The following is for Rags, a huge Julia Roberts fan and Leo who is not only a Julia Roberts fan, but also a member of the American Quarter Horse Association. Also for IRT who served this country as a Naval Seaman.
Julia Roberts was born to Betty Lou Bredemus October 28, 1967. Ms. Bredemus was artificially inseminated in January of that year at Ralph's Vegetarian Fertility Clinic and Sperm Bank. At Ralph's, only the finest sperm from vegans is accepted. In those days fertility/sperm banking was a fledgling business. The great state of California had not yet regulated this industry and mistakes were made. It was a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type business. Donors and their semen were often improperly identified. It was a case where one hand didn't know what the other hand was doing and Ralph's was no exception.
Prior to being inseminated, Julia's mother filled out a sperm request form. While studying the various donor categories she came upon
Esquire. The word conjured up images of aristocracy, refinement, cake and tea. She became giddy with the thought of an English gentleman fathering her child. She was so excited that she put an X in the box next to
Equine, which was directly above
Esquire on the alphabetized list. No one at Ralph's noticed the mistake.
A year before Julia's mother was to be inseminated, a popular television show starring a horse was canceled. This horse was always on a steady course but changed tack after being fired. He hooked up with an unemployed, glue sniffing mule. The 1960's were the end of an era for animals as far as television and movie opportunities. Many other famous animals were out of work; Cheetah, Flicka, Gentle Ben, Jerry Mathers, Flipper and Godzilla, to name a few.
The horse and the mule roamed the hills of Hollywood. To support the mule's glue habit, the pair often came down from the hills to sell their plasma and semen. Being a mule, the mule's sperm was useless to a place such as Ralph's. They would only except donations from the horse. This was an ironic kick in the αss to the mule because the very last movie he starred in was "Francis Joins The Navy". The mule was none other than Francis The Talking Mule. The horse of course was the famous Mr. Ed. It was Mr. Ed's sperm that was used to impregnate Julia's mother. Now you know the rest of the story.
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