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I see lots of opinions on this forum, addressing every question that prospective newbies would like answered. Most are valid and thoughtful answers from the point of view of the author. Some are transparent garbage from wannabe trucking experts. The truth is that none of us are true experts...

1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative. 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me. 4. I don't do drugs. I get the same...

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?" The...

And what are you looking for in 2004? Put it down here, and not necessarily your trucking accomplishments only. I ran less this year than in previous years, but it was my choice, not business slowdown. I probably actually ran under 6 months the whole year, and some of that was for a friend...

The sleigh was all packed, the reindeer were fed, But Santa still knelt by the side of the bed. "Dear Father," he prayed "Be with me tonight. There's much work to do and my schedule is tight. I must jump in my sleigh and streak through the sky, Knowing full well that a reindeer can't fly. I will...

My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me one of those new mood rings the other day so he would be able to monitor my mood swings. When I'm in agood mood, it turns a lovely shade of green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves big f#!!%#!! red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time...

I just got a copy of this in my inbox, and you can imagine how startled I was reading that unions have gone as far as the North Pole. Please explain this to your readers. Letter FROM Santa Claus... I regret to inform you that effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the...

Santa My Man....Just send me someplace warm, and for a gift when I get there, I´d like a very large beach towel, and a wet girl. Maybe she will turn out to be what I´ve been looking for. Loaded. Gorgeous. Can´t keep her hands off me. And is too proud to have HER MAN work for a living. Also a...

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: October 01, 2003 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar...

These classes are also learning intensive and will only accomodate eight participants per class. Cell phones must be left at the front desk. 1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before 2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits 3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits...

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each. Topic 1. How to fill ice-cube trays. Step by step with slide presentation. Topic 2. Lavatory paper rolls: do they grow on the holders? Round-table discussion...

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries...... but, now we know. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist. If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy. If you work too hard...there's never any time...

One beautiful December evening, Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting, overlooking the ocean. There was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said, "Hey, let's play Weeweechu." "Oh no, not now, let's just look at the moon" said Jung Lee. "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play...

Tony...Your funniest!lol

December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards. December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine. December 3 Using candlewick and handgilded miniature pine...

This comes under the heading of yuo can see why we´re in trouble. We are all familiar with the famous poem. Read this.. T'was the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic energy was not in evidence among...

funny juju!

Much has been written over the years about what makes a great relationship.Poets have taken a shot at it, as well as psyhcologists,advice columinists, talk show hosts, and the list goes on. Here are five basic rules to consider from a man´s point of view. THE PERFECT RELATIONSHIP 1. It's...

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. 5. Artificial...

How about when your about to whiz your pants and you´re running for the restroom and it´s "closed for cleaning" Also..when you´re browsing thru the truck paper or other publications, and you see something that catches your eye, and you look to see if you can swing the cost, and it says "call...