parenting then and now

[LDB]

Back in "the old days" parents were the law and kids were told what to do and that was it. Now, in "the enlightened days" we're told it's stifling and counter productive to dictate to children rather than giving them options so they can choose what they want to do. That's really good advice. Children shouldn't be dictated to and told you will do ABC and that's it. They should have options. They should be told you have a choice. You can do ABC now or you can do ABC after your spanking.

 

[nightcreacher]

kids today are like people in the park,and their dogs are walking them

 

[OntarioVanMan]

As much as kids seem to hate it..they do need LEADERSHIP! My 3 kids now in early 20's all have told me this. Thier mom was a "choices and rights" type...where I was a do as your told or else type...they knew mom was a push over BUT they knew they'd have to deal with Dad!!! How can kids learn leadership and responsibility skills if there is none at home?...

 

[pelicn]

We tried the "lets be friends with our kids" route....BAD IDEA! As teenagers, it was a battle until we finally looked at ourselves and decided enough was enough. Boys didn't like it one bit, but, as we told them, this is our house and our rules, don't like it? Don't let the screen door hit ya.

Our youngest took us up on that....he now tells us that it was his worst mistake. Sure was a lot easier to live under mom and dad's rules than to struggle on his own. Luckily, they all turned out ok even though we didn't have an instruction manual to go by.

 

[dabluzman1]

We raised our daughter with the notion of trust.
We trusted our opinion on how she should be raised.
She had chores and responsibilities ( both at home and school ) that if met awarded her
liberties.
As her liberties were earned by her actions, she was made aware, they could be lost by
her actions.
She turned out pretty good. We are both proud of Heather and her walk into an adult life.
Spare the rod, nope.
Ground her, yep.
Reward her, yep.
Most importantly, deal with a kid out of love, never anger, always remember who is the adult and who is the child.

 

[greg334]

I have seen a lot of messed up kids growing up. My parents were frank about why some of our friends were messed up and on drugs or drinking - most of the parents entrusted in the schools and teachers to tell them how to be parents and they told the parents they needed to be the kids friend first parent second. This was the experimental classroom, 'understanding' the child, the Dr Spock approach to children in practice and the teacher is the expert time period of the country.

In fact the one thing I can proudly say is we didn't have parents who were friends but parents who were parents. My wife was friends with my Mom, my brother-in-laws are friend with my father but to us kids they are parents.

In fact I watch Wifeswap with my wife today and one father on there wanted to be a friend to his kids, this all the while they had the oldest is living with his girlfriend in the his bedroom and the youngest screwing her boyfreind while he lives in the basement - model family there.