Enjoy your English while you can.....The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "EURO-ENGLISH."
In the 1st year, "s" will replace the soft "c." Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k." This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There would be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f." This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always bn a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is digrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v."
(Read from here out loud for best effect.....)
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum truleas ples pas on to oza pepl und red da rod sinz mit car...............
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "EURO-ENGLISH."
In the 1st year, "s" will replace the soft "c." Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k." This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There would be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f." This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always bn a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is digrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v."
(Read from here out loud for best effect.....)
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum truleas ples pas on to oza pepl und red da rod sinz mit car...............