dryer was a staircase,the guy said when you come to a door knock once and repeat the password gentle cycle.Layout,not knowing what he was in for thought what the heck,and down the stairs he went.After what seamed like forever he finaly came to a door,he nocked once and said gentle cycle and the door opened and he was shocked at what he found,there were a bunch of men dressed in camo and hipwaders and women with nothing on but a few duck feathers,just one feather here and one feather there,two there, OH, and one there too.A man came over and wellcomed him to the "Ducks NoLimited Club" and told him when he was ready to leave just go to the back room and they would give him his bag limit for the day so his wife wouldn't get wise.About that time he heard a familiar,WOO HOO!!from across the room and was surprised to find dougtravels.He told doug,I didn't know you were a duck hunter and doug said I'm not but Ido like women in feathers and let out another loud WOOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!and then.......

 

[letzrockexpress]

Greg's maid shows up ( he's independently wealthy you know) and says "what the he*ll are you doing with my feather duster??!! I have been looking all over for it and now it's ruined"! There was a lot of him hawing around about who destroyed the feather duster when an odd, eerie squeeling sound began coming from outside the door. Doug threw open the door and who do you think was there? The spirit of the pig who got roasted, and he is pi*ssed!! Doug ran out the door with the pig spirit right on his heels. He nearly escaped his wrath when......

 

[inkasnana]

Doug suddenly found himself flying through the air and landing flat on his back with a thump. As he lay there dazed, stars and birdies flying in a circle around his head, the pig spirit stood over Doug growling menacingly and drooling heavily. (I didn't know spirits could drool either, but apparently they can)

Noticing the trouble that Doug was about to get himself into, and also noticing that he was out of his mind in la-la land and completely unaware of the pig spirit that was about to make him his lunch (Yeah, I know, but go with it), Layoutshooter quickly grabbed his gun and took careful aim. Just as he was about to pull the trigger, Doug started laughing hysterically because of the pig spirit drool that was trickling down his neck. He suddenly raised up his legs and sent the pig spirit flying up into the air.

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" yelled Layoutshooter, as he fired 3 times at the flying pig spirit. Of course, being spirit in nature the shots went right through the pig, swirling his spirit form in all directions and completely mixing him up. A sudden gust of wind blew the pig spirit away and his squealing could be heard for minutes after. Still laughing and kicking his legs, Doug...

 

[letzrockexpress]

mumbled to himself, mmmmmm, piggieeeeeeee. It was just about this time that layoutshooter was hitch hiking down the road with his bag limit over his shoulder. A VW microbus full of old deadheads on their way to a Dead show stopped, and though they were a little taken back by the dead ducks he was carrying, asked if he wanted a ride. He said sure and jumped in. As they rode along Layout began telling them about his life's adventures as a Spy, living in England, Obama is bad, etc. Before you know it they were like "Hey man, yer like freakin' us out, man" and tossed him out on the road. It wasn't long before.....

 

[DougTravels]

Layout realized that his bag of Ducks were still in the van full of Deadheads! The thought of those Deadheads eating his ducks made him very angry. So angry in fact that Layout ...............

 

[letzrockexpress]

made a call to one of his old buddies at the NSA and had him begin a surveilance of the microbus via a satellite positioned high above the earth. As the deadheads were being tracked, It turns out one of the ducks was not totally dead, just a little groggy. It began stumbling around inside the van to the horror and surpise of the deadheads. All of the sudden....