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A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbors' male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds...

You guys are all over the board. I think I'll bet to WIN with four teams, and maybe that will give me a contender at playoff time and I can raise my bet. I'm going to go Kansas City, Pittsburgh, New England, and the last one I'l pick when I see the odds.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 98%.. It's called Wedding Cake. Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. Why do women fake orgasms ? Because they...

Two little boys are going to the hospital the next day for operations. Theirs will be first on the schedule. The older boy leans over and asks, "What are you having done?" The second boy says, "I'm getting my tonsils out, and I'm afraid." The first boy says, "You've got...

You can doctor this a little to make it your type of chocolate. The serve it with a pistol laying beside the plate, because after eating this your guest will want to commit suicide. It just doesn't get any better for a chocoholic. INGREDIENTS 1 package regular Oreo cookies (Not Double...

________________________________ BLACK GIRLFRIENDS I HAVE DATED By Tiger Woods ____________________________________________ THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY By Jane Fonda and Cindy Sheehan Illustrated by Michael Moore Foreword by George Soros...

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while...

A camel jockey immigrant goes to a Doctor and says "I feel terrible". The Doctor says "You need to urinate and crap in a bucket for a week, throw in a dead fish, and a rotting cabbage. Put a towel over your head, and inhale the vapours for 3 days". The man does this, and goes back to...

I'm not a big sports fan, but I need a couple of teams to throw down some bets when watching a game and downing a few at the local betting parlor with the boys.What I see and what I read, I'm going to have to make a couple bets on Kansas City.

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed A computer chip that can store and play high fidelity Music in women's breast implants. The iBOOB will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 Depending on speaker size. This is considered to be a major...

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction! After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to...

I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid . He says he can stop any time. How...

Maverick, and Murray...First, I vote for humor only. Secondly, if someone wants to hijack the thread, and turn it into a political football,have at it. In hindsight, I erred in not removing the comment at the end.

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim Terrorists are so quick to commit suicide. Lets have a look at the evidence: - No Christmas - No television - No nude women - No football - No pork chops - No hot dogs - No burgers - No beer - No bacon - Rags for clothes - Towels...

Dog Goldberg Machine by Beneful® - YouTube

Panhandler Party - YouTube

100 Most Often <strike>Mispelled</strike> Misspelled Words in English

Holy poo poo Batman! When I was sent the original piece, quotes and all, I never thought it would be accepted in any way other than the humor that it was intended to be. I never imagined it would be cleverly hijacked to vent one's own view of anything. I'd seen those quotes attributed to Lincoln...

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her...

Part I ....... (This is absolutely brilliant!) A. Back off and let those men who want to marry men, marry men. B. Allow those women who want to marry women, marry women. C. Allow those folks who want to abort their babies, abort their babies. D. In three generations, there will be...