Truck Driver stories

[Bruno]

After reading another post that made me laugh so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes. What are some of the crazy driver stories you have been told? They don't have to be ture just funny. I can't think of any right now because I'm still laughing about the monkey one.

 

[BigBusBob]

Ok Bruno, to get things started on this... how about 3 True stories in 1 reply...

1st, when I drove expediter I had a run that was supposed to be a hand load with lumpers. Got to p/u and No Lumpers. then the terminal dock workers couldn't find the load. They ended up unloading 1/2 of a 28 foot pup trailer to find it... 115 Living room rugs. Big Living room rugs. I loaded them. Hauled them. Got a qualcomm msg asking if it went ok - sure, no lumpers I told them. Asked if I wanted lumpers on the other end, I told them 115 living room rugs, in the south, in the summer, what do you think? The guys were waiting on the other end. And I didn't touch 1 rug on the other end.

2nd, Driving Bus (got many bus stories), I had to back up the side of a mountain in NC because what was thought to be a service/frontage road was actually a Forestry Service Road... with a locked gate at the end. I backed up a 45 foot bus in the pouring rain... 5 miles. it took 2 hours. The drop off on the right side wasn't even protected by a guardrail.

Driving 18 wheeler, I came to Fairplay, CO on Route 9 in the snow thru 2 hairpin curves... and when I say hairpin, I mean the 2 turns were so sharp I could see the back of the trailer from the cab without straining to see it. The Tunnel was closed due to snow. and there was avalanche reduction going on in the pass (where they fire a cannon into the snow on the mountainside to start an avalanche).

Some of my favorites are driving a bus: Throwing a tour leaders cell phone out the window as I was driving - in a construction zone at nite with a light rain falling. She pressed the phone up to my ear with no warning and I got so mad... I forgot to think 1st. The bus co. understood - and simply told me not to throw anymore phones out the window.

Emptying a holding tank into 2 black trash bags.

How about telling a passenger that the blue stuff with white flecks leaking from the bus is actually a new kind of transmission fluid with lubricating pellets.

Actual questions I've been asked: Is the toilet on the cruise ships hold fresh or salt water?
What time is the Midnight Chocolate Buffet?
Does the crew sleep onboard the cruise ships?
I can't make this up! Just when u think you've seen the stupidest and/or craziest, and/or met the dummest person - humans have one more thats even better.
I love that bumper sticker: your village called, their missing their idiot.

Driving 18 wheeler thru the nite in snow, you stop at daybreak only to find that your landing gear of your trailer is entirely covered with snow and ice.
How about a trailer drop yard so tight that nearly every trailer is literally squeezed into their slots. How about a tow truck coming to pull u out of ice and the tow truck gets stuck on ice with you... as he's pulling you out!

That should be a good start to this thread.

BigBusBob

 

[moose]

this happened in Europe ,but still count i think.
when i was a teen ,i have spent the summer working at a large garage ,
the owner was a glider enthusiastic ,and was flaying his glider almost every free weekend he got.
toward the end of the summer he was invited to fly along with a gliding club owner out of Germany.

they had a good long flight ,turbulence where perfect and a strong stady wind .
they log over 450 klicks (KM) in one day.
as they landed on a farm area , the hosts called his wife back home ,told her where they are .
he asked her to take the glider enclosed trailer from the barn ,and come to pick them up.
she did.
she arrived there on Sat. night.
and in early morning they whet to the open field where the glider was still sitting .
they opened the trailer .
and ,
ye'p.
there was a glider inside !!!
the wife drove over 500 klicks with the wrong trailer , she took the one that had a glider inside...
there is room for only one glider per trailer.




Moose.

 

[x06col]

The other day I wuz driving thru (trying to) Chicago, Got in a stopage on I90 for a bit. Soon came a rap on my window, an a fella says he wuz taking donations for a hostage situation. He explained that Sharpton, Jackson Winfrey, an some others had been kidnapped, an the kidnappers were demanding 4 mil to be paid tomorrow, or they would throw gas on the kidnapees an burn em.

So's not to be extravigant, but still wanting to help, I asked what the average donation wuz. The fella replied- - - bout a gallon.

 

[cheri1122]

Col, no one would ever accuse you of extravagance, but you can be generous, I bet - did you think 3 gallons enough?

 

[Bruno]

A few year back I was headed home to Akron, Ohio from Columbus, Oh on I71 when I see this truck on fire. It was a Swift truck going south. Traffic was going slow on the north bound side because the truck was burning really bad. Just as we got up to where the truck was the tires on the truck blew off the truck and was headed right for us. The grass in the middle of the road stopped the tires from hitting the truck. Now the trailer was starting to go up. We pulled over on the side of the road to see if the drivers made it out of the truck. The fire trucks had not made it to the burning truck yet and I hear these pops coming from the trailer now. The Truck was loaded with gallons of water going to Walmart. I was laughing now. I got on the CB and said I know what Swift stand for now, Sure, Wish, I had a, Fire, Truck. Every one was laughing now.

 

[arkjarhead]

The drivers that tell all about their time in the Special Forces and doing "Super Secret Government Work" but they are out on the road, and most are working for peanuts.

 

[Moot]

Originally posted on the Layover Lounge, May 2007


C.B. Radio Theater
The following is a true story. It happened out on the road late one night like all good stories do. The names have been changed because I don't remember them and they really aren't important. I will refer to the stars of this broadcast as Ben and Jerry.

I was driving late one night in the early 1980's and I was listening in on a conversation between two other drivers. I could hear them off in the distance and their signal was gradually getting stronger. Ben was trying to pry some terrible secret from Jerry. Ben would tell Jerry that it would be therapeutic if he talked about it. Jerry would start to open up and then his voice would crack and he would say it is just too terible to talk about. Ben kept prodding him with questions. When asked how long ago since this incident happened, Ben replied, 10 years ago this July. He remembered it was hot and very humid. Then he broke down and said he couldn't talk about it. It was still too painful.

I'm thinking this guy has some war story from Vietnam or came upon some horrific traffic accident and it had bothered him all these years. For this short period of time and this limited radio range these two guys owned channel 19. Nobody cut in on their conversation. Nobody tried to pick a fight. Everyone was quiet waiting for Jerry to spill his guts.

Finally with more coaxing from Ben, Jerry began his story. His voice was filled with emotion and he sounded like he was fighting back tears. He started again... It was a hot, humid night in July. I had just pulled into a Union 76 truck stop and was getting ready for bed. It had rained earlier and steam was rising from the hot pavement. I had both windows rolled down and was lying on top of the bed covers wearing my Spider Man jammies. Looking back now I realize it was the Spider Man jammies that saved my life.

Right on cue Ben asks how pajamas saved his life. Jerry continued... I was just dozing off when I heard a loud distant rumble and felt the truck shake. (I'm thinking earthquake story at this point) The rumbling got louder and the truck pitched from side to side. I sprang from my bunk and through the open window, doing a tuck and roll as I hit the ground. I ended up safely under my trailer hiding behind the duals. It was the Spider Man jammies that allowed me to quickly get to safety. As I peered out from between the tires I saw a huge spaceship land. A hoard of Ventians, not those gondola paddling guys from Italy, but real Ventians. The kind that come from Venus were exiting the spacecraft.

Jerry went on to describe these Ventians as about 3 feet tall with a rotating stainless steal drill bit type appendage protruding from their chests. This appendage was used to bore a hole into the kneecap of a human victim and then could suck the intelligence right out of that person. Jerry went on in detail describing the chaos he witnessed unfolding in that truck stop lot. He said he saw a huge man leave the restaurant with a thermos of coffee in each hand. The man was barefoot, wearing bib overalls and no shirt. He strolled across the parking lot without a care in the world. A Ventian approached him and the giant man just looked down and smiled. That's when the Ventian drilled him in the kneecap and sucked out all his intelligence. Jerry said he looked into the big man's eyes and could see a light on but nobody was home.

Again on cue Ben asked about the Ventians. Jerry explained that the huge orange Union 76 balls were beacons to guide Ventian spaceships. And that the Ventians had entered into a deal with the railroads to gain control of the trucking industry and eventually the country. He pointed out that one never sees a Teamster official wearing shorts. That's because of the telltale scar on the kneecap. Even Teddy Kennedy doesn't wear shorts when sailing off the coast of Martha's Vineyard. He's got something to hide. He went on about the plot against the trucking industry and included the government and oil companies. Very entertaining.

Eventually Ben and Jerry passed me and were out of radio range. It is hard to explain just how professional and riveting this broadcast was. All it needed was some organ music and cheesey sound effects and it could pass for an old time radio show.

I have to admit that most of what is heard on channel 19 is garbage, but occasionally you come across a gem. I did and still get a chuckle thinking about it.

I retold this tale to a friend I ran with every night. He got a kick out of it. Whenever our terminal manager or dispatch came up with some stupid idea, we would look at each other and say, "I don't believe I have ever seen that person in shorts." So if you know somebody that never wears shorts and acts as though all their intelligence has been sucked out of them, they may have a small circular scar on their kneecap.

 

[Bruno]

That was a very good post. Oh, I always wear shorts year round.

 

[Scuba]

This week i loaded out in Farmington NM after doing the paperwork in the office the shipper came out to check the vents on the trailer. While walking out to the trailer she asks me "is your truck parked" i grabed her by the arm and yelled stop she said why so i told her dam i forgot to park it so it should be by any min now we can wait here.

 

[Scuba]

The drivers that tell all about their time in the Special Forces and doing "Super Secret Government Work" but they are out on the road, and most are working for peanuts.

Yea i love that i was the only trucker in the Army because everyone else i met that was in the service was spec opps no regular joes

 

[cheri1122]

I just can't believe that 'Ben & Jerry' story. I was totally buying it, up to the part where the driver exited the restaurant barefoot & shirtless, with coffee in each hand - but we all know the rule: "No shirt & shoes, no service"
I'm still gonna be checking out knees, though.

 

[pelicn]

Hahaha Cheri you're quick! I didn't even think of the no shirt no shoes......DUH

Scuba...did you hear "here's your sign?"

 

[bludragon13]

Yea i love that i was the only trucker in the Army because everyone else i met that was in the service was spec opps no regular joes

Scuba, I agree the only one i hear more is i'm a vietnam vet,which i always ask, what unit,what company,where were you stationed. i find the truth in short order- most are wannabs.on a different subject did you know according to a poll done in the '90s there were actually 8million people at woodstock.

 

[Moot]

I am one of a handful of people over 50 years old that did not attend Woodstock. Like what did I miss, man? Me and Jimmy Janos were on a secret mission that summer.

 

[EagleRiverWI]

Moot, what ever happened to your friend Jack Mehoff that you wrote about a year ago?
That was another great trucker story.

 

[Moot]

Jack died while practicing the Blown Steer Tire Reaction Drill (http://www.expeditersonline.com/forum/general-expediter-forum/30100-takes-cake.html)

And Jimmy went on to become the Governor of Minnesota.