Send this one to the girls
- Thread starter louixo
- Start date
THE MAMMOGRAM
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all the warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully
And always (well mostly) wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno Dr. Puitt,
Said I should get a mamogram
"Okay", I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(she has my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts, "she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squished,
to Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I do git.
"There, that's good," I hear her saying,
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I am praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE"S never had this done,
To HER tender hide.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
I would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his b-lls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!!
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all the warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully
And always (well mostly) wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno Dr. Puitt,
Said I should get a mamogram
"Okay", I said, "let's do it."
"Stand up here real close" she said,
(she has my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts, "she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."
She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooters in a vise!
My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squished,
to Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's viselike grip.
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I do git.
"There, that's good," I hear her saying,
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I am praying.
It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE"S never had this done,
To HER tender hide.
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
I would have gone "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his b-lls in there,
And, see how THEY come out!!