The following is an actual exam question given on University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why I can pass it on to you.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
Therefore, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell
and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safety assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
"As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since most people
do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that most
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially."
"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So, which is it?
"If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa during my Freshman
year, "* that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you",
and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having that event take place, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
"The student received the only "A" given!
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why I can pass it on to you.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
Therefore, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell
and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safety assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
"As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since most people
do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that most
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially."
"Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So, which is it?
"If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa during my Freshman
year, "* that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you",
and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having that event take place, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
"The student received the only "A" given!