Tell me this won't happen to us

louixo

Veteran Expediter
Charter Member
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!



An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report
that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she
explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
even the accelerator!' she cried. The dispatcher said,
'Stay calm. An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!


________________________________________________________________________


Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts
her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is
sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I
never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then
yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as
I see who's at the door.'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!


________________________________________________________________________


'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'


Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
'it's Thursday.’ And the third man chimed in,
'So am I. Let's have a beer.'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!


_______________________________________________________________________

Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!


Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.


One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know
we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is.


Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How
soon do you need to know?'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!


_______________________________________________________________________


SENIOR DRIVING


As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
'It's not just one car... It's hundreds of them!'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!!
_________________________________________________________________


DRIVING


Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
but they just went on through The woman in the passenger
seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
have sworn we just went through a red light.'


After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
and the light was red Again, they went right through. The
woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
it. She was getting nervous.


At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman
and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
both!'


Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'


TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US
 

AMonger

Veteran Expediter
Aging can be pretty frightening. Sometimes during family get-togethers (funny how auto-correct changes that to torturers), we play Uno. It's frightening that we sometimes have to remind our elderly parents what would be a valid play. "Any red, a 7, or a wild card..."
 

AMonger

Veteran Expediter
I worked first aid and crowd/parking control at an event where there was also a keno hall. Lots of elderly ladies came to play keno there every day. Every day we were there, this one lady forgot where she parked. We had to load her in the golf cart and drive her around to find it. Every day.

One day, one of the guys on foot saw it and radioed in where it was. So I loaded in the golf cart and took her there. As we approached that lot, she said, "Oh, it's not in that lot. I never park in that lot."

That day, she did, without realizing it apparently. I was a bit worried about her getting back on the road. I'm surprised she didn't head for home and next thing you know, she's in California.
 

skyraider

Veteran Expediter
US Navy
I worked first aid and crowd/parking control at an event where there was also a keno hall. Lots of elderly ladies came to play keno there every day. Every day we were there, this one lady forgot where she parked. We had to load her in the golf cart and drive her around to find it. Every day.

One day, one of the guys on foot saw it and radioed in where it was. So I loaded in the golf cart and took her there. As we approached that lot, she said, "Oh, it's not in that lot. I never park in that lot."

That day, she did, without realizing it apparently. I was a bit worried about her getting back on the road. I'm surprised she didn't head for home and next thing you know, she's in California.


I write on my palm now when in a walmart or other big parking lot what row im in, lol,,,and that was when I was in my 4os,,,oooomy
 

paullud

Veteran Expediter
I worked first aid and crowd/parking control at an event where there was also a keno hall. Lots of elderly ladies came to play keno there every day. Every day we were there, this one lady forgot where she parked. We had to load her in the golf cart and drive her around to find it. Every day.

One day, one of the guys on foot saw it and radioed in where it was. So I loaded in the golf cart and took her there. As we approached that lot, she said, "Oh, it's not in that lot. I never park in that lot."

That day, she did, without realizing it apparently. I was a bit worried about her getting back on the road. I'm surprised she didn't head for home and next thing you know, she's in California.

In California or parked inside a Kmart because she thought the car was in drive and not reverse.

Posted with my Droid EO Forum App
 

leezaback

Seasoned Expediter
Owner/Operator
I make lists then forget where I put them. if I get that bad-please-someone shoot me so I can be put out of others misery!
Thanks for te tickle.
;)
 

cheri1122

Veteran Expediter
Driver
I write on my palm now when in a walmart or other big parking lot what row im in, lol,,,and that was when I was in my 4os,,,oooomy

Garmin has a GPS for that, lol. Designed to be taken with you when you leave the vehicle, [mostly for tourists], it will guide you back to it when you're ready.
I don't want one - having to look for the truck I've misplaced accounts for almost half my exercise program. ;)
PS The golfers sound more like the Marx Brothers than geezers. :D
 
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