> Long ago and far away,
> In a land that time forgot,
> Before the days of Dylan,
> Or the dawn of Camelot.
>
> There lived a race of innocents,
> And they were you and me,
> Long ago and far away
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> For Ike was in the White House
> In that land where we were born,
> Where navels were for oranges,
> And Peyton Place was porn.
>
> We learned to gut a muffler,
> We washed our hair at dawn,
> We spread our crinolines to dry
> In circles on the lawn.
>
> We longed for love & romance,
> And waited for our Prince,
> And Eddie Fisher married Liz,
> And no one's seen him since.
>
> We danced to "Little Darlin",
> And Sang to "Stagger Lee"
> And cried for Buddy Holly
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> Only girls wore earrings then,
> And 3 was one too many,
> And only boys wore flat-top cuts,
> Except for Jean McKinney.
>
> And only in our wildest dreams
> Did we expect to see
> A boy named George with Lipstick,
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We fell for Frankie Avalon,
> Annette was oh, so nice,
> And when they made a movie,
> They never made it twice.
>
> We didn't have a Star Trek Five,
> Or Psycho Two & Three,
> Or Rockey-Rambo Twenty
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,
> And Chester had a limp,
> And Reagan was a Democrat
> Whose co-star was a chimp.
>
> We had a Mr Wizard,
> But not a Mr T,
> And Oprah couldn't talk yet
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We had our share of heroes,
> We never thought they'd go,
> At least not Bobby Darin,
> Or Marilyn Monroe.
>
> For youth was still eternal,
> And life was yet to be,
> And Elvis was forever
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We'd never seen the rock band
> That was Grateful to be Dead,
> And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson,
> And Zeppelins were not Led.
>
> And Beatles lived in gardens then,
> And Monkees lived in trees,
> Madonna was a virgin
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We'd never heard of microwaves,
> Or telephones in cars,
> And babies might be bottle-fed,
> But they weren't grown in jars.
>
> And pumping iron got wrinkles out,
> And "gay" meant fancy-free,
> And dorms were never coed
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We hadn't seen enough of jets
> To talk about the lag,
> And microchips were what was left
> At the bottom of the bag.
>
> And Hardware was a box of nails,
> And bytes came from a flea,
> And rocket ships were fiction
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> Buick's came with portholes,
> And side shows came with freaks,
> And bathing suits came big enough
> To cover both your cheeks.
>
> And Coke came just in bottles,
> And skirts came to the knee,
> And Castro came to power
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We had no Crest with Fluoride,
> We had no Hill Street Blues,
> We all wore superstructure bras
> Designed by Howard Hughes.
>
> We had no patterned pantyhose
> Or Lipton herbal tea
> Or prime-time ads for condoms
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> There were no golden arches,
> No Perrier to chill,
> And fish were not called Wanda,
> And cats were not called Bill.
>
> And middle-aged was 35
> And old was forty-three,
> And ancient was our parents
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> But all things have a season,
> Or so we've heard them say,
> And now instead of Maybelline
> We swear by Retin-A.
>
> And they send us invitations
> To join AARP,
> We've come a long way, baby,
> From the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> So now we face a brave new world
> In slightly larger jeans,
> And wonder why they're using
> Smaller print in magazines.
>
> And we tell our children's children
> Of the way it used to be,
> Long ago and far away
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> In a land that time forgot,
> Before the days of Dylan,
> Or the dawn of Camelot.
>
> There lived a race of innocents,
> And they were you and me,
> Long ago and far away
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> For Ike was in the White House
> In that land where we were born,
> Where navels were for oranges,
> And Peyton Place was porn.
>
> We learned to gut a muffler,
> We washed our hair at dawn,
> We spread our crinolines to dry
> In circles on the lawn.
>
> We longed for love & romance,
> And waited for our Prince,
> And Eddie Fisher married Liz,
> And no one's seen him since.
>
> We danced to "Little Darlin",
> And Sang to "Stagger Lee"
> And cried for Buddy Holly
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> Only girls wore earrings then,
> And 3 was one too many,
> And only boys wore flat-top cuts,
> Except for Jean McKinney.
>
> And only in our wildest dreams
> Did we expect to see
> A boy named George with Lipstick,
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We fell for Frankie Avalon,
> Annette was oh, so nice,
> And when they made a movie,
> They never made it twice.
>
> We didn't have a Star Trek Five,
> Or Psycho Two & Three,
> Or Rockey-Rambo Twenty
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,
> And Chester had a limp,
> And Reagan was a Democrat
> Whose co-star was a chimp.
>
> We had a Mr Wizard,
> But not a Mr T,
> And Oprah couldn't talk yet
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We had our share of heroes,
> We never thought they'd go,
> At least not Bobby Darin,
> Or Marilyn Monroe.
>
> For youth was still eternal,
> And life was yet to be,
> And Elvis was forever
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We'd never seen the rock band
> That was Grateful to be Dead,
> And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson,
> And Zeppelins were not Led.
>
> And Beatles lived in gardens then,
> And Monkees lived in trees,
> Madonna was a virgin
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We'd never heard of microwaves,
> Or telephones in cars,
> And babies might be bottle-fed,
> But they weren't grown in jars.
>
> And pumping iron got wrinkles out,
> And "gay" meant fancy-free,
> And dorms were never coed
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We hadn't seen enough of jets
> To talk about the lag,
> And microchips were what was left
> At the bottom of the bag.
>
> And Hardware was a box of nails,
> And bytes came from a flea,
> And rocket ships were fiction
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> Buick's came with portholes,
> And side shows came with freaks,
> And bathing suits came big enough
> To cover both your cheeks.
>
> And Coke came just in bottles,
> And skirts came to the knee,
> And Castro came to power
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> We had no Crest with Fluoride,
> We had no Hill Street Blues,
> We all wore superstructure bras
> Designed by Howard Hughes.
>
> We had no patterned pantyhose
> Or Lipton herbal tea
> Or prime-time ads for condoms
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> There were no golden arches,
> No Perrier to chill,
> And fish were not called Wanda,
> And cats were not called Bill.
>
> And middle-aged was 35
> And old was forty-three,
> And ancient was our parents
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> But all things have a season,
> Or so we've heard them say,
> And now instead of Maybelline
> We swear by Retin-A.
>
> And they send us invitations
> To join AARP,
> We've come a long way, baby,
> From the Land That Made Me Me.
>
> So now we face a brave new world
> In slightly larger jeans,
> And wonder why they're using
> Smaller print in magazines.
>
> And we tell our children's children
> Of the way it used to be,
> Long ago and far away
> In the Land That Made Me Me.
>
