Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn't leaving 'til 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping
through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about
that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's tough.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just
saying...
Sincerely, Google
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea ... Just kidding! They're mostly
dead.
Sincerely,
BP Oil
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God (Saturn's pretty awesome)
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about fox.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed (... and not because of the lack of news about fox!)
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder(ful)
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Chinese People
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain ... no one wants to run with me either.
Sarah Palin
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because
some
Spanish dirt bags invaded our country and we got a little busy okay?
The Mayans
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words.
You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant
We could have sworn you said the Ark wasn't leaving 'til 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping
through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about
that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's tough.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just
saying...
Sincerely, Google
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea ... Just kidding! They're mostly
dead.
Sincerely,
BP Oil
Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God (Saturn's pretty awesome)
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about fox.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed (... and not because of the lack of news about fox!)
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder(ful)
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
Chinese People
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain ... no one wants to run with me either.
Sarah Palin
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendar ends there because
some
Spanish dirt bags invaded our country and we got a little busy okay?
The Mayans
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words.
You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Man,
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant