THANKS FOR CARING

[louixo]

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your damn chain letters over the past three or four years. Thank you for
making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern...
I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the
rat feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al
Qaida in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
American troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid
number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica,
Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they contain will
turn me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and
leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their
recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me! I
will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your crotch. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend
of a friend.

Have a fine day.

 

[RichM]

OK this is one I had to forward on..

 

[Crazynuff]

What gets me is forwards that go on and on regardless of age - like the one saying the guy that originated the hokey pokey died last week is still around 6 months later . I have the urban legend and hoax sites in favorites . I've gotten really irate letters when from people that sent me false info after I've hit the " reply all " key and exposed the fraud . " Thanks for making me look like a fool " Some people even get so mad they don't e-mail me anymore . .

 

[Twmaster]

>What gets me is forwards that go on and on regardless of age
>- like the one saying the guy that originated the hokey
>pokey died last week is still around 6 months later . I have
>the urban legend and hoax sites in favorites .

Yea me too. My favorite is www.snopes.com

>I've gotten
>really irate letters when from people that sent me false
>info after I've hit the " reply all " key and exposed the
>fraud.

Good for you!

>" Thanks for making me look like a fool "

Um, clue phone, it's for you. I didn't make you look like a fool. You did it *all* by your self!

>Some people even get so mad they don't e-mail me anymore . .

And this is bad how? <Big grin>

--
Mike N