We now return to the On Time Media Awards Show, brought to you by BioWillie Fuel. Inspired by bubbling bong water, powering you down the highway. And now your host, Lawrence!
Audience applauds...
Lawrence: Ladies and gentlemen, On Time Media is really excited we could put together the star power of our next presenters. Presenting the award for most creative use of a wheel chock, please give a warm welcome to Lindsay Lohan and Kieth Richards!
Audience applauds as they stumble on stage...
Lindsay: You know Kieth, you and I have a lot in common.
Kieth: (Laughs nervously as he leers at Lindsay, speaks but is unintelligible.)
Lindsay: That's right Kieth, but at least Mick returns my calls.
Kieth: (Unintelligible)
Lindsay: So Kieth, who are the nominees for most creative use of a wheel chock.
Kieth: (Unintelligible)
Lindsay: And the winner is... MOOT!!!!!
Audience gives a standing O, waving their chinchilla pelts...
Moot: (Looks down at the podium, dabbing a tear away) Wow... This is really an honor. One day, you're nothing more than a van driver, then the next thing you know...
(Chokes up, dabbing a tear)
I just want you all to know, this won't change me. I'll still make time for all the little people, you know, pretty much everyone other than me.
I'd like to thank...
The music begins to play and Lindsay and Kieth attempt to escort Moot off the stage.