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One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood...

Number 10 Only in America could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 per plate Obama campaign fund-raising event. Number 9 Only in America ...could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they have a black President, a...

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!! A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke...

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him. IRS AUDITOR: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them". Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay...

In a recent survey carried out for the leading toiletries firm 'Brut', people from Chicago have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower! In the survey, 86% of Chicago's inner city residents (almost all of whom are registered Democrats) say that they have enjoyed sex in the...

Who knows what, if any of this, is true, but they make for some good yarns. Two things of note: Most of these expressions have been around a lot longer that we realize and I love that their derivation is so colorful. How many of these did you know?? Early...

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said ...in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What...

Dyson Vac Commerical

https://www.youtube.com/embed/TX9EAavxrus

Food City- Salute

1.Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left? BECAUSE: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the...

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. USER...

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno~ The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII~ We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office ~Aesop~ If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these...

Here is an email sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins. Dear Mr. Page... I always love your articles. and I generally agree with them. I would suggest, as in an email I received, they change the...

Why did the British wear red coats in battle? During the royal wedding, the millions around the world saw that Prince William chose to wear a uniform that included the famous British ‘red coat’. Many people have asked, ‘Why did the British wear red coats in battle?’ A long time ago...

Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was...

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction! The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man...

Penguin Goes Shopping

A guy is walking along a Florida beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish. The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever." "Sorry," said the genie...

Mensa Question........... You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off. And, on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but, your horse is...