Police snappers

[louixo]

Watch out. Even the cops are getting funny on the highway.
These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:


#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.."


#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."


#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."


#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."


#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."


#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"


#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"


#9 "Warning! You want a warning? OK, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."


#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"


#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs, and step in monkey poop."


#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."


#5 "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.."


#4 "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"


#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."


#2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

 

[wellarmed]

Did you hear about the cop that pulled two guys over and when he confronted the driver about running a stop sign the driver said,I slowed down, wasn't that good enough? the cop reached in the car with his billyclub and started hitting him in the head with it and asked if he would like him to stop or would slowing down be good enough,he then walked around to the passenger and motioned for him to roll the window down he then reached in with the billyclub and cracked him in the head the guy said what was that for and the cop sayed just granting your wish,the guy said what do you mean and the cop said you would have gotten down the road and told your freind,I wish he would have tryed to hit me with that billyclub.