So I nearly killed us

[ftp000]

Last Thurs here in Myrtle Beach, we decided we needed a few days off and came home, we went to the bank and planned to pick up my Mother in-law and head to Sam's Club, When leaving the bank I needed to turn left onto bus 17, I had to cross 2 lanes to a middle area then go left. To our left about 200 yards the light had just turned green and a logging truck was slowly working his way thru the gears in the right lane, it popped into my head that I could go because he was so slow, for that split second I forgot about the left lane, which I couldn't see, so I went. In the left lane an 80 year old man was rapidly gaining speed, I was straddling the middle lane when my wife yelled the we going to be hit, I looked left saw it was hopeless and braced myself for the car that was heading right at my door doing between 45 and 50, the old man (probably due to his slow reflexes) never even lifted off the gas. He hit us T-bone style right in my door, because he didn't hit the break he kept coming and the nose of his car wedged us over and we ended up on our side, uninjured! We were pretty sore for a few days, but otherwise physically fine. The old man was taken to the hospital but the medics told us he was going to be fine. I don't know how I didn't get hurt, he hit right at my door, my head star burst the window and my body slammed into the door, then I hung in my seat belt for 20 min untill they could get my wife out then get under me and cut the belt, then we just walked away. Thank God, and Dodge for making the Ram so tough.
So now we're supposed to put ourselves back in service and hit the road, but my heads not right. I hate myself for being such a baby, I keep telling myself to shake it off and get back to work, but I have lost faith in myself, I made a terrible mistake and we are lucky to have survived it. And I can't get the image of that car heading at my door out of my head, or shake the feeling I got right before he hit. Over 20 yrs without an accident, the last 6 of those doing expediting, but all confidence is gone.
If I was one of you reading this I'd be thinking what a lot of you are thinking, I screwed up and I need to stop acting like a wuss and get over it, I wish it was that easy, I'm pathetic.

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p84/ftp000/2011-01-27_14-33-48_400.jpg

 

[scottm4211]

Dude you're not a wuss. That is pretty traumatic what you went through. I'd be talking to a professional before I got back behind the wheel if I was stressing that much. Maybe your insurance company can help with that? Good luck.

 

[purgoose10]

Crash trauma can be devastating in any event.
I was a helicopter gunship pilot in the Army. After 2 1/2 yrs flying combat in VN I thought I was invisible. After returning from extension leave from the states for the fourth time I was ready. On my very first mission I was hit with anit aircraft and crashed into triple canopy jungle. My co-pilot was killed but the rest of the crew got out. I know what your going through and I can tell you, you will never forget but you have to learn to put it into perspective. Get some help from a professional, it's worth the time and the money. You won't regret it.

 

[jjoerger]

Good to hear no one was seriously injured.
I don't no what advice I could give to restore your confidence except to say that even the best drivers make mistakes at some point. I always try to learn from my mistakes and not let them happen again.
Good luck to you.

 

[robh2]

I am glad no one was really physically hurt.

Not a Wuss. I was in a bad wreck about 7-8 years ago and I still have issues. I could not get near a drivers seat for the longest time. I was just scared. Rest, get some help and do what you can.

Dont be afraid or ashamed to ask for help.

Robert

 

[greg334]

Glad you are alright, hope the other guy is too.

Don't take the following wrong BUT do not get over it, be a better driver because of it.

The traumatic affect from the accident will fade with time but your diligence from it I hope doesn't.

 

[ftp000]

I really appreciate the kind words, though I will say that I don't feel my issues are worthy of even being mentioned on the same day as Purgoose's sacrafices, let alone the same thread. And I take what Greg said in the spirit it was meant, I will definately try and take this hard knock and use it to hone my skills and raise my allertness, whether that's a word or not. Thanks all, I am determined to work thru this thing, back in service tomorrow morning, gotta get back up on that horse and ride, but if the trauma doesn't start to fade soon I won't be ashamed to seek help.

Thanks for giving me the chance to put the whole event into words and describe exactly what I'm going thru, it was therapeutic.

 

[moose]

. Get some help from a professional, it's worth the time and the money.

I 2nd this advice !
about 15 years ago (gee i'm old...) i was flying paragliders .
it is SOO mach fun!
then one day an spindrift collapsed the wing ,and @ only like 100 meters i was heading for the ground .
not doing what i was supposed to do ,i pulled the wrong side of the wing ,which made things so mach worst .
in the last split of time ,the middle wing pulled air ,and the increased air speed sent me landing on the wrong side of the mountain . truly lucky to be alive .
next week i was dumb enough to listen to all ,and went back to the mountain looking for air time .
never in my life i was so afraid !. it was a terrifying flight .
there was no way i would fly again .
it took almost a year of counseling by a professional flight shrink ,to get me back to the flight level as before.

the rezone i'm telling all of this ,is because my symptoms where just like yours .
i was diagnosed with deeply not trusting myself to take the right actions ,if faced with the same situations again .

now i do not know if it's 'worth the money' part .as my shrink came free of charge ,but then my was for recreational ,and you are making a living out of.

thanks for telling your story ,it helps to talk about...ain't it?

(o'h and you needs to try skydiving ... it can really help ! )

 

[louixo]

Trauma can happen to anyone, anytime for many reasons. Things happen. Mistakes happen. EVERYBODY makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself up over it. YOU have to get around it. you're the only one that can get yourself around it. You're alright, your family is alright, and the other person is alright. Focus on that. You have to forgive yourself, just like you would forgive someone else that made a mistake.

 

[LDB]

You certainly aren't pathetic or a wuss. You are human and humans make mistakes. Perhaps you should look at it that everyone survived quite well because God has a plan for you that isn't finished yet. Perhaps that plan includes you being an emissary on the road to counsel and encourage others to always be diligent and careful. Only you can figure things out for yourself. Good luck with it.

 

[cheri1122]

You are being too hard on yourself, which is probably hard on your wife, as well. With your safe driving record, you were a careful driver, and will continue to be when you get behind the wheel again - try not to let one misjudgement ruin more than it already has, ok?
And please: remove the words "wuss" etc from the loop that plays inside your head - your reactions are perfectly normal after a traumatic event, and will fade in time. You will be an even safer driver now, no doubt, which is the kind we need more of.

 

[jbfuson]

yes it can be, when i was 10 yrs old I was in a pretty bad car accident and came out of it with no injuries at all. I lost my mind when I woke up and seen what had just happend and the other peoples injuries. I went into shock and my heart stopped in the ambulance and once again while being wheeled into the hospital. I spent a week in the hospital and cant really remember anything about it before the time I woke up in the hospital bed. Im 36 now and it still bothers me when I think too much about it. Take your time and make sure your head is right before you hit the road again. So glad you came out of it without injuries. good luck