Cowboy and the Yuppie

louixo

Veteran Expediter
Charter Member
A West Texas cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"]\

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" You're a Congressman for the U.S. government" says the cowboy. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows........
Now give me back my dog."
 

younglobo

Expert Expediter
That joke reminded me of a funny story : I once owned a farm and ran Cattle a few years ago so i took out a loan for 25 cow/calf pairs and one day my banker came to the place to check up on me and was livid when i Had 25 cows but no calves, I explained to her that I had taken the Calves to market and that is why they where not in the pasture,she was still insisted that my loan papers clearly stated 25 cow calve pairs as collateral on my loan and that i was breakin the loan agreement with the bank. My reply was how did she think i was gonna pay for said cows this was not a hobby farm, after several minutes of arguin i pointed at an old bull that was in the pasture, give him time youll get your 25 calves back and went in the house. DUH city folks.

:+
 
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